In the midst of all of the summer blockbusters comes a most unexpected piece of cinema - District 9.
District 9 is this year's Blood Diamond. Seriously. It is. I shit you not. They billed this joint as an action/sci-fi flick but it has some of the deepest social commentary of any major film released so far this year.
The story is told following a character named Wikus who gets the job of what is basically head of the "alien civil affairs" project that is overseeing a huge migration of aliens that came to Earth 20 years ago and reside just outside of the city of Johannesburg in an area called District 9. The aliens are malnourished and many are somewhat unruly and in need of medical care. They are set up in CAMPS. Any of this sound familiar? The company responsible for the project (called the MNU) also happens to be the biggest arms dealer in the world and are interested in alien weapon technology. The aliens interact with humans and tend to barter with Nigerian rebels. Starting to sound more familiar?
So, Wikus is responsible for getting them to sign forms that allow them to legally be migrated. Aliens? Sign forms? You know that's some bullshit, right? With the help of an army, he goes in and tries to get them to agree to move in 24 hours. Of course, not all of the aliens are happy with the idea of migration. (No shit). During the course of his journey, we see what is a mirror of what has happened with the refugee camps in Johannesburg. What I thought was going to be a an action packed Independence Day 2 kind of joint actually turned out to be more like Blood Diamonds. I can't say I'm the least bit disappointed. It draws attention to a bigger issue and also calls for the examination of the human condition and how it deals with the almost hand-in-hand existence of poverty and cruelty.
There is a lot of action in this film. There is also a deeper social commentary that absolutely has to be examined when discussing it. Since G.I. Joe had enough action for two movies, I'm glad that this movie took the direction it did.
Because I'm not a spoiler type, I can't go into more detail about what Wikus goes through without giving away important plot points. He befriends an alien and his son and the rest of the movie is about their journey. In all honesty, if you are one of those types who is into more sophisticated movies but has a secret penchant for death and destruction that needs filling from time-to-time, this movie is the stone to kill your two birds with.
I can't not recommend this movie. Its good. I can say that if you are expecting the same type of flick as G.I. Joe and Transformers, you've got another thing coming. I think the biggest letdown for many people will probably be that this movie isn't mindless enough. The trailers are purposely deceptive in order to get heads into the theaters. I can also say that you have to suspend belief going in as there are things that don't add up unless you allow for creative license. You can't enjoy a movie if you bring too many "whys" in with you. That being said, I say go see it. I may even fuck with it again after it hits the theaters. Its big budget, so big screen is the best outlet for it.
The CGI is damn good.
The story is damn good.
The movie is good overall. Just don't go in with the ID2 expectations and you won't be disappointed.
Peace.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
A Perfect Getaway
Well, well, well. So this is what you get when you put Hitman, Quintin from Bandidas and Alice from the Resident Evil movies together? Hmmm. Not bad. Not bad at all. Despite a done to death whos-the-killer style semi-action thriller premise, the actors turned what should have been a run-of-the-mill movie with straight to DVD potential into an interesting flick.
Set in Hawaii, the idea basically plays out like this: there's a killer couple who is lurking about after just committing murder on one of the islands. You (the audience) are presented with three sets of couples and you have to figure out who is the killer couple. Unfortunately for me, I figured it out about six minutes in. Despite that, the actors make it a very interesting story. Steve Zahn plays his usual somewhat awkward and quirky character. Milla is his newlywed wife who is caught up in the idea of enjoying the trip through the lovely landscape of Hawaii. On the way, they hastily offer this couple a ride - an ex-con and a hippie chick - and then rescind it and then re-offer after they have pissed off the ex-con. Yeah, they's funny-stylin' on 'em. A little further in the journey, they meet a slightly crazy ex-special ops cat (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend and from there its all about trying to figure out what's up.
The acting in this movie is pretty good. You get a full sense of the characters and the story is pretty well developed. To top it off, normally, these types of movies happen in a house in the middle of nowhere but having it happen in a tropical paradise adds a unique sense of reality to the movie.
Normally, I would say this shit is going straight to DVD but I actually enjoyed the movie. The acting is on point. Even though I figured it out early on, I still had fun watching. Its paced very well and has sparse moments of humor that really make the characters interesting. Now I probably wouldn't drop $10-11 a head to see this joint at night but this would make a good matinee and a damn good rental. I already know this joint is gonna get slept on. It shouldn't, but it will. If you like mysteries with a light feel to them, this is your flick. I almost didn't fuck with it but I'm glad I did. Unfortunately, there's not much flesh in this film from the women folk, so its kinda safe but there are some pretty ugly flesh wounds so the gore factor is not exactly at the bottom end.
All in all, its a good joint to fuck with if you are looking for a flick this weekend.
Set in Hawaii, the idea basically plays out like this: there's a killer couple who is lurking about after just committing murder on one of the islands. You (the audience) are presented with three sets of couples and you have to figure out who is the killer couple. Unfortunately for me, I figured it out about six minutes in. Despite that, the actors make it a very interesting story. Steve Zahn plays his usual somewhat awkward and quirky character. Milla is his newlywed wife who is caught up in the idea of enjoying the trip through the lovely landscape of Hawaii. On the way, they hastily offer this couple a ride - an ex-con and a hippie chick - and then rescind it and then re-offer after they have pissed off the ex-con. Yeah, they's funny-stylin' on 'em. A little further in the journey, they meet a slightly crazy ex-special ops cat (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend and from there its all about trying to figure out what's up.
The acting in this movie is pretty good. You get a full sense of the characters and the story is pretty well developed. To top it off, normally, these types of movies happen in a house in the middle of nowhere but having it happen in a tropical paradise adds a unique sense of reality to the movie.
Normally, I would say this shit is going straight to DVD but I actually enjoyed the movie. The acting is on point. Even though I figured it out early on, I still had fun watching. Its paced very well and has sparse moments of humor that really make the characters interesting. Now I probably wouldn't drop $10-11 a head to see this joint at night but this would make a good matinee and a damn good rental. I already know this joint is gonna get slept on. It shouldn't, but it will. If you like mysteries with a light feel to them, this is your flick. I almost didn't fuck with it but I'm glad I did. Unfortunately, there's not much flesh in this film from the women folk, so its kinda safe but there are some pretty ugly flesh wounds so the gore factor is not exactly at the bottom end.
All in all, its a good joint to fuck with if you are looking for a flick this weekend.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Yeah, mutha fuckas!
Megan Fox is back...
Optimus Prime is back...
Megatron is back...
Jazz is..uh,...well...errr....
This is a big ass flick. Its so big that realistically, you shouldn't even bother with a bootleg of it. I'm not kidding. The ONLY real way to see this movie is in the theater with a big ass bucket of popcorn or a happy meal and a drink you snuck in under your jacket. This movie takes the last movie and multiplies it by 5. The CGI is humongous. There are way more Transformers, way more fight scenes and its way longer...as in two hours and twenty-three minutes! Yep. Piss before you go to the theater.
Okay, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because unless you've been living under a rock or been in jail for the past few years, you already know what time it is with the Transformers.
This time, the Autobots are chasing something new. There's a new, bigger enemy. Of course, Sam is the key...again. Come on, you don't need plot. This movie is about giant robots kicking the shit out of each other sprinkled with various shots of Megan looking hot as fuck. YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT ITS ABOUT.
Now I know the geeks wanna know shit like "Is Soundwave in this" or "What about the Constructicons, Omega Supreme..blah, blah, blah..." FUCK YOU. If you want to know any of that specific shit, take yo ass to the movie or find one of those geek ass spoiler message boards.
The only thing you need to know about this movie is what I have already told you.
This is the biggest movie of the year so far.
Even if you don't like the movie, you will still be able to say you got your money's worth.
If you're going to download and watch a fuzzy ass CAM, you may as well not even watch the movie. This movie is made for the theater experience. At least wait for a good R5 bootleg. This shit is LARGE.
That being said, its "decent" but not great. The humans take a back seat to the CGI and some of the characters from the first movie are reduced to mere one-liners. There are a couple of new faces in this one but over all its about metal vs. metal and you get exactly that. If you like big budget pop-crowd movies, this is as mainstream as it gets. I can't honestly think of a reason to see or not see this movie. Its pretty cut and dry. Either you like giant robot fights or you don't.
Megan Fox is back...
Optimus Prime is back...
Megatron is back...
Jazz is..uh,...well...errr....
This is a big ass flick. Its so big that realistically, you shouldn't even bother with a bootleg of it. I'm not kidding. The ONLY real way to see this movie is in the theater with a big ass bucket of popcorn or a happy meal and a drink you snuck in under your jacket. This movie takes the last movie and multiplies it by 5. The CGI is humongous. There are way more Transformers, way more fight scenes and its way longer...as in two hours and twenty-three minutes! Yep. Piss before you go to the theater.
Okay, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because unless you've been living under a rock or been in jail for the past few years, you already know what time it is with the Transformers.
This time, the Autobots are chasing something new. There's a new, bigger enemy. Of course, Sam is the key...again. Come on, you don't need plot. This movie is about giant robots kicking the shit out of each other sprinkled with various shots of Megan looking hot as fuck. YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT ITS ABOUT.
Now I know the geeks wanna know shit like "Is Soundwave in this" or "What about the Constructicons, Omega Supreme..blah, blah, blah..." FUCK YOU. If you want to know any of that specific shit, take yo ass to the movie or find one of those geek ass spoiler message boards.
The only thing you need to know about this movie is what I have already told you.
This is the biggest movie of the year so far.
Even if you don't like the movie, you will still be able to say you got your money's worth.
If you're going to download and watch a fuzzy ass CAM, you may as well not even watch the movie. This movie is made for the theater experience. At least wait for a good R5 bootleg. This shit is LARGE.
That being said, its "decent" but not great. The humans take a back seat to the CGI and some of the characters from the first movie are reduced to mere one-liners. There are a couple of new faces in this one but over all its about metal vs. metal and you get exactly that. If you like big budget pop-crowd movies, this is as mainstream as it gets. I can't honestly think of a reason to see or not see this movie. Its pretty cut and dry. Either you like giant robot fights or you don't.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Taking Of Pelham 123
Well, looks like its another game of "Let's Remake a Classic" as they finally get around to fucking with this one.
Ironically, I just re-watched the original with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw just a couple of weeks ago.
There are considerable differences between these two movies. The original was a slick, stylish film about the hijacking of a subway car - Pelham 123 in which Walter Matthau, the dispatch operator, exchanged a lot of slick dialogue with Robert Shaw, his real-life friend and co-star. Robert Shaw was the hijacker, seeking to get ransom money and would only talk to Walter Matthau. A lot of good dialogue was exchanged in that film.
Stepping into Matthau's role is Denzel Washington. Into Shaw's - John Travolta. A good pairing if you ask me. For some reason, I like Travolta much better as a bad guy. In this movie, he continues to impress as a bad guy.
Now if you think you're going to get a heads up on this film by going back and watching the old one, think again, mutha fucka! Not gonna happen. The old film was very textured in that it showed NY as it was in the 70s. Well, NY is very obviously a different place now. Times are different and people react differently to different things. Technology is different and they utilize all of that in this movie. Also, because the average moviegoer has the attention span of a gnat, its not laid out the same way the original was with a lot of clever back-n-forth between the two main characters. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's some - just not as much or in the same way as the original. In this flick, Denzel is not a cop. He doesn't play his normal, cooler than thou character. Travolta playas an arrogant and commanding fucker...almost like his normal bad guy roles, but he's not as clam in this and you never know when he's going to flip.
If you haven't seen the original (or the trailers), you may not know that this is a hijacking movie. In truth, this film is more than a hijacking movie. I think the idea was pretty decent and they don't reveal the full plot to the audience until late in the movie. John Turturro and Luiz Guzman give good performances, although John is playing a slightly watered down version of his role as the asshole agent in Transformers. James Gandolfini gives a good show at being the "I don't give a fuck" mayor who is trying as fast as he can to get to the end of his term and say "Fuck NY".
Okay, here's the quick rundown - John and a few henchmen orchestrate the hijacking of a subway car and ask for ransom. Most of the communication is between John and Denzel as Denzel is the current controller for that particular section. The movie explores a few options - "Is there more to it all than this?" "Are Denzel and John in on this together?" all the while keeping the audience interested by sparse action resulting in a few deaths here and there. Most of the movie plays out in the subway car and the controller's offices.
Now, since this is a modern movie, modern movie goers have far more expectations than the audiences of the 70s, so there are differences. I can't tell you what they are, but there are differences. While this movie lacks the style and slick lyricism of the original, it will hold your attention if you're one of the pop crowd of movie goers who gets "bored with too much talking" and want to see some shit get fucked up. Tony Scott is a good director and doesn't disappoint.
My criticism, ,however is that in my opinion, Tony brought Dave Chappelle's "Wrap It Up" box on the set with him for the end. Its like they said "Aight, let's finish this shit quick and NOW!" Part of the appeal of the original was the end with the sneeze and the look on Walter Matthau's face. This movie does NOT end that way. I think the end is my least favorite part of the movie. I still have to hand it to them for making what is otherwise a tired concept (hijackings are sooo 80s) into a watchable film. I think Tony went a little too Hollywood and underestimates the general audience's tolerance for great acting and good dialog. To be honest, this film had more action than it needed and that detracted slightly from the character interaction. I think Denzel held back nicely while Travolta was wilding out as he does sometimes.
I would say this joint is worth a matinee or if you're going on a date, even a night viewing. I've spent money on worse movies.
This movie teeters between being typical and exceptional, falling short of being a great remake but being far from being a shitty one. The Denzel/Travolta performance is worth it for me, but some people are going to dislike this movie no matter what I say. I'd fuck with it again if I had to. Ain't shit else worth fuckin' with that's opening on the 12th except for possibly the new Eddie Murphy joint - Imagine That. Unless you're gonna catch up on the shit you've already missed, what else you gonna fuck with? The Taking Of Pelham 123 is probably your best bet. If not, its damn sure a good rental when the DVD drops. Fuck with it.
Ironically, I just re-watched the original with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw just a couple of weeks ago.
There are considerable differences between these two movies. The original was a slick, stylish film about the hijacking of a subway car - Pelham 123 in which Walter Matthau, the dispatch operator, exchanged a lot of slick dialogue with Robert Shaw, his real-life friend and co-star. Robert Shaw was the hijacker, seeking to get ransom money and would only talk to Walter Matthau. A lot of good dialogue was exchanged in that film.
Stepping into Matthau's role is Denzel Washington. Into Shaw's - John Travolta. A good pairing if you ask me. For some reason, I like Travolta much better as a bad guy. In this movie, he continues to impress as a bad guy.
Now if you think you're going to get a heads up on this film by going back and watching the old one, think again, mutha fucka! Not gonna happen. The old film was very textured in that it showed NY as it was in the 70s. Well, NY is very obviously a different place now. Times are different and people react differently to different things. Technology is different and they utilize all of that in this movie. Also, because the average moviegoer has the attention span of a gnat, its not laid out the same way the original was with a lot of clever back-n-forth between the two main characters. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's some - just not as much or in the same way as the original. In this flick, Denzel is not a cop. He doesn't play his normal, cooler than thou character. Travolta playas an arrogant and commanding fucker...almost like his normal bad guy roles, but he's not as clam in this and you never know when he's going to flip.
If you haven't seen the original (or the trailers), you may not know that this is a hijacking movie. In truth, this film is more than a hijacking movie. I think the idea was pretty decent and they don't reveal the full plot to the audience until late in the movie. John Turturro and Luiz Guzman give good performances, although John is playing a slightly watered down version of his role as the asshole agent in Transformers. James Gandolfini gives a good show at being the "I don't give a fuck" mayor who is trying as fast as he can to get to the end of his term and say "Fuck NY".
Okay, here's the quick rundown - John and a few henchmen orchestrate the hijacking of a subway car and ask for ransom. Most of the communication is between John and Denzel as Denzel is the current controller for that particular section. The movie explores a few options - "Is there more to it all than this?" "Are Denzel and John in on this together?" all the while keeping the audience interested by sparse action resulting in a few deaths here and there. Most of the movie plays out in the subway car and the controller's offices.
Now, since this is a modern movie, modern movie goers have far more expectations than the audiences of the 70s, so there are differences. I can't tell you what they are, but there are differences. While this movie lacks the style and slick lyricism of the original, it will hold your attention if you're one of the pop crowd of movie goers who gets "bored with too much talking" and want to see some shit get fucked up. Tony Scott is a good director and doesn't disappoint.
My criticism, ,however is that in my opinion, Tony brought Dave Chappelle's "Wrap It Up" box on the set with him for the end. Its like they said "Aight, let's finish this shit quick and NOW!" Part of the appeal of the original was the end with the sneeze and the look on Walter Matthau's face. This movie does NOT end that way. I think the end is my least favorite part of the movie. I still have to hand it to them for making what is otherwise a tired concept (hijackings are sooo 80s) into a watchable film. I think Tony went a little too Hollywood and underestimates the general audience's tolerance for great acting and good dialog. To be honest, this film had more action than it needed and that detracted slightly from the character interaction. I think Denzel held back nicely while Travolta was wilding out as he does sometimes.
I would say this joint is worth a matinee or if you're going on a date, even a night viewing. I've spent money on worse movies.
This movie teeters between being typical and exceptional, falling short of being a great remake but being far from being a shitty one. The Denzel/Travolta performance is worth it for me, but some people are going to dislike this movie no matter what I say. I'd fuck with it again if I had to. Ain't shit else worth fuckin' with that's opening on the 12th except for possibly the new Eddie Murphy joint - Imagine That. Unless you're gonna catch up on the shit you've already missed, what else you gonna fuck with? The Taking Of Pelham 123 is probably your best bet. If not, its damn sure a good rental when the DVD drops. Fuck with it.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Next Day Air - Mo Review
Donald Faison is a talented dude who is funny as fuck on Scrubs. Mos Def is a talented dude who is a fire rapper and has a unique onscreen presence. Mike Epps is an all around funny mofo that can add life to an otherwise dull movie. Wood Harris has been killin' it on screen for years and Darius McCrary...well...there was always Family Matters, Eddie. Still, with the talent line up in this movie, you would think you'd be able to squeeze out a decent comedy about a mis-delivered box of drugs, a couple of high ass delivery dudes, some pissed off dealers and some happy ass two-time loser crooks. You would think, right? Well, Benny Boom almost did with his directorial debut. The problem is that this movie couldn't decide what kind of comedy it was going to be, if it was going to be a comedy at all.
Let me lay it out a little bit:
Donald Faison (Leo) is a fuck up. He's a delivery driver who gets high 24/7 and is only holding onto his job because his mom (Debbie Allen) is the supervisor. Wood Harris (Guch) and Mike Epps (Brody) are homies that are "crime buddies" who constantly fuck up heists, the latest one being a bank robbery where they end up jacking the security tapes instead of the money. Cisco Reyes (Jesus - that's HAY-zeus, but not if you let him tell it) is waiting for a big shipment of coke from his boss while being constantly reprimanded by his pestering girlfriend Yasmin Deliz (Chita). [Mos Def]Damn, that bitch was bad![/Mos Def]
Leo fucks up and delivers the box to Jesus's neighbors, Brody and Guch. See where this is going? The shit should have been funny as fuck. They made a few crucial mistakes. Mos Def is highly underused. He's only in a couple of scenes - one of which is in the trailer. Secondly, the movie goes from being a comedy to being a black comedy (not a black cast comedy, fools! A black comedy like War Of The Roses or Pulp Fiction) to being a drama with a message? I'm not even sure. That's the problem. Benny, you need to go back to directing videos, nigga - if you can't get your shit together. One of the most important parts of directing is DIRECTION and this movie had too many. Instead of being "typical" they tried to flip shit up. I wish they'd have chosen to be typical. The reason there are formulas for certain types of movies is because they work. If this were an indie film, they could have played with it a bit more and it could have been tight. Instead, they were vague about what kind of movie you were seeing and the characters were not likable enough for you to feel compassion for any of them. There have been many movies to fall into this trap before. I remember not caring if any of the characters from Cloverfield survived because none of them were all that relatable. This movie, while having funny characters, also had characters that were too flawed to see as the protagonist and you end up defaulting to characters that are "less fucked up" than others.
I went in wanting to like this movie. I admit that. The ending made me have to cast a dark cloud on this film.
If you go see this joint, go see it because you want to support Benny in hopes he gets it right next time. Go see it because you know all of the white folk and Trek fans are going to be at Star Trek. Go to see fine ass Yasmin Deliz, who actually proved to have much more potential as an actress after this film. Go for the theater experience. Go for the popcorn and artificial butter. Just don't go thinking Mo suggested it. I would really wait till this movie is on video to see it.
Let me lay it out a little bit:
Donald Faison (Leo) is a fuck up. He's a delivery driver who gets high 24/7 and is only holding onto his job because his mom (Debbie Allen) is the supervisor. Wood Harris (Guch) and Mike Epps (Brody) are homies that are "crime buddies" who constantly fuck up heists, the latest one being a bank robbery where they end up jacking the security tapes instead of the money. Cisco Reyes (Jesus - that's HAY-zeus, but not if you let him tell it) is waiting for a big shipment of coke from his boss while being constantly reprimanded by his pestering girlfriend Yasmin Deliz (Chita). [Mos Def]Damn, that bitch was bad![/Mos Def]
Leo fucks up and delivers the box to Jesus's neighbors, Brody and Guch. See where this is going? The shit should have been funny as fuck. They made a few crucial mistakes. Mos Def is highly underused. He's only in a couple of scenes - one of which is in the trailer. Secondly, the movie goes from being a comedy to being a black comedy (not a black cast comedy, fools! A black comedy like War Of The Roses or Pulp Fiction) to being a drama with a message? I'm not even sure. That's the problem. Benny, you need to go back to directing videos, nigga - if you can't get your shit together. One of the most important parts of directing is DIRECTION and this movie had too many. Instead of being "typical" they tried to flip shit up. I wish they'd have chosen to be typical. The reason there are formulas for certain types of movies is because they work. If this were an indie film, they could have played with it a bit more and it could have been tight. Instead, they were vague about what kind of movie you were seeing and the characters were not likable enough for you to feel compassion for any of them. There have been many movies to fall into this trap before. I remember not caring if any of the characters from Cloverfield survived because none of them were all that relatable. This movie, while having funny characters, also had characters that were too flawed to see as the protagonist and you end up defaulting to characters that are "less fucked up" than others.
I went in wanting to like this movie. I admit that. The ending made me have to cast a dark cloud on this film.
If you go see this joint, go see it because you want to support Benny in hopes he gets it right next time. Go see it because you know all of the white folk and Trek fans are going to be at Star Trek. Go to see fine ass Yasmin Deliz, who actually proved to have much more potential as an actress after this film. Go for the theater experience. Go for the popcorn and artificial butter. Just don't go thinking Mo suggested it. I would really wait till this movie is on video to see it.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Star Trek
So JJ Abrahms must have felt guilty after that Cloverfield fiasco and decided to come back in a big way.
I was floored by the job he did on Star Trek. This shit is off the hook. Of course, we know all of the characters, which means Abrahms was walking a tightrope because if he miscast any one character, everyone would hate his movie. He didn't. I was completely feelin' Zoe Saldana as Uhura. Kirk was pompous and headstrong without the bad acting. Casting John Cho as Sulu and Simon Peg as Scotty was a damn good idea because this movie is much funnier than I expected. Its borderline comedy. Now they did change a few details and take a couple of creative licenses but nothing that would fuck up the characters. The plot line was tight and the best casting was actually probably Carl Urban as McCoy. Dude had him dead on! Leonard Nemoy himself chose Spock - and he chose well. Dude that played Chekov had the voice down perfect and the goofy stares, too.The effects were off the chain, the story was thorough, the characters were dead on and you can see how they developed into the characters of the original cast from their experiences. I honestly have no complaints at all about this flick. Now, I'm not saying its perfect. Eric Bana came off as a little too anxious for a Romulan and I could have stood to see a bigger fight scene with him. Other than that, it was off the hook. I fully recommend this joint. In case you're wondering or haven't seen the trailer, its a prequel that takes place before the actually first Star Trek series. Dumb question time:
Q: Can I take the kids?
A: Duh.
Q: Should I matineé this mutha fucka?
A: Any time is fine. Its actually worth the money.
Q: Will this beat Wolverine at the box office?
A: Why the fuck do you care? Did you invest in one of the movies? If not, then who gives a fuck? It ain't your money. Stop worrying about other peoples' cash flow.
This, in my opinion, is a better movie than Wolverine.
Personally, there's not a choice between the two. Wolverine was decent but I could site several things that make it less desirable of a movie. Star Trek was WELL DONE on all levels. It doesn't matter if you're an old trekkie from the first series or if you've never seen a Star Trek episode in your life. This was a good movie all around. It was a good balance of sci-fi, adventure and comedy and will probably be worth re-watching years from now.
Bottom line: Fucks with this. Take the kids. Take your girl. Enjoy. I know there will always be somebody who doesn't like it. I can't help you there. This is a good joint. Its worth a trip to the theater. A fuzzy bootleg won't do it justice.
I was floored by the job he did on Star Trek. This shit is off the hook. Of course, we know all of the characters, which means Abrahms was walking a tightrope because if he miscast any one character, everyone would hate his movie. He didn't. I was completely feelin' Zoe Saldana as Uhura. Kirk was pompous and headstrong without the bad acting. Casting John Cho as Sulu and Simon Peg as Scotty was a damn good idea because this movie is much funnier than I expected. Its borderline comedy. Now they did change a few details and take a couple of creative licenses but nothing that would fuck up the characters. The plot line was tight and the best casting was actually probably Carl Urban as McCoy. Dude had him dead on! Leonard Nemoy himself chose Spock - and he chose well. Dude that played Chekov had the voice down perfect and the goofy stares, too.The effects were off the chain, the story was thorough, the characters were dead on and you can see how they developed into the characters of the original cast from their experiences. I honestly have no complaints at all about this flick. Now, I'm not saying its perfect. Eric Bana came off as a little too anxious for a Romulan and I could have stood to see a bigger fight scene with him. Other than that, it was off the hook. I fully recommend this joint. In case you're wondering or haven't seen the trailer, its a prequel that takes place before the actually first Star Trek series. Dumb question time:
Q: Can I take the kids?
A: Duh.
Q: Should I matineé this mutha fucka?
A: Any time is fine. Its actually worth the money.
Q: Will this beat Wolverine at the box office?
A: Why the fuck do you care? Did you invest in one of the movies? If not, then who gives a fuck? It ain't your money. Stop worrying about other peoples' cash flow.
This, in my opinion, is a better movie than Wolverine.
Personally, there's not a choice between the two. Wolverine was decent but I could site several things that make it less desirable of a movie. Star Trek was WELL DONE on all levels. It doesn't matter if you're an old trekkie from the first series or if you've never seen a Star Trek episode in your life. This was a good movie all around. It was a good balance of sci-fi, adventure and comedy and will probably be worth re-watching years from now.
Bottom line: Fucks with this. Take the kids. Take your girl. Enjoy. I know there will always be somebody who doesn't like it. I can't help you there. This is a good joint. Its worth a trip to the theater. A fuzzy bootleg won't do it justice.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Last House On The Left
In this era of remakes where it seems like nobody has an original thought, all you can usually do is hope that they at least do a good job on the remake. Well, I think Hollywood is starting to get the idea with movies like The Last House On The Left.
Normally, most would sit up and compare it to the original version. Well, fuck that. I'm not gonna do it...THIS TIME. A quick run down on the flick: A family rolls out to this summer home in the woods. (Last house on the left my ass, it was the ONLY house on the left). Daughter - champion swimmer, only child. She, mom and dad the doctor are just out kicking it, doing what happy upper middle class white folk do.
Daughter decides to go kick it with her friend the pothead. They run into this teen boy with the good stuff (sticky icky) and they bounce over to his hotel room to smoke one. Daughter is reluctant but friend is good to go (as always). While they are there, in comes Daddy, his girl and his uncle. That's when the party starts. Since they are all psychopaths (except the son), its no surprise that they wild out. Being that they are wanted criminals, the son realizes that he fucked up when his dad, uncle and dad's bitch take them into the woods and kick off what has to be one of the most graphic and unsettling rape scenes in American film in the last 15 years or so. I mean that shit was hard! (So that's what killer Dad does when he's not hunting down John Connor, huh?) The wild thing is that you actually see more nudity in this movie from killer Dad's girlfriend than you do of the victim (daughter) but the scene itself is harsh. You really realize how traumatizing rape probably is and they really drive home how vicious humans can be. Now, this scene is not as cold as Monica Bellucci's scene in "Irreversible", which in my opinion is the most graphic rape scene in cinema, but its not too far off. Now, the shit gets interesting because it really takes a turn for the worst for the girls and as it turns out, the "family" is very near the house with the daughter's mom and dad and it starts to storm, so guess where they show up?
Yeah, after a carefully placed item gets noticed, the shit pops off! You already know how these types of movies are gonna go if you've seen a lot of thrillers. Unlike a lot of other recent movies, Last House On The Left actually is a thrill to watch. I think because its a hard R instead of PG-13 and that made a big difference.
Okay, now for the questions: If I go, can I take my 6, 9, 13, 15 year old? HELL NO!
Its it worth paying full admission price for?
Uh, I probably wouldn't just because its a mid-budget thriller and the acting is just "okay" but if you want to see a real R rated movie like they used to have back in the 70s/80s, this is it. As a matter of fact, its one of the most "R" rated movies I've seen this year. Its well worth the matinee price but heed my warning, if you take a female, she may get up and walk out of this one and don't expect to get no action afterward unless she has rape fantasies. There's nothing that gets a woman out of the mood like seeing another woman get violated.
This movie isn't that bad. As a matter of fact, its pretty good and stands up on its own, even though its a remake. I have a couple of personal issues with how weak Dr. Dad came off at times. I'm sick of Hollywood trying to send the subtle messages that men are weak. That shit is played out. But, fuck it. I won't go there...THIS TIME.
This shit ain't for kids and it ain't for teens either. If you go, DON'T TAKE THEM.
Its worth the dough for a matineé if you see a lot of movies. If you don't, go ahead and pay the full price. I've seen people pay more for worse.
Hollywood is starting to come around and make real R-rated cinema again. I like this trend. I'm sick of having to wait for the "unrated DVD" to see the real movie.
Peace.
Normally, most would sit up and compare it to the original version. Well, fuck that. I'm not gonna do it...THIS TIME. A quick run down on the flick: A family rolls out to this summer home in the woods. (Last house on the left my ass, it was the ONLY house on the left). Daughter - champion swimmer, only child. She, mom and dad the doctor are just out kicking it, doing what happy upper middle class white folk do.
Daughter decides to go kick it with her friend the pothead. They run into this teen boy with the good stuff (sticky icky) and they bounce over to his hotel room to smoke one. Daughter is reluctant but friend is good to go (as always). While they are there, in comes Daddy, his girl and his uncle. That's when the party starts. Since they are all psychopaths (except the son), its no surprise that they wild out. Being that they are wanted criminals, the son realizes that he fucked up when his dad, uncle and dad's bitch take them into the woods and kick off what has to be one of the most graphic and unsettling rape scenes in American film in the last 15 years or so. I mean that shit was hard! (So that's what killer Dad does when he's not hunting down John Connor, huh?) The wild thing is that you actually see more nudity in this movie from killer Dad's girlfriend than you do of the victim (daughter) but the scene itself is harsh. You really realize how traumatizing rape probably is and they really drive home how vicious humans can be. Now, this scene is not as cold as Monica Bellucci's scene in "Irreversible", which in my opinion is the most graphic rape scene in cinema, but its not too far off. Now, the shit gets interesting because it really takes a turn for the worst for the girls and as it turns out, the "family" is very near the house with the daughter's mom and dad and it starts to storm, so guess where they show up?
Yeah, after a carefully placed item gets noticed, the shit pops off! You already know how these types of movies are gonna go if you've seen a lot of thrillers. Unlike a lot of other recent movies, Last House On The Left actually is a thrill to watch. I think because its a hard R instead of PG-13 and that made a big difference.
Okay, now for the questions: If I go, can I take my 6, 9, 13, 15 year old? HELL NO!
Its it worth paying full admission price for?
Uh, I probably wouldn't just because its a mid-budget thriller and the acting is just "okay" but if you want to see a real R rated movie like they used to have back in the 70s/80s, this is it. As a matter of fact, its one of the most "R" rated movies I've seen this year. Its well worth the matinee price but heed my warning, if you take a female, she may get up and walk out of this one and don't expect to get no action afterward unless she has rape fantasies. There's nothing that gets a woman out of the mood like seeing another woman get violated.
This movie isn't that bad. As a matter of fact, its pretty good and stands up on its own, even though its a remake. I have a couple of personal issues with how weak Dr. Dad came off at times. I'm sick of Hollywood trying to send the subtle messages that men are weak. That shit is played out. But, fuck it. I won't go there...THIS TIME.
This shit ain't for kids and it ain't for teens either. If you go, DON'T TAKE THEM.
Its worth the dough for a matineé if you see a lot of movies. If you don't, go ahead and pay the full price. I've seen people pay more for worse.
Hollywood is starting to come around and make real R-rated cinema again. I like this trend. I'm sick of having to wait for the "unrated DVD" to see the real movie.
Peace.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Unborn
I almost didn't write a review for this shit. Its the first flick I've screened this year and it SUCKED. The best thing about this movie was Meagan Good and what the fuck is Gary Oldman doin'? Oh wait, I get it. This is David S. Goyer's flick. David wrote Batman. Gary played comissioner Gordon. Nevermind. I get the connection.
David Goyer should no be allowed to write and direct at the same time. Dude is one of those mutha fuckas who instead of being able to edit himself, instead arrogantly finds no fault with his work and tries to make it work anyway. I guess he didn't learn shit from Blade: Trinity. He fucked that series up so bad, people would literally have to "unwatch" Blade: Trinity in order to fix it. Great writer; shitty director.
Well, this is no different. Cute ass Odette Yustman starts seeing the ghost of a little boy. He starts fucking with her, appearing all over the place. Turns out its a ghost trying to be reborn. She seeks help from various sources, first with her friend who believes in ghosts (played by the sexy Meagan Good). Meagan's character was fun, funny and probably the most entertaining out of the bunch. Honestly, she was the most memorable, and not just because she's fine as hell.
She also sought advice from a Rabbi played by Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman? WTF? Sorry. That shit shocks me every time. It would have been like seeing Ben Kingsly in Cloverfield. A true "WTF" moment. (that's "what the fuck" for the dumbasses)
Anyway, the little ghost boy fucks with her, fucks with her friends and kicks up a lot of shit.
Now I don't know shit about Kabalah, or Jewish mysticism but I know the rules of an American horror flick.
Black folk must die.
White folk must find something old or chant some shit to make a ghost go away.
The main character is usually female and has to come to some grand realization at the end in order to destroy the antagonist.
Knowing that, you can say you've already seen this flick and you're just going to fill in the details, right?
Now would you go if I said, that the gratuitous nudity is very minimal and all you see is back and a little side boob from a chick built like a 12 year old boy?
Would you go if I told you that all of the "scare tactics" are "jump scares" ?
Would you go if I told you that they could show this shit on the sci-fi channel unedited?
Would you go if I told you to stay your ass at home and download the bootleg or rent the shit when it comes on DVD if you MUST see it?
Well, that's what I'm telling you. Fuck this bullshit. Unless you've been in jail for the past 15 years and haven't seen any movie at all and someone came to their senses at the last minute and hands you free tickets, do yourself a favor and pass on this shit until its on cable.
Yes, Odette looks like a granola version of Meagan Fox. You do get to see some cameltoe. Yes Meagan Good looks fine as fuck in this movie and delivers the best performance of the film (aside from Gary, of course but that's like hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer). Yes there is a scary child in it.
With all of those seeming slightly redeeming traits, this shit is just not scary unless you are 15.
Want to see a great flick? Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you can find it. Its easily one of the best flicks that came out in 2008 and is definitely worth every penny you spend to see it.
Pass on this shit altogether.
David Goyer should no be allowed to write and direct at the same time. Dude is one of those mutha fuckas who instead of being able to edit himself, instead arrogantly finds no fault with his work and tries to make it work anyway. I guess he didn't learn shit from Blade: Trinity. He fucked that series up so bad, people would literally have to "unwatch" Blade: Trinity in order to fix it. Great writer; shitty director.
Well, this is no different. Cute ass Odette Yustman starts seeing the ghost of a little boy. He starts fucking with her, appearing all over the place. Turns out its a ghost trying to be reborn. She seeks help from various sources, first with her friend who believes in ghosts (played by the sexy Meagan Good). Meagan's character was fun, funny and probably the most entertaining out of the bunch. Honestly, she was the most memorable, and not just because she's fine as hell.
She also sought advice from a Rabbi played by Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman? WTF? Sorry. That shit shocks me every time. It would have been like seeing Ben Kingsly in Cloverfield. A true "WTF" moment. (that's "what the fuck" for the dumbasses)
Anyway, the little ghost boy fucks with her, fucks with her friends and kicks up a lot of shit.
Now I don't know shit about Kabalah, or Jewish mysticism but I know the rules of an American horror flick.
Black folk must die.
White folk must find something old or chant some shit to make a ghost go away.
The main character is usually female and has to come to some grand realization at the end in order to destroy the antagonist.
Knowing that, you can say you've already seen this flick and you're just going to fill in the details, right?
Now would you go if I said, that the gratuitous nudity is very minimal and all you see is back and a little side boob from a chick built like a 12 year old boy?
Would you go if I told you that all of the "scare tactics" are "jump scares" ?
Would you go if I told you that they could show this shit on the sci-fi channel unedited?
Would you go if I told you to stay your ass at home and download the bootleg or rent the shit when it comes on DVD if you MUST see it?
Well, that's what I'm telling you. Fuck this bullshit. Unless you've been in jail for the past 15 years and haven't seen any movie at all and someone came to their senses at the last minute and hands you free tickets, do yourself a favor and pass on this shit until its on cable.
Yes, Odette looks like a granola version of Meagan Fox. You do get to see some cameltoe. Yes Meagan Good looks fine as fuck in this movie and delivers the best performance of the film (aside from Gary, of course but that's like hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer). Yes there is a scary child in it.
With all of those seeming slightly redeeming traits, this shit is just not scary unless you are 15.
Want to see a great flick? Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you can find it. Its easily one of the best flicks that came out in 2008 and is definitely worth every penny you spend to see it.
Pass on this shit altogether.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Seven Pounds
I hate that nigga Will Smif. Man, if ever there was a mutha fucka that pissed me off, its this nigga. I mean, don't you hate his running in every movie, welcome-to-earf, aw-hell-naw ass? Dude has managed to become the biggest star in Hollywood after rising from the hoods of Philly, is married to that bangin' ass Jada Pinkett (I know I'm not the only one that's wanted to hit that since 'A Different World') and to top it off, he gets to do a nude love scene with the gorgeous blilf (blatina I'd like to fuck), Rosario Dawson. What's not to hate?
Seriously, hats off to Will in this movie. "Seven Pounds" is one of the better films that I've seen this year. I think it went over a lot of peoples' heads in that it was more about emotion than events. We as American moviegoers have been accustomed to certain movie experiences and certain performances from certain actors and actresses. There is a lot of critic backlash against this movie because Will isn't playing inside the box. He acted his ass off in this flick and showed that he's not just a running action star in a very cleverly done and unconventional film..that I can't tell you anything about without giving the whole damn thing away. I could tell you what this movies is about in one sentence but it would ruin it, so I won't.
I will talk about the on-screen chemistry between Will and Rosario. DAMN! If we didn't know that Will and Jada are a happily married couple, I'd swear that he and Rosario were fucking in real life. They are magnetic on-screen together. This is a big step up from their roles in MIB II. Rosario looked more gorgeous as a sickly woman than most women do all glamed up as a movie sexpot. If you're asking yourselves right about now "does this nigga have a thing for Rosario or something?" check the earlier sentences for the answer, muh fuckas. Yeah, she's fine!!! She's also a good actress and displayed lots of nuances in her performance that I'd never seen her do. She's always had a very expressive face but I've never seen her tweak the nuances the way she did in this film. Speaking of expressive faces - Will was off the chain with it. I really like "I Am Legend" and thought he gave a command performance but he showed out in this one! Throughout the movie, you can see the pain in his face as he struggles with the decisions he is making and you can see his few moments of joy slip through in slight smiles before he angrily crushes them with his driven desire to stay "focused". Despite his inability to change his voice inflections enough to be 110% convincing, his facial expressions were on par with the silent movie actors of Old Hollywood.
Now I'm going to say something controversial and I know its gonna piss some people off but it needs to be said:
Most (NOT ALL) white folks can' understand or don't know how black people express pain.
I can tell that by some of the critics' reviews of this movie. I don't blame them completely. What examples do they have to draw from? How many of them are around enough of us to know what black pain looks like? They get glimpses here and there (thanks, Denzel) but for the most part, black people (black MEN especially) don't get to show the type of emotion that Will got the chance to express in this movie. I think that's part of why a lot of reviewers think its "stupid". They can't picture anyone other than other whites expressing themselves in that way. Had Tom Cruise or the late Heath Ledger done this same role, they would have gotten it right off and shoved an Oscar in his face and hailed it as his best work to date.
Unfortunately (for them), unless they are into black culture or have seen some Spike Lee flicks, they just can't recognize the facial expressions, vocal inflections and the mindset of a black man's pain. Hollywood has worked long and hard to make sure that they don't. (Bastards) Well, you know what? I saw it. I saw Will Smith work the shit out of the wounded man with a secret role and I saw one of the best performances of his career. I just want to say that even though critics left and right are shitting on this movie, I got it. Its about pain and sacrifice. Its abut guilt and the desire to pay penance. Its about self-loathing and wanting to escape guilt. Its about love on an ultimate level and the desire to do good at any cost. Those aren't "black" things, those are people things.
He may take a hit for this film but he should be proud of it. In this day and age, we need more movies like this and less garbage. Unfortunately, in this day of instant messaging, fast food and I-want-it-all-and-I-want-it-now, people want to customize the messenger to fit the message.
If this movie was made in another country or with another, less attractive, less rich, less popular actor, it would be up for a ton of Oscars and hailed by critics. It probably won't be. Why? Because America hates you when you lose but resents you when you're on top. What a dichotomy, huh? Catch 22 like a mutha fucka. Fuck it. Take the money and run, Will. And when you get those big ass Hancock checks, keep droppin' joints like this one to let people know what time it really is with you. Good work, my nigga.
If y'all haven't gone to the theater to see this or downloaded the screener yet, you need to peep this joint. Be warned, its not exactly the most upbeat film of the year, so don't go expecting Hitch 2 or some shit. This is serious business and for the most part, its for the grown folks only. It takes some emotional maturity to understand what they were trying to convey in this film. The kids will just say "Its boring and it sucks" but not understand why - like some of these bullshit critics that hate to see a brotha come up in the game. Fuck em. Put those fools on "ig" (that's "ignore" for the vernacularly handicapped) and fuck with this joint. Even if you don't like it, call it your cultural/artistic indulgence for the year. Seriously. Its good shit. Don't sleep on it.
Joke:
It would help to be over 30, black and have seen this movie to get it:
A man goes into a restaurant and orders the fish special. A couple of minutes later he falls to the floor twitching violently and passes out.
Another customer says to the waiter "What the hell did he order?"
The waiter looks at him and says "It must be jelly cause jam don't shake like that"
Yeah, corny but I couldn't think of any jellyfish jokes. Fuck it.
Seriously, hats off to Will in this movie. "Seven Pounds" is one of the better films that I've seen this year. I think it went over a lot of peoples' heads in that it was more about emotion than events. We as American moviegoers have been accustomed to certain movie experiences and certain performances from certain actors and actresses. There is a lot of critic backlash against this movie because Will isn't playing inside the box. He acted his ass off in this flick and showed that he's not just a running action star in a very cleverly done and unconventional film..that I can't tell you anything about without giving the whole damn thing away. I could tell you what this movies is about in one sentence but it would ruin it, so I won't.
I will talk about the on-screen chemistry between Will and Rosario. DAMN! If we didn't know that Will and Jada are a happily married couple, I'd swear that he and Rosario were fucking in real life. They are magnetic on-screen together. This is a big step up from their roles in MIB II. Rosario looked more gorgeous as a sickly woman than most women do all glamed up as a movie sexpot. If you're asking yourselves right about now "does this nigga have a thing for Rosario or something?" check the earlier sentences for the answer, muh fuckas. Yeah, she's fine!!! She's also a good actress and displayed lots of nuances in her performance that I'd never seen her do. She's always had a very expressive face but I've never seen her tweak the nuances the way she did in this film. Speaking of expressive faces - Will was off the chain with it. I really like "I Am Legend" and thought he gave a command performance but he showed out in this one! Throughout the movie, you can see the pain in his face as he struggles with the decisions he is making and you can see his few moments of joy slip through in slight smiles before he angrily crushes them with his driven desire to stay "focused". Despite his inability to change his voice inflections enough to be 110% convincing, his facial expressions were on par with the silent movie actors of Old Hollywood.
Now I'm going to say something controversial and I know its gonna piss some people off but it needs to be said:
Most (NOT ALL) white folks can' understand or don't know how black people express pain.
I can tell that by some of the critics' reviews of this movie. I don't blame them completely. What examples do they have to draw from? How many of them are around enough of us to know what black pain looks like? They get glimpses here and there (thanks, Denzel) but for the most part, black people (black MEN especially) don't get to show the type of emotion that Will got the chance to express in this movie. I think that's part of why a lot of reviewers think its "stupid". They can't picture anyone other than other whites expressing themselves in that way. Had Tom Cruise or the late Heath Ledger done this same role, they would have gotten it right off and shoved an Oscar in his face and hailed it as his best work to date.
Unfortunately (for them), unless they are into black culture or have seen some Spike Lee flicks, they just can't recognize the facial expressions, vocal inflections and the mindset of a black man's pain. Hollywood has worked long and hard to make sure that they don't. (Bastards) Well, you know what? I saw it. I saw Will Smith work the shit out of the wounded man with a secret role and I saw one of the best performances of his career. I just want to say that even though critics left and right are shitting on this movie, I got it. Its about pain and sacrifice. Its abut guilt and the desire to pay penance. Its about self-loathing and wanting to escape guilt. Its about love on an ultimate level and the desire to do good at any cost. Those aren't "black" things, those are people things.
He may take a hit for this film but he should be proud of it. In this day and age, we need more movies like this and less garbage. Unfortunately, in this day of instant messaging, fast food and I-want-it-all-and-I-want-it-now, people want to customize the messenger to fit the message.
If this movie was made in another country or with another, less attractive, less rich, less popular actor, it would be up for a ton of Oscars and hailed by critics. It probably won't be. Why? Because America hates you when you lose but resents you when you're on top. What a dichotomy, huh? Catch 22 like a mutha fucka. Fuck it. Take the money and run, Will. And when you get those big ass Hancock checks, keep droppin' joints like this one to let people know what time it really is with you. Good work, my nigga.
If y'all haven't gone to the theater to see this or downloaded the screener yet, you need to peep this joint. Be warned, its not exactly the most upbeat film of the year, so don't go expecting Hitch 2 or some shit. This is serious business and for the most part, its for the grown folks only. It takes some emotional maturity to understand what they were trying to convey in this film. The kids will just say "Its boring and it sucks" but not understand why - like some of these bullshit critics that hate to see a brotha come up in the game. Fuck em. Put those fools on "ig" (that's "ignore" for the vernacularly handicapped) and fuck with this joint. Even if you don't like it, call it your cultural/artistic indulgence for the year. Seriously. Its good shit. Don't sleep on it.
Joke:
It would help to be over 30, black and have seen this movie to get it:
A man goes into a restaurant and orders the fish special. A couple of minutes later he falls to the floor twitching violently and passes out.
Another customer says to the waiter "What the hell did he order?"
The waiter looks at him and says "It must be jelly cause jam don't shake like that"
Yeah, corny but I couldn't think of any jellyfish jokes. Fuck it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Transporter 3
What if someone asked you what you do for a living and you said "I drive shit around, fuck fine ass chicks and kick muther fuckers' asses if they get in my way, especially if they fuck with my suit!" Cool ass job, huh?
Well, Frank is back doing what he usually does; kicking ass and dropping shit off. This time he has a Ukrainian chick to keep him occupied as well. What is it with Ukrainian chicks lately? Is Ukrainian the new Asian?
Olga Kurylenko (Hitman, Quantum Of Solace), Mila Kunis (Max Payne) and now Natalya Rudakova plays a chick named Valentina in this movie. Is the industry is putting out feelers for the new Mila Jovovich (Resident Evil series)? Looks like East Bloc bitches rock! I ain't mad at 'em. Have you seen their Prime Minister? Yulia Tymoshenko? Gawd damn! Fuck a Sarah Palin, they elected a hottie.
There's not a lot to tell you about this movie other than you get exactly what you expect. If you have seen Transporter 1 and 2 then you know what's coming. Its shot a little sleeker. The music is a little more hip. The car scenes are a bit less impressive (with the exception of one) but the fight scenes are damn good. If you haven't seen one and two then WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Don't see T3 if you haven't seen the first two. That's just dumb. No, it doesn't tie in with the first two. They just expect that you already know who Frank Martin is and what he does. Overall, its a good time killer. Typical of the Transporter movies only with slightly better cinematography. No, its not better than the first one. Yeah, its a little better than the second. If you like the transporter series, it stands to reason that you will like this one.
Unlike How Quantum Of Solace shitted on the James Bond series by not really being a decent espionage film, this is definitely a "Transporter" film. The plot is a little more transparent but who the hell goes to see a Transporter movie for the plot? Oh, and I don't give a shit what anyone says, Jason Statham would have been perfect in "Hitman". Yeah, bitches. Perfect. I can't wait till Crank 2 drops. That shit's gonna be off the hook! This is a good matinee in the meantime. Who are you kidding? You know you're going to see "Twilight" this weekend, aren't you? Yep.
Well, Frank is back doing what he usually does; kicking ass and dropping shit off. This time he has a Ukrainian chick to keep him occupied as well. What is it with Ukrainian chicks lately? Is Ukrainian the new Asian?
Olga Kurylenko (Hitman, Quantum Of Solace), Mila Kunis (Max Payne) and now Natalya Rudakova plays a chick named Valentina in this movie. Is the industry is putting out feelers for the new Mila Jovovich (Resident Evil series)? Looks like East Bloc bitches rock! I ain't mad at 'em. Have you seen their Prime Minister? Yulia Tymoshenko? Gawd damn! Fuck a Sarah Palin, they elected a hottie.
There's not a lot to tell you about this movie other than you get exactly what you expect. If you have seen Transporter 1 and 2 then you know what's coming. Its shot a little sleeker. The music is a little more hip. The car scenes are a bit less impressive (with the exception of one) but the fight scenes are damn good. If you haven't seen one and two then WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Don't see T3 if you haven't seen the first two. That's just dumb. No, it doesn't tie in with the first two. They just expect that you already know who Frank Martin is and what he does. Overall, its a good time killer. Typical of the Transporter movies only with slightly better cinematography. No, its not better than the first one. Yeah, its a little better than the second. If you like the transporter series, it stands to reason that you will like this one.
Unlike How Quantum Of Solace shitted on the James Bond series by not really being a decent espionage film, this is definitely a "Transporter" film. The plot is a little more transparent but who the hell goes to see a Transporter movie for the plot? Oh, and I don't give a shit what anyone says, Jason Statham would have been perfect in "Hitman". Yeah, bitches. Perfect. I can't wait till Crank 2 drops. That shit's gonna be off the hook! This is a good matinee in the meantime. Who are you kidding? You know you're going to see "Twilight" this weekend, aren't you? Yep.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Pride and Glory
You can always tell when its Oscar season. Mofos start pullin' out the big guns. Pride and Glory is a crime drama that definitely comes out blasting in terms of performances. Before I start, just let me say this: sometimes you can see the plot lines Hollywood has for its Oscars. This year, my prediction is that John Voight and his daughter, Angelina Jolie, with BOTH be nominated for Oscars. I missed my screener for The Changeling but everybody I talked to that saw it said that this movie was great and Angelina is going to get an Oscar nomination for this. I rarely hear that from a wide range of people with different tastes in movies, so even though I don't know, I'm just gonna roll with it and predict that shit on the strength. What I do know is that John Voight kicked some major dramatic ass in his performance in this movie. Another Oscar nod will go to Ed Norton. (Does he ever do poorly in a role?) Even though I was unfamiliar with this dude - Noah Emmerich - I can safely say that his career is about to jump off because he was off the hook as well. This movie also pleased people like me who are not huge Colin Ferrell fans. You only had to deal with him in doses. As a matter of fact, this movie didn't have any bad acting in it (even though Colin never seems to be able to shake his accent - and probably never tries to). The performances were top notch.
In case you hadn't figured it out from the trailers, this is basically a movie about police corruption. John Voight is the head of a family of cops - Noah is the oldest brother and the CO, Ed Norton is the "thinker" who's destined to be detective and rise through the ranks like his father did and Colin is...guess...the "bad boy" brother-in-law of the family? Maybe.
The story kicks off with four cops getting iced trying to bust a drug dealer. Noah (Francis Jr.) finds out that all of his buddies got fucked up trying to catch this dude named Angel Tezo. Its there where you learn who is who in the movie. John Voight (Francis Sr.) asks Ed Norton (Ray) to head the task force on the investigation. This uncovers a scandal involving a ring of bad cops who have been murdering for hire and dealing on the side as well as robbing and all of the shit criminals do. This movie serves as a backdrop for the acting. The story line is not new and you can probably predict the ending. With that in mind, I'd have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The acting is on point. Also, this movie touches on something that not every film deals with. There is a nice combination of showing what's going on and how the media interprets it and how the masses perceive it.
To a small degree, this movie is sensitive to the struggles of cops and what they have to go through. What I found kinda funny and cool was that the cops in the movie all had very different looking wives and girlfriends. One cop had an Asian wife, Ed was going through a divorce from the beautiful Camen Ejogo (I know her from The Sally Hemings movie, "Boycott" where she was Coretta Scott King, and from "Lackawanna Blues"). Colin's wife looked Jewish, Noah's wife was white although she had no hair because she had cancer, and John Voight's wife looked Italian. It gave a variance in perception of them.
Now, while I had no real problems with the movie, I thought there was a little bit of miscasting. I'm talking about Rick Gonzalez. He plays one of the higher-up drug dealers in the city; I think he was Angel Tezo's rival. I'm sorry but Ben from Reaper ain't runnin' SHIT! While I think dude is a pretty good actor (rent/download "Illegal Tender", its a damn good flick), there's nobody that can convince me that this pretty mutha fucka is a boss on the streets. It would be like if Prince had actually taken the role he was offered in Michael Jackson's "Bad" video as the tough gang leader. I just wasn't buying it. "Who's bad?" Not this skinny ass nuggaha! His performance was cool and its good to see homeboy workin' but...really. That mutha fucka would be a jailhouse bitch. No way any real street niggas would let El DeBarge Jr. run shit on the streets.
Speaking of pussies, gawd damn, gawd damn! Keep your eyes open for this chick named Raquel Jordan! In this flick, she plays The strung out girlfriend of Angel Tezo (played by Ramon Rodriguez). Man, if there was ever a campaign for heroin or crack addict pussy, she would be the poster child! Even though most of the time she looked ravaged from abuse and drug use, she was still bangin'! You know I have to mention the dimes in the movie! Remember when I told y'all to watch for Debra Nascimento in the Hulk? Aight, then.
While this is not the best movie I've seen this year or anything like that, I have to say the acting is good. Its character-driven, so the people are more important than the story. Ed acted his ass off in this as did John Voight. The performances were damn good all around. The story has been done. The cinematography is very blue . The whole movie has a blue tint to it. Blue = cops? Maybe. Don't know, don't care. It looked pretty cool.
Now this joint is long. The movie had to be about 2 1/2 hours. If you've got to piss, don't try to hold out till the end of the movie. I heard that the Angelina flick, "The Changeling" was long like that, too. Tis the season and Oscars are the reason.
I say fuck with this if you like crime dramas or Ed Norton. While there is some action it in, it is not an action flick. Cops will like this flick. There's not much nudity. I think Raquel Jordan showed some flesh but it was so quick I don't remember. This is not one for the family. There is nothing for kids in this movie and there's a particular scene with a baby and an iron that's rather disturbing. It would probably shake a child up.
Matinee this mutha fucka or wait for the DVD. Its really a good joint to watch at the house with some friends. That way you can pause this shit when you need to pee.
Peace.
In case you hadn't figured it out from the trailers, this is basically a movie about police corruption. John Voight is the head of a family of cops - Noah is the oldest brother and the CO, Ed Norton is the "thinker" who's destined to be detective and rise through the ranks like his father did and Colin is...guess...the "bad boy" brother-in-law of the family? Maybe.
The story kicks off with four cops getting iced trying to bust a drug dealer. Noah (Francis Jr.) finds out that all of his buddies got fucked up trying to catch this dude named Angel Tezo. Its there where you learn who is who in the movie. John Voight (Francis Sr.) asks Ed Norton (Ray) to head the task force on the investigation. This uncovers a scandal involving a ring of bad cops who have been murdering for hire and dealing on the side as well as robbing and all of the shit criminals do. This movie serves as a backdrop for the acting. The story line is not new and you can probably predict the ending. With that in mind, I'd have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The acting is on point. Also, this movie touches on something that not every film deals with. There is a nice combination of showing what's going on and how the media interprets it and how the masses perceive it.
To a small degree, this movie is sensitive to the struggles of cops and what they have to go through. What I found kinda funny and cool was that the cops in the movie all had very different looking wives and girlfriends. One cop had an Asian wife, Ed was going through a divorce from the beautiful Camen Ejogo (I know her from The Sally Hemings movie, "Boycott" where she was Coretta Scott King, and from "Lackawanna Blues"). Colin's wife looked Jewish, Noah's wife was white although she had no hair because she had cancer, and John Voight's wife looked Italian. It gave a variance in perception of them.
Now, while I had no real problems with the movie, I thought there was a little bit of miscasting. I'm talking about Rick Gonzalez. He plays one of the higher-up drug dealers in the city; I think he was Angel Tezo's rival. I'm sorry but Ben from Reaper ain't runnin' SHIT! While I think dude is a pretty good actor (rent/download "Illegal Tender", its a damn good flick), there's nobody that can convince me that this pretty mutha fucka is a boss on the streets. It would be like if Prince had actually taken the role he was offered in Michael Jackson's "Bad" video as the tough gang leader. I just wasn't buying it. "Who's bad?" Not this skinny ass nuggaha! His performance was cool and its good to see homeboy workin' but...really. That mutha fucka would be a jailhouse bitch. No way any real street niggas would let El DeBarge Jr. run shit on the streets.
Speaking of pussies, gawd damn, gawd damn! Keep your eyes open for this chick named Raquel Jordan! In this flick, she plays The strung out girlfriend of Angel Tezo (played by Ramon Rodriguez). Man, if there was ever a campaign for heroin or crack addict pussy, she would be the poster child! Even though most of the time she looked ravaged from abuse and drug use, she was still bangin'! You know I have to mention the dimes in the movie! Remember when I told y'all to watch for Debra Nascimento in the Hulk? Aight, then.
While this is not the best movie I've seen this year or anything like that, I have to say the acting is good. Its character-driven, so the people are more important than the story. Ed acted his ass off in this as did John Voight. The performances were damn good all around. The story has been done. The cinematography is very blue . The whole movie has a blue tint to it. Blue = cops? Maybe. Don't know, don't care. It looked pretty cool.
Now this joint is long. The movie had to be about 2 1/2 hours. If you've got to piss, don't try to hold out till the end of the movie. I heard that the Angelina flick, "The Changeling" was long like that, too. Tis the season and Oscars are the reason.
I say fuck with this if you like crime dramas or Ed Norton. While there is some action it in, it is not an action flick. Cops will like this flick. There's not much nudity. I think Raquel Jordan showed some flesh but it was so quick I don't remember. This is not one for the family. There is nothing for kids in this movie and there's a particular scene with a baby and an iron that's rather disturbing. It would probably shake a child up.
Matinee this mutha fucka or wait for the DVD. Its really a good joint to watch at the house with some friends. That way you can pause this shit when you need to pee.
Peace.
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
The first thing that strikes one about this movie is the title. Obviously a play off the famous book "How To Win Friends And Influence People", this romantic comedy follows the life of Sidney Young (Simon Pegg) as he goes from being a goofy owner of a small magazine to becoming a big time journalist for a major magazine run by Jeff Bridges. Along the way, he encounters a woman named Allison (played by Kirsten Dunst) who helps him pursue his dreamgirl, the newest hottie in Hollywood - Sophie Maes (played by the newest hottie in Hollywood - Meagan Fox). Simon puts his own spin on a story you've seen hundreds of times before and it turned out to be pretty funny.
The flick has some cool ass cameos and of course has a little "trailer" when the credits are running. The whole movie is sprinkled with Pegg's offbeat British sense of humor and the cast did extremely well playing off one another.
Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox! Gawd damn, gawd damn! Meagan is one of the baddest chicks in Hollywood - no bullshit. I didn't see it in Transformers but you can damn sure see it in this movie. While there are no nude scenes, she looks "gooder than a muther fucker" in this joint! Her role is a new, flighty, almost naive starlet who Simon meets when he starts his job at Jeff Bridges's magazine. Gillian Anderson did a good job playing her publicist. Anyone who has seen Gillian in interviews knows that she is silly as fuck, so its always fun to see her in the stiff roles like Skully and this one where she plays a very Hollywood "bitch" type.
In making this film, they covered a couple of things that most movies don't usually touch - coke use and gay Jews. Of course Simon had to have ad-libbed on some of those parts. They were too classic! The film itself uses the typical romantic comedy to examine all of the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. All of the smoozing and the parties and the open coke use (they don't dwell on it but they do cover it).
I know this movie wasn't written by Simon but I bet he did a lot of re-writes on the script because it was full of "Pegg-isms" that will have you rolling on the floor if you see it. I know it may seem like I haven't said much about the flick. That's because you have seen this movie in many, many, many other movies before.
If you like Simon Pegg, you should see it. If you like Meagan Fox, you should definitely see it. If you like laughing at the pretentious foolishness of Hollywood, you should damn sure see this movie.
In my opinion, this movie was only missing three things:
Nick Frost (Simon's chubby buddy)
Nudity
Zombies!!!
Sorry, no nude shots of Meagan, although she's bangin' in almost every scene she's in. She has a hot ass underwear scene for what that's worth. Kristen did a decent job on her role, but I'd say if any of you thought she was attractive before, you'll be putting the last nail in that coffin. She looks pretty raggedy these days. Fuck it, she's paid. I ain't hatin'.
While I don't normally fuck with movies like this without being coerced into doing so, I have to say I enjoyed this joint. It glides along playfully and doesn't get dry. Simon keeps it going from scene to scene. I'm sure its PG-13, so you can take the old lady to it and she won't be trippin' about a bunch of naked hoes (unfortunately).
If you like Simon, you'll probably like this flick. I gotta thumbs up this one. Its definitely worth a matineé. Its a good movie to take a date to. I'd even say catch the bootleg when it drops this weekend.
If you had a shitty week and you need a good laugh, fuck wit it.
Peace.
The flick has some cool ass cameos and of course has a little "trailer" when the credits are running. The whole movie is sprinkled with Pegg's offbeat British sense of humor and the cast did extremely well playing off one another.
Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox! Gawd damn, gawd damn! Meagan is one of the baddest chicks in Hollywood - no bullshit. I didn't see it in Transformers but you can damn sure see it in this movie. While there are no nude scenes, she looks "gooder than a muther fucker" in this joint! Her role is a new, flighty, almost naive starlet who Simon meets when he starts his job at Jeff Bridges's magazine. Gillian Anderson did a good job playing her publicist. Anyone who has seen Gillian in interviews knows that she is silly as fuck, so its always fun to see her in the stiff roles like Skully and this one where she plays a very Hollywood "bitch" type.
In making this film, they covered a couple of things that most movies don't usually touch - coke use and gay Jews. Of course Simon had to have ad-libbed on some of those parts. They were too classic! The film itself uses the typical romantic comedy to examine all of the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. All of the smoozing and the parties and the open coke use (they don't dwell on it but they do cover it).
I know this movie wasn't written by Simon but I bet he did a lot of re-writes on the script because it was full of "Pegg-isms" that will have you rolling on the floor if you see it. I know it may seem like I haven't said much about the flick. That's because you have seen this movie in many, many, many other movies before.
If you like Simon Pegg, you should see it. If you like Meagan Fox, you should definitely see it. If you like laughing at the pretentious foolishness of Hollywood, you should damn sure see this movie.
In my opinion, this movie was only missing three things:
Nick Frost (Simon's chubby buddy)
Nudity
Zombies!!!
Sorry, no nude shots of Meagan, although she's bangin' in almost every scene she's in. She has a hot ass underwear scene for what that's worth. Kristen did a decent job on her role, but I'd say if any of you thought she was attractive before, you'll be putting the last nail in that coffin. She looks pretty raggedy these days. Fuck it, she's paid. I ain't hatin'.
While I don't normally fuck with movies like this without being coerced into doing so, I have to say I enjoyed this joint. It glides along playfully and doesn't get dry. Simon keeps it going from scene to scene. I'm sure its PG-13, so you can take the old lady to it and she won't be trippin' about a bunch of naked hoes (unfortunately).
If you like Simon, you'll probably like this flick. I gotta thumbs up this one. Its definitely worth a matineé. Its a good movie to take a date to. I'd even say catch the bootleg when it drops this weekend.
If you had a shitty week and you need a good laugh, fuck wit it.
Peace.
The Incredible Hulk
What's the fastest way to get from point A to point B? A straight line. Well, I think the director thought the same thing. This movie is called a "reboot" and it is just that. They wasted no time getting right down to the point in that they showed you the Hulk's origin while the opening credits are running in the form of pictures and blurred memory flashes of Bruce Banner. Fuck the dumb shit; get to the story - just the way the audience likes it. Most everybody saw the first one by now; no need to fuck around. The story then takes you to Bruce living in Brazil, and not the nice part where everyone is partying. The fuckin' flavelas. He's working in a bottling company that bottles sodas and is communicating with someone named Mr. Blue who is trying to help him find a cure (surprise, surprise). After an accidental cut on his finger that leads the American government and General Ross to his location, he Hulks up, dukes it out with a few soldiers and bolts. Of course he finds himself back to Betty Ross, who is dating a doctor - last name: Samson. Hulk comic book fans will know who he is. I would go into more of the plot but what's the point? You know how these things go. People fuck with Bruce, he gets pissed, Hulks up, kicks ass and powers down half naked in some strange ass place. A good Christmas gift for Bruce Banner - Rosetta Stone with all of the language packs. Also, unlike the first film, you get a true sense of the dichotomy of the Hulk. The tortured soul craving for a normal life really comes though in this film. So, let's get down to the questions people really have:
Is it better than the first one? YES.
Is the CGI better? Of course.
Can Edward Norton pull off the role? He did. I don't think Eric Bana did a bad job as the Hulk, I thought it was a shitty script, which brings us to the next question:
Was the story line better? Yes. They also had better settings and a decent antagonist for Hulk to fight. That helped a lot.
Does the CGI look real? No. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like a game. A really, really good game. The Hulk doesn't look real but the interaction with the real people is done in such a way that it blends so well you are able to suspend disbelief, as it should be when something is well done.
Who's hotter as Betty Ross? Jennifer Connelly '03 or Liv Tyler '08? Connelly kicked Liv's ass as Betty Ross. Though they both look like Betty, Liv at NO POINT IN THIS MOVIE convinced me for one second that she was Dr. Elisabeth Ross. Jennifer was easily able to pull off the smart girl role. Liv ain't that bright in real life and it shows in her acting. In my opinion, she was the worst thing in the movie. They should have tried for Anne Hathaway or just recast Jennifer Connelly. Tim Roth on the other hand was damn good as Blonsky.
Were there lots of cameos? Yes, and they were all cool and well placed.
Any scenes after the credits? Not this time. (at least not at the screener) Don't leave early, though. The last scene is cool.
Is this worth the money to go see? I'd have to say yes. Ed Norton did well and like the new James Bond, even though he's not somebody you'd expect to play the role, he does a good job with it.
They did a great job of conveying the loneliness that comes with being the Hulk in the script and the scenes and the pace were good. Its on par with Iron Man. If they are going to start doing superhero movies this way, count me in for the next few. Amazon.com would say "If you liked Iron Man you may like the following movie" I'd put money on it but understand that there is a lot more CGI in this than what is noticeable in Iron Man. That makes it seem more "fantasy like" . Don't worry, its still good.
Can I take the wife/girlfriend and kids? Its the Hulk; what the hell do you think?
Lots of action? Hmmm. Sort of. The fight scenes are off the hook and way more explosive and graphic than in the first Hulk movie. Still, this Hulk seems a little less powerful than the one from the first movie. I can't explain it but he just does. He seems less likely to run around a canyon. Still, the action scenes that are there are off the gawd damn hook and way better than the first movie.
In conclusion, if I didn't already see it for free, I'd still fuck with it. I say matinee it. Not because its not worth the full price but because gas is so damn high you've got to cut corners somewhere.
Here, fuck with a free popcorn with the purchase of a drink:
http://www.moviewatcher.com/servlet/user-controller/coupon?coupon=mwpopcorn
That's an AMC theater coupon. Don't say I never gave yo asses nothin'.
Is it better than the first one? YES.
Is the CGI better? Of course.
Can Edward Norton pull off the role? He did. I don't think Eric Bana did a bad job as the Hulk, I thought it was a shitty script, which brings us to the next question:
Was the story line better? Yes. They also had better settings and a decent antagonist for Hulk to fight. That helped a lot.
Does the CGI look real? No. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like a game. A really, really good game. The Hulk doesn't look real but the interaction with the real people is done in such a way that it blends so well you are able to suspend disbelief, as it should be when something is well done.
Who's hotter as Betty Ross? Jennifer Connelly '03 or Liv Tyler '08? Connelly kicked Liv's ass as Betty Ross. Though they both look like Betty, Liv at NO POINT IN THIS MOVIE convinced me for one second that she was Dr. Elisabeth Ross. Jennifer was easily able to pull off the smart girl role. Liv ain't that bright in real life and it shows in her acting. In my opinion, she was the worst thing in the movie. They should have tried for Anne Hathaway or just recast Jennifer Connelly. Tim Roth on the other hand was damn good as Blonsky.
Were there lots of cameos? Yes, and they were all cool and well placed.
Any scenes after the credits? Not this time. (at least not at the screener) Don't leave early, though. The last scene is cool.
Is this worth the money to go see? I'd have to say yes. Ed Norton did well and like the new James Bond, even though he's not somebody you'd expect to play the role, he does a good job with it.
They did a great job of conveying the loneliness that comes with being the Hulk in the script and the scenes and the pace were good. Its on par with Iron Man. If they are going to start doing superhero movies this way, count me in for the next few. Amazon.com would say "If you liked Iron Man you may like the following movie" I'd put money on it but understand that there is a lot more CGI in this than what is noticeable in Iron Man. That makes it seem more "fantasy like" . Don't worry, its still good.
Can I take the wife/girlfriend and kids? Its the Hulk; what the hell do you think?
Lots of action? Hmmm. Sort of. The fight scenes are off the hook and way more explosive and graphic than in the first Hulk movie. Still, this Hulk seems a little less powerful than the one from the first movie. I can't explain it but he just does. He seems less likely to run around a canyon. Still, the action scenes that are there are off the gawd damn hook and way better than the first movie.
In conclusion, if I didn't already see it for free, I'd still fuck with it. I say matinee it. Not because its not worth the full price but because gas is so damn high you've got to cut corners somewhere.
Here, fuck with a free popcorn with the purchase of a drink:
http://www.moviewatcher.com/servlet/user-controller/coupon?coupon=mwpopcorn
That's an AMC theater coupon. Don't say I never gave yo asses nothin'.
Get Smart vs. Wanted
Which one to see, which one to see?
In one corner, weighing in at about 110 minutes is Wanted, starring the fuckin' faun from the Chronicles of Narnia, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie.
In another corner, weighing in at about 2 hours is Get Smart, a movie remake of an old television show starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway...and Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson.
While I could give a full blow-by-blow on "Get Smart", I can't say jack shit about "Wanted" without giving away something, so I'm doin' it like this:
These two fighters are fairly well matched for a shot at being the top weekend warrior. Get Smart is smart, funny and has lots of references to the old show without being so overly-indulgent that you would have had to see every episode of the t.v. series to get the movie.
Wanted is action packed with over-the-top violence (think "Shoot Em Up") thats sure to fill any adrenaline junky's fix for the weekend.
McAvoy works in accounting services. Carell is an intel agent but more of a nerd than McAvoy.
Jolie is a hot bitch who kills people. Hathaway is a hot bitch who kills people.
One is a PG-13 comedy that takes the old school route of developing a complex plot for a comedy that requires a bit of thinking but keeps you laughing even though its a little less comedic than you might expect it to be.
The other is an R-rated action flick with completely IMPOSSIBLE SHIT that might make you laugh AT IT instead of with it at times but is geared towards a male audience. Its got guns, killing and Angelina Jolie.
Get Smart has a plot twist. Wanted has...you guessed it...a plot twist.
Get Smart has fast ass cars. Wanted has fast ass cars that flip.
Get Smart has a cool ass brotha in it named Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson. "Wanted" has a cool as brotha in it named Common.
Get Smart has gadgets and cool ass James Bond shit. Wanted has bullets that curve, break away and throw the physics of bullets completely out of the window.
Fuck with Get Smart if you are seeking comedy relief, fairly good acting, star cameos with some action in it and long for the old days where the good guy gets the bad guy without being a fucked up wreck at the end.
Fuck with Wanted if you want to see some off the wall assassin shit where a young mutha fucka with a fucked up life, a boring job and dirty whore of a girlfriend grows into a killing machine and wrecks shit with a fine bitch by his side for about an hour. So, in conclusion you have two decent contenders (Fuck the Love Guru) dukin' it out for the crown this weekend. If I had to pay full price, I have to give the edge to "Get Smart". It was a "smarter" movie and even though it had a couple of ridiculous scenes, I thought it made for a better bang-for-your-buck movie. "Wanted" is pure flash and adrenaline. To be honest, I'd pay matinee prices just to hear Morgan Freeman say "Mutha Fucka" again! I almost forgot that "Easy Reader" was also Fast Black from "Street Smart". Still, if you have any great expectations for a spectacular plot line, you will leave "Wanted" pissed off. It ain't that deep. Really. Oh, it TRIED to be but...well...
"Get Smart" has more going on in the story and even though its a comedy, its still an espionage movie with a James Bond feel to it. Anne Hathaway did a damn good job in this movie as she shifted her acting style according to how her character (Agent 99) interacted with Agent 86. That's tricky to do. I was wrong about her being right for the Hulk as Betty Ross - she's overqualified for that role. Liv still can't act "smart" to save her life but I'm not gonna dwell on that shit.
You can take the kids to see Get Smart. I wouldn't take them to see Wanted if they are real young because of the assassinations. Its crazy "bullet-time" shit in this movie! Crazy shit. That's also why I'd have to say matinee that bitch if you go see it. Look at it like this:
Get Smart is a date. Wanted is a jump-off. You will get your nut at the end of Wanted but then you'd wanna kick that bitch out. With Get Smart, you'd want to take that chick to breakfast or at least let her sleep over.
If you didn't like Shoot Em Up, you probably won't like Wanted.
If you didn't like Mel Brooks style comedy, you probably won't like Get Smart.
If you don't like spending money, you probably won't like either one of these flicks because going to the movies is getting expensive as hell these days when you have to drive and pay for parking. Is anyone's fight at this point, but my money is on "Get Smart" - its like "Casino Royale" with funny. It will also win out in rewatch value (i.e. DVD sales). "Wanted" is cool but its like "Shoot Em Up", "Hitman" or "Crank"; if you expect anything more than fast-paced action then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. ONLY SEE "WANTED" IF YOU ARE IN THE MOOD FOR ACTION.
You've been warned. Oh - just in case you're wondering, no sex scenes in either movie and you only get a backshot of Angelina getting out of water in Wanted.
The women are teasing instead of pleasing this summer.
In one corner, weighing in at about 110 minutes is Wanted, starring the fuckin' faun from the Chronicles of Narnia, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie.
In another corner, weighing in at about 2 hours is Get Smart, a movie remake of an old television show starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway...and Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson.
While I could give a full blow-by-blow on "Get Smart", I can't say jack shit about "Wanted" without giving away something, so I'm doin' it like this:
These two fighters are fairly well matched for a shot at being the top weekend warrior. Get Smart is smart, funny and has lots of references to the old show without being so overly-indulgent that you would have had to see every episode of the t.v. series to get the movie.
Wanted is action packed with over-the-top violence (think "Shoot Em Up") thats sure to fill any adrenaline junky's fix for the weekend.
McAvoy works in accounting services. Carell is an intel agent but more of a nerd than McAvoy.
Jolie is a hot bitch who kills people. Hathaway is a hot bitch who kills people.
One is a PG-13 comedy that takes the old school route of developing a complex plot for a comedy that requires a bit of thinking but keeps you laughing even though its a little less comedic than you might expect it to be.
The other is an R-rated action flick with completely IMPOSSIBLE SHIT that might make you laugh AT IT instead of with it at times but is geared towards a male audience. Its got guns, killing and Angelina Jolie.
Get Smart has a plot twist. Wanted has...you guessed it...a plot twist.
Get Smart has fast ass cars. Wanted has fast ass cars that flip.
Get Smart has a cool ass brotha in it named Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson. "Wanted" has a cool as brotha in it named Common.
Get Smart has gadgets and cool ass James Bond shit. Wanted has bullets that curve, break away and throw the physics of bullets completely out of the window.
Fuck with Get Smart if you are seeking comedy relief, fairly good acting, star cameos with some action in it and long for the old days where the good guy gets the bad guy without being a fucked up wreck at the end.
Fuck with Wanted if you want to see some off the wall assassin shit where a young mutha fucka with a fucked up life, a boring job and dirty whore of a girlfriend grows into a killing machine and wrecks shit with a fine bitch by his side for about an hour. So, in conclusion you have two decent contenders (Fuck the Love Guru) dukin' it out for the crown this weekend. If I had to pay full price, I have to give the edge to "Get Smart". It was a "smarter" movie and even though it had a couple of ridiculous scenes, I thought it made for a better bang-for-your-buck movie. "Wanted" is pure flash and adrenaline. To be honest, I'd pay matinee prices just to hear Morgan Freeman say "Mutha Fucka" again! I almost forgot that "Easy Reader" was also Fast Black from "Street Smart". Still, if you have any great expectations for a spectacular plot line, you will leave "Wanted" pissed off. It ain't that deep. Really. Oh, it TRIED to be but...well...
"Get Smart" has more going on in the story and even though its a comedy, its still an espionage movie with a James Bond feel to it. Anne Hathaway did a damn good job in this movie as she shifted her acting style according to how her character (Agent 99) interacted with Agent 86. That's tricky to do. I was wrong about her being right for the Hulk as Betty Ross - she's overqualified for that role. Liv still can't act "smart" to save her life but I'm not gonna dwell on that shit.
You can take the kids to see Get Smart. I wouldn't take them to see Wanted if they are real young because of the assassinations. Its crazy "bullet-time" shit in this movie! Crazy shit. That's also why I'd have to say matinee that bitch if you go see it. Look at it like this:
Get Smart is a date. Wanted is a jump-off. You will get your nut at the end of Wanted but then you'd wanna kick that bitch out. With Get Smart, you'd want to take that chick to breakfast or at least let her sleep over.
If you didn't like Shoot Em Up, you probably won't like Wanted.
If you didn't like Mel Brooks style comedy, you probably won't like Get Smart.
If you don't like spending money, you probably won't like either one of these flicks because going to the movies is getting expensive as hell these days when you have to drive and pay for parking. Is anyone's fight at this point, but my money is on "Get Smart" - its like "Casino Royale" with funny. It will also win out in rewatch value (i.e. DVD sales). "Wanted" is cool but its like "Shoot Em Up", "Hitman" or "Crank"; if you expect anything more than fast-paced action then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. ONLY SEE "WANTED" IF YOU ARE IN THE MOOD FOR ACTION.
You've been warned. Oh - just in case you're wondering, no sex scenes in either movie and you only get a backshot of Angelina getting out of water in Wanted.
The women are teasing instead of pleasing this summer.
Body Of Lies
I know what you're thinking. What? Another espionage movie?
Yes, another one. Body of Lies takes a journey through Jordan with Leonardo DiCaprio as a spy in the Middle East (and in my opinion an unconvincing one at that) who is doing guess what? Well if you've seen "The Kingdom" or "Traitor" you already know. Trying to get to the old man behind the boys setting off the bombs.
You know how this shit works. Don't front. Russell Crowe puts it down as Ed, Leo's boss, who is a cold, ruthless bastard who spends most of his time being a good father to his children. Seriously, most of the movie, he's taking his kids to school or to soccer games while giving Leo orders to fuck shit up. Leo plays a dude named Roger who is trying to find himself and his place in the world while going on missions to try to get to the bottom of the latest, greatest terrorist organization. Riiight. :rolleyes: In the meantime, he meets a banging little Iranian chick named Aisha (sounds like a sista's name :D ) and is trying to establish a life for himself outside of his work.
Now, I have to say I enjoyed the movie because as with most of these espionage movies, it has a good story. I thought "Traitor" and "The Kingdom" were better in certain ways overall but this one doesn't suck. Its good. Russell Crowe proves that he's ten times the actor that Leo is by playing a very convincing southern redneck turned CIA bureaucrat. Russell is all about "fuck 'em and fry 'em while Leo, being in the midst of all of the shit, is much more sympathetic to the people and what's going on in the real Arab world.
Leonardo is a hot and cold actor in my opinion. Sometimes he's really on point and sometimes he's "meh". Although he's been is some really good movies (including this one), he still comes off as some chick's little brother to me. This role was a step back from his performance in "Blood Diamond", where I think he actually showed some A list acting chops. That may well have been Leo's best work as an actor.
Anyway, under Ridley Scott's direction, you already know this movie is gonna take number one at the box office this weekend. You may as well fuck with it if you're gonna fuck with anything else in this realm. If I had to choose between this and Eagle Eye, I'd pick this for the story and Eagle Eye for the action. If I had to watch one over again, it would be this one. I'm sure it'll get an academy nod while Traitor (the better of these two in my opinion) might just slip by the academy. We'll see.
Its worth the money to go see it anytime. Of course there's no nudity but there are a couple of rough death scenes and a torture scene or two that's cringe-worthy.
The movie is too heavy for children. Don't take 'em.
Its a good flick; worth fuckin' with if you're going to spend money on a movie. Its right at the two hour mark, so piss before you watch it.
Oh, here's a bonus review:
If you were thinking of watching Quarantine - don't. Let me save you the trouble. It is a complete, almost shot-for-shot remake of this Spanish horror movie called [REC]. You can either rent it or if you have a rapidshare account, fuck with it that way. [REC] came out in 2007 and they remade that mutha fucka and dropped it THIS YEAR! Ain't that a bitch? Fuck with the original. Its in Spanish but the subtitles are hardcoded into the film. Its okay. Its like 28 Days Later taking place in one apartment building, shot with one camera, "reality" style.
[REC] 2007 DVDRip
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191612/r.07.sub.hard.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191432/r.07.sub.hard.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191480/r.07.sub.hard.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204129/r.07.sub.hard.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204435/r.07.sub.hard.part5.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204121/r.07.sub.hard.part6.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204368/r.07.sub.hard.part7.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109212137/r.07.sub.hard.part8.rar
Yes, another one. Body of Lies takes a journey through Jordan with Leonardo DiCaprio as a spy in the Middle East (and in my opinion an unconvincing one at that) who is doing guess what? Well if you've seen "The Kingdom" or "Traitor" you already know. Trying to get to the old man behind the boys setting off the bombs.
You know how this shit works. Don't front. Russell Crowe puts it down as Ed, Leo's boss, who is a cold, ruthless bastard who spends most of his time being a good father to his children. Seriously, most of the movie, he's taking his kids to school or to soccer games while giving Leo orders to fuck shit up. Leo plays a dude named Roger who is trying to find himself and his place in the world while going on missions to try to get to the bottom of the latest, greatest terrorist organization. Riiight. :rolleyes: In the meantime, he meets a banging little Iranian chick named Aisha (sounds like a sista's name :D ) and is trying to establish a life for himself outside of his work.
Now, I have to say I enjoyed the movie because as with most of these espionage movies, it has a good story. I thought "Traitor" and "The Kingdom" were better in certain ways overall but this one doesn't suck. Its good. Russell Crowe proves that he's ten times the actor that Leo is by playing a very convincing southern redneck turned CIA bureaucrat. Russell is all about "fuck 'em and fry 'em while Leo, being in the midst of all of the shit, is much more sympathetic to the people and what's going on in the real Arab world.
Leonardo is a hot and cold actor in my opinion. Sometimes he's really on point and sometimes he's "meh". Although he's been is some really good movies (including this one), he still comes off as some chick's little brother to me. This role was a step back from his performance in "Blood Diamond", where I think he actually showed some A list acting chops. That may well have been Leo's best work as an actor.
Anyway, under Ridley Scott's direction, you already know this movie is gonna take number one at the box office this weekend. You may as well fuck with it if you're gonna fuck with anything else in this realm. If I had to choose between this and Eagle Eye, I'd pick this for the story and Eagle Eye for the action. If I had to watch one over again, it would be this one. I'm sure it'll get an academy nod while Traitor (the better of these two in my opinion) might just slip by the academy. We'll see.
Its worth the money to go see it anytime. Of course there's no nudity but there are a couple of rough death scenes and a torture scene or two that's cringe-worthy.
The movie is too heavy for children. Don't take 'em.
Its a good flick; worth fuckin' with if you're going to spend money on a movie. Its right at the two hour mark, so piss before you watch it.
Oh, here's a bonus review:
If you were thinking of watching Quarantine - don't. Let me save you the trouble. It is a complete, almost shot-for-shot remake of this Spanish horror movie called [REC]. You can either rent it or if you have a rapidshare account, fuck with it that way. [REC] came out in 2007 and they remade that mutha fucka and dropped it THIS YEAR! Ain't that a bitch? Fuck with the original. Its in Spanish but the subtitles are hardcoded into the film. Its okay. Its like 28 Days Later taking place in one apartment building, shot with one camera, "reality" style.
[REC] 2007 DVDRip
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191612/r.07.sub.hard.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191432/r.07.sub.hard.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191480/r.07.sub.hard.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204129/r.07.sub.hard.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204435/r.07.sub.hard.part5.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204121/r.07.sub.hard.part6.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204368/r.07.sub.hard.part7.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109212137/r.07.sub.hard.part8.rar
Appaloosa
Has your town been overrun by gangsters? Did they kill your sheriff and his deputies? Do they come in and do what ever they want to and take whatever they want to? Well, if that's your situation, you may wanna employ the services of someone like Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and his trusty sidekick Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen).
Ed Harris plays Virgil Cole, a "lawman for hire" who often fumbles his vocabulary who, with his buddy Everett (Vigo) cruise around the wild west in search of what would today be considered basically security service jobs. A town called Appaloosa gets overrun by the henchmen of a man by the name of Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) who's good manners and seemingly laid back demeanor hide a vicious, dirty, low down mutha fucka. The heads of the town employ Virgil and Everett to take it back. Vigo declares martial law on the town (so he can shoot whoever he needs to) and they get busy. That's basically the story line.
In comes Renee Zellweger who plays a character named Allison French, who is somewhat mysterious with somewhat questionable morals. She eventually takes a liking to who? Of course - Virgil Cole. I think its not too hard to figure these things out. Its a damn western!
Now, Hollywood hit a home run with 3:10 to Yuma. It was an action packed movie with very interesting characters and gunfights and chase scenes. This movie is very different. It moves at the pace of a horse's trot, takes place mostly in town and has more comedy than action. Now, don't get me wrong - its not a comedy. Its just that there are a lot of funny lines in this movie in the dialog exchange between Ed and Vigo and between the two of them and others. They had great onscreen chemistry and had no problem convincing an audience that they'd been friends for a long time.
This flick seemed more like what you would call a realistic depiction of the old west. There was a lot of time spent on porches, no one in the movie was in that big of a hurry to do anything and the pace was a lot slower than an action western like 3:10 To Yuma. This film focused on the characters and gave more of a realistic depiction of how things probably went down back in the day. What I especially found interesting was the way the gunfights were carried out. There was much more etiquette than what is normally displayed in most westerns. Given the fact that etiquette dictated a great deal in the early years of America, I actually didn't find it hard to believe at all.
Now - what I didn't like about the movie.
I have a great deal of respect for Jeremy Irons. He's a good actor who has played a lot of different roles. I liked his character in this movie but I really had a hard time getting past his British accent slips. I just couldn't imagine a rich, British mutha fucka like him out in the middle of nowhere. Early on in the movie, they mention that he is friends with the President of the U.S., too? Aw, HELL NAW! Well, since he had about 15-20 henchmen at his beck and call, I guess I could let that slide. I guess he was doing the big fish in a small pond thang. Whateva.
Secondly and most unbelievably was Renee Zellweger. Okay, this broad was basically the vixen of the movie! Yeah, you heard me! Renee fuckin' Zellweger! Git the fuck outta here, right? I know! While there was one other woman in the movie besides Renee (well, and the maid), the Spanish hotel whore that Vigo was fucking, Renee was the one who had the loosest booty in the movie. Now while I have nothing against Renee personally, you'd think that a bitch with a name like Allison French would be a little more...hotter? Sexier? Cuter? Hell, let's not bullshit ourselves, Renee is the chick you go home with at the very end of the night who has to be out by morning and you don't keep her number unless she knows some tricks or something. Like I said, it was a realistic view of the old west. I guess any bitch who bathes every night, wears dresses and perfume and knows how to cook, clean and play the piano was a catch in a small ass town like Appaloosa.Still, I would have cast someone else if it were me.
Unless you like Westerns, I wouldn't suggest this movie. I thought it was a pretty good flick but I still won't recommend it. Its slow and that can be a turn off to most of today's movie goers. I found the dialog entertaining and the acting (especially between Vigo and Ed) was primo but this is not one for the mainstream. Also, at times the direction seems a bit scattered and less focused. There are points where you feel like you are just looking at peoples' lives rather than a movie and you are waiting for shit to happen.
This film in my opinion, is a rental for people who kinda like westerns or kinda like Vigo Mortensen or kinda like Ed Harris. I know this is going to sound conflicting but would I watch it again? Yep. There is some great dialog in the movie and I'd watch it again just for that. I think it was a good movie. Still, unless you are into the above mentioned, I'd have to say skip it and wait for the DVD or cable (most likely HBO) showing of it. Its worth watching, but it ain't got none of "us" in it AT ALL. The few Indians it had in it were bit parts and that's about as ethnically diverse as this movie got. Well, there was the Mexican maid.
Unless you have a fetish for seeing the back of Renee Zellweger's saggy no-ass, [well, there's a nipple shot through an almost see-through top of the Spanish chick Vigo was fucking (Ariadna Gil) but that's about it] you might wanna pass on expecting nudity. There's a couple of words here and there and Ed Harris sings halfway through the end credits but overall, its not that explicit. Its not even that violent compared to other westerns. Its a safe movie to see but overall, most folk who didn't grow up watching western reruns when they were younger probably won't relate to or like this flick. If you are 30 or over, you remember when the old westerns came on on Saturdays after the cartoons, so you're prepped for what's to come if you choose to see it. I say hold out till it hits HBO or DVD.
Ed Harris plays Virgil Cole, a "lawman for hire" who often fumbles his vocabulary who, with his buddy Everett (Vigo) cruise around the wild west in search of what would today be considered basically security service jobs. A town called Appaloosa gets overrun by the henchmen of a man by the name of Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) who's good manners and seemingly laid back demeanor hide a vicious, dirty, low down mutha fucka. The heads of the town employ Virgil and Everett to take it back. Vigo declares martial law on the town (so he can shoot whoever he needs to) and they get busy. That's basically the story line.
In comes Renee Zellweger who plays a character named Allison French, who is somewhat mysterious with somewhat questionable morals. She eventually takes a liking to who? Of course - Virgil Cole. I think its not too hard to figure these things out. Its a damn western!
Now, Hollywood hit a home run with 3:10 to Yuma. It was an action packed movie with very interesting characters and gunfights and chase scenes. This movie is very different. It moves at the pace of a horse's trot, takes place mostly in town and has more comedy than action. Now, don't get me wrong - its not a comedy. Its just that there are a lot of funny lines in this movie in the dialog exchange between Ed and Vigo and between the two of them and others. They had great onscreen chemistry and had no problem convincing an audience that they'd been friends for a long time.
This flick seemed more like what you would call a realistic depiction of the old west. There was a lot of time spent on porches, no one in the movie was in that big of a hurry to do anything and the pace was a lot slower than an action western like 3:10 To Yuma. This film focused on the characters and gave more of a realistic depiction of how things probably went down back in the day. What I especially found interesting was the way the gunfights were carried out. There was much more etiquette than what is normally displayed in most westerns. Given the fact that etiquette dictated a great deal in the early years of America, I actually didn't find it hard to believe at all.
Now - what I didn't like about the movie.
I have a great deal of respect for Jeremy Irons. He's a good actor who has played a lot of different roles. I liked his character in this movie but I really had a hard time getting past his British accent slips. I just couldn't imagine a rich, British mutha fucka like him out in the middle of nowhere. Early on in the movie, they mention that he is friends with the President of the U.S., too? Aw, HELL NAW! Well, since he had about 15-20 henchmen at his beck and call, I guess I could let that slide. I guess he was doing the big fish in a small pond thang. Whateva.
Secondly and most unbelievably was Renee Zellweger. Okay, this broad was basically the vixen of the movie! Yeah, you heard me! Renee fuckin' Zellweger! Git the fuck outta here, right? I know! While there was one other woman in the movie besides Renee (well, and the maid), the Spanish hotel whore that Vigo was fucking, Renee was the one who had the loosest booty in the movie. Now while I have nothing against Renee personally, you'd think that a bitch with a name like Allison French would be a little more...hotter? Sexier? Cuter? Hell, let's not bullshit ourselves, Renee is the chick you go home with at the very end of the night who has to be out by morning and you don't keep her number unless she knows some tricks or something. Like I said, it was a realistic view of the old west. I guess any bitch who bathes every night, wears dresses and perfume and knows how to cook, clean and play the piano was a catch in a small ass town like Appaloosa.Still, I would have cast someone else if it were me.
Unless you like Westerns, I wouldn't suggest this movie. I thought it was a pretty good flick but I still won't recommend it. Its slow and that can be a turn off to most of today's movie goers. I found the dialog entertaining and the acting (especially between Vigo and Ed) was primo but this is not one for the mainstream. Also, at times the direction seems a bit scattered and less focused. There are points where you feel like you are just looking at peoples' lives rather than a movie and you are waiting for shit to happen.
This film in my opinion, is a rental for people who kinda like westerns or kinda like Vigo Mortensen or kinda like Ed Harris. I know this is going to sound conflicting but would I watch it again? Yep. There is some great dialog in the movie and I'd watch it again just for that. I think it was a good movie. Still, unless you are into the above mentioned, I'd have to say skip it and wait for the DVD or cable (most likely HBO) showing of it. Its worth watching, but it ain't got none of "us" in it AT ALL. The few Indians it had in it were bit parts and that's about as ethnically diverse as this movie got. Well, there was the Mexican maid.
Unless you have a fetish for seeing the back of Renee Zellweger's saggy no-ass, [well, there's a nipple shot through an almost see-through top of the Spanish chick Vigo was fucking (Ariadna Gil) but that's about it] you might wanna pass on expecting nudity. There's a couple of words here and there and Ed Harris sings halfway through the end credits but overall, its not that explicit. Its not even that violent compared to other westerns. Its a safe movie to see but overall, most folk who didn't grow up watching western reruns when they were younger probably won't relate to or like this flick. If you are 30 or over, you remember when the old westerns came on on Saturdays after the cartoons, so you're prepped for what's to come if you choose to see it. I say hold out till it hits HBO or DVD.
Blindness
I went into this film expecting something profound and moving and deep.
Everybody goes blind due to some unexplained reason except for one person - Julianne Moore. She's the wife of an eye doctor who gets the "white blindness" from an Asian guy who comes into his office after going blind in his car. Subsequently, you see everyone who visited him and everyone from his office eventually in this "zone" that can be described basically as a quarantine camp. The movie is basically an character study of what happens when something disrupts the social order on a massive scale. To keep it real, I didn't like this shit. Oh, I got it. I got the message of the frailty of the human condition and how people can become under stressful situations. I just didn't like it. This movie was so busy trying to make a point that it forgot to be a movie. I know I'm supposed to praise it and shit because the guy that did City Of God, an actual brilliant movie, did this one and I'm supposed to call him a "genius" and shit.
Fuck that. This movie was some boring, lukewarm, artsy-fartsy assed BULLSHIT.
Even seeing Alice Braga naked was less than thrilling and Julianne Moore should keep her clothes on - even in the shower. Yes, there is a nude shower scene with three women in it. No there is no lez shit going on. No its not "hot". Moving right along. I'm not even going to review this shit properly because it doesn't deserve a bunch of words. Its not too hard to say BORING and WACK. The only people who will think this shit is genius are dumbed down, brain-dead idiots and pseudo-intellectuals who will say it was great for cool points among their peers.
Save your money. Save your bandwidth. Don't pay to see this shit. Don't even waste rapidshare bandwidth downloading it. Its fucking stupid.
If everybody else is blind and you can see, who's running shit? YOU. You would think. Not this bitch. Nope. She fell in line with the social protocol of anarchy within the camp and even allowed herself to be raped. YES, I said ALLOWED HERSELF. (Blind muh fuckas formed a gang and was rationing food out and decided that women had to fuck for food)
This shit is too stupid to accept and so busy trying to be meaningful that as a movie, it ended up sucking.
Do yourselves a favor and turn a blind eye to "Blindness". Wait till the shit comes on t.v. Its not even a decent rental. Fuck that garbage.
I want my two hours back.
Next time somebody writes a movie about "white blindness", they need to let Spike Lee direct it. The white blindness they need to be making movies about will never get made. I'm talkin' bout the real "white blindness that goes on in our society on the regular.
Racial social exclusion. Where's THAT fuckin' movie, huh?
Everybody goes blind due to some unexplained reason except for one person - Julianne Moore. She's the wife of an eye doctor who gets the "white blindness" from an Asian guy who comes into his office after going blind in his car. Subsequently, you see everyone who visited him and everyone from his office eventually in this "zone" that can be described basically as a quarantine camp. The movie is basically an character study of what happens when something disrupts the social order on a massive scale. To keep it real, I didn't like this shit. Oh, I got it. I got the message of the frailty of the human condition and how people can become under stressful situations. I just didn't like it. This movie was so busy trying to make a point that it forgot to be a movie. I know I'm supposed to praise it and shit because the guy that did City Of God, an actual brilliant movie, did this one and I'm supposed to call him a "genius" and shit.
Fuck that. This movie was some boring, lukewarm, artsy-fartsy assed BULLSHIT.
Even seeing Alice Braga naked was less than thrilling and Julianne Moore should keep her clothes on - even in the shower. Yes, there is a nude shower scene with three women in it. No there is no lez shit going on. No its not "hot". Moving right along. I'm not even going to review this shit properly because it doesn't deserve a bunch of words. Its not too hard to say BORING and WACK. The only people who will think this shit is genius are dumbed down, brain-dead idiots and pseudo-intellectuals who will say it was great for cool points among their peers.
Save your money. Save your bandwidth. Don't pay to see this shit. Don't even waste rapidshare bandwidth downloading it. Its fucking stupid.
If everybody else is blind and you can see, who's running shit? YOU. You would think. Not this bitch. Nope. She fell in line with the social protocol of anarchy within the camp and even allowed herself to be raped. YES, I said ALLOWED HERSELF. (Blind muh fuckas formed a gang and was rationing food out and decided that women had to fuck for food)
This shit is too stupid to accept and so busy trying to be meaningful that as a movie, it ended up sucking.
Do yourselves a favor and turn a blind eye to "Blindness". Wait till the shit comes on t.v. Its not even a decent rental. Fuck that garbage.
I want my two hours back.
Next time somebody writes a movie about "white blindness", they need to let Spike Lee direct it. The white blindness they need to be making movies about will never get made. I'm talkin' bout the real "white blindness that goes on in our society on the regular.
Racial social exclusion. Where's THAT fuckin' movie, huh?
Eagle Eye
Hey Neo, Skynet just made you an Enemy of the State - what cha gonna do now?
I wanna sit here and tell you that Eagle Eye is the break out movie of the year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye is one of the best action films I've seen this year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye will blow you away.
But I don't want to lie to you.
This movie is a Hollywood hacktastic, hactacular, hackbuster. They rehashed so many other flicks you can literally point out the movies they stole ideas from and make it a trivia game. The plot is actually not bad but the devices they use to get you through it are all-too familiar. Hell, I was waiting for that mutha fucka Shia LaFluff to use the force at some point. Hell, they did everything else.
This movie has more action than you can shake a stick at. Really. It does. I got eye strain watching this shit. Plot? Yeah, there's one but it doesn't unfold immediately. They slip it in midway through the movie. Acting? I'm bout sick of Shia's ass. He needs to chill after Transformers 2 and take a break. Then he should play a serial killer or something. As usual, the real acting is done by the vet - Billy Bob Thorton. Rosario did okay. Kinda stiff and no nudity - not even a damn shoulder or back shot. She was in uniform the whole flick. She did play off Anthony Mackie well, though. Is it just me or has she completely avoided looking sexy after "Rent"? I know she's trying to be seen as a strong woman and all but damn if she ain't overdoing that shit.
Michelle Monaghan has doomed herself to mommy role hell with this movie. She may as well sign a contract with the Lifetime Channel and call it a career. MI-3 was it for her.
If it seems like I'm dancing around describing the flick, its because I am. The first sentence was enough. Anything outside of that would be a spoiler.
A word of warning if you are thinking of seeing this movie:
YOU MUST SUSPEND ALL BELIEF BEFORE GOING IN.
If you don't there's a good chance you will hate it.
I went for the action. I was satisfied. Is it a good movie? Well, that's a matter of opinion. (not mine) Is it a "thrill ride"? Hell yes. Shit's almost non-stop.
You might get tired of Shia LaBeouf's annoying ass but if you're into action, this one is full of it (Think Die Hard 4 level and then some).
My biggest issue with this flick is how these Hollyweird hacks jammed so many other movie ideas into this one. If you can let that slide, along with over the top action sequences with impossible outcomes like people walking away unscathed from explosive car crashes, then you might just like this movie.
Please, do yourself a favor and don't try to find the logic, science or physics in this movie. If you do, you will hate it. Just hop in, go along for the ride and jump off when you get dizzy (which should be about 10 minutes in).
There's no sex, no nudity and not that much foul language, so its basically kid-safe. Unfortunately, there's no titillation at all, so all of us fellas are stuck to enjoying the action, but they give you a triple dose to make up for it.
I'm guessing Miracle At St. Anna - Spike Lee's new joint is probably the best bet for the weekend. Again, I passed on a good flick in favor of an okay one. I heard "Choke" was funny, too. I didn't see it myself, though. I'd say go catch Towelhead or Miracle At St. Anna if you want to get your deep, thought-provoking flick on. (I have seen neither, so proceed with caution) I think if you're looking for an action flick this week - this is probably your only decent option. Its not a bad option, but it is what it is: an adrenaline shot with a rehashed plot.
How many government conspiracy movies can you see before you get fed up?
Well, this weekend you'll get the chance to add one to the list. Thumbs? Meh. I've probably written more than enough already. I'd call it a thumbs up for action junkies only.
Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message
I wanna sit here and tell you that Eagle Eye is the break out movie of the year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye is one of the best action films I've seen this year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye will blow you away.
But I don't want to lie to you.
This movie is a Hollywood hacktastic, hactacular, hackbuster. They rehashed so many other flicks you can literally point out the movies they stole ideas from and make it a trivia game. The plot is actually not bad but the devices they use to get you through it are all-too familiar. Hell, I was waiting for that mutha fucka Shia LaFluff to use the force at some point. Hell, they did everything else.
This movie has more action than you can shake a stick at. Really. It does. I got eye strain watching this shit. Plot? Yeah, there's one but it doesn't unfold immediately. They slip it in midway through the movie. Acting? I'm bout sick of Shia's ass. He needs to chill after Transformers 2 and take a break. Then he should play a serial killer or something. As usual, the real acting is done by the vet - Billy Bob Thorton. Rosario did okay. Kinda stiff and no nudity - not even a damn shoulder or back shot. She was in uniform the whole flick. She did play off Anthony Mackie well, though. Is it just me or has she completely avoided looking sexy after "Rent"? I know she's trying to be seen as a strong woman and all but damn if she ain't overdoing that shit.
Michelle Monaghan has doomed herself to mommy role hell with this movie. She may as well sign a contract with the Lifetime Channel and call it a career. MI-3 was it for her.
If it seems like I'm dancing around describing the flick, its because I am. The first sentence was enough. Anything outside of that would be a spoiler.
A word of warning if you are thinking of seeing this movie:
YOU MUST SUSPEND ALL BELIEF BEFORE GOING IN.
If you don't there's a good chance you will hate it.
I went for the action. I was satisfied. Is it a good movie? Well, that's a matter of opinion. (not mine) Is it a "thrill ride"? Hell yes. Shit's almost non-stop.
You might get tired of Shia LaBeouf's annoying ass but if you're into action, this one is full of it (Think Die Hard 4 level and then some).
My biggest issue with this flick is how these Hollyweird hacks jammed so many other movie ideas into this one. If you can let that slide, along with over the top action sequences with impossible outcomes like people walking away unscathed from explosive car crashes, then you might just like this movie.
Please, do yourself a favor and don't try to find the logic, science or physics in this movie. If you do, you will hate it. Just hop in, go along for the ride and jump off when you get dizzy (which should be about 10 minutes in).
There's no sex, no nudity and not that much foul language, so its basically kid-safe. Unfortunately, there's no titillation at all, so all of us fellas are stuck to enjoying the action, but they give you a triple dose to make up for it.
I'm guessing Miracle At St. Anna - Spike Lee's new joint is probably the best bet for the weekend. Again, I passed on a good flick in favor of an okay one. I heard "Choke" was funny, too. I didn't see it myself, though. I'd say go catch Towelhead or Miracle At St. Anna if you want to get your deep, thought-provoking flick on. (I have seen neither, so proceed with caution) I think if you're looking for an action flick this week - this is probably your only decent option. Its not a bad option, but it is what it is: an adrenaline shot with a rehashed plot.
How many government conspiracy movies can you see before you get fed up?
Well, this weekend you'll get the chance to add one to the list. Thumbs? Meh. I've probably written more than enough already. I'd call it a thumbs up for action junkies only.
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Lakeview Terrace
Fuck Lakeview Terrace. I mean it. I really mean it. I try to be unbiased in reviewing shit but this piece of Lifetime Channel bullshit can kiss my ass. For real, you will see this shit on either the Lifetime or Oxygen channel in the next year or so. Just in case one of you mutha fuckas has lost your balls and your wife/girlfriend/jumpoff is dragging you to the movies to see this shit, I will TRY not to spoil it too much.
This was a bullshit, done to death plot with nothing more than a "black twist" of characters to push the "poor white victim" mentality onto the masses so white folks can cheer for "the white man". Samuel plays a cop who is probably a bit on the obsessive compulsive side who takes a disdain towards his new neighbors and decides to press it and the whole thing blows out of proportion. The scenario is bullshit even though its plausible. Samuel's character isn't necessarily a bad cop, although he gets in some trouble. He roughs up a suspect that shot at him twice (which we all know is grounds for "lead poisoning" with the LAPD) while giving him a speech on being a responsible father. It was just a punch to the ribs and a threat. Don't worry, that doesn't play heavily into the movie's plot so its not that big of a spoiler.
They try to be politically correct with this shit because they build a slight case in favor of Samuel by the shit that goes wrong in his life. STILL, they eventually make it a clearer case against him when they pump up the aggression. Kerry Washington annoyed the shit out of me in this. Her character is stereotypical of a sista who dates white boys, complete with the over-accentuating of words to sound as "proper" as possible. (It fits because she actually talks like that) Ron Glass was an "uppity negroe" and seemed to be the black equivalent of the typical rich white dude in the movies. He plays Kerry's father who doesn't approve of her and Chris being together. Patrick Wilson, who plays Chris, has one character flaw, which is really more of a fear than a flaw. Other than that, he's the typical white guy who gets shit from the "niggas" for being with a sista.
Whateva. Fuck outta here, cracka.
Anyway, Samuel is basically a bully with a badge who fucks with them. He's also a stern father over his two children who live with him.
They at least made an attempt to make Abel (Samuel) three-dimensional but he was still technically the "bad guy".
I won't even start on the subliminals in this movie. All I can say is that I wouldn't spend two cents on this shit. Hollywood can take this propaganda bullshit and shove it up their ass. Fuckin' devils. If the cop had been white and the couple had been BM/WF, Hollywood wouldn't have made this movie. Hollywood rarely makes a BM/WF interracial couple have any substance to them. They are always either young teens or troubled or one one of them gets killed before the movie is over.
Y'all can go see this shit if you want to but I wouldn't fuck with it again. I suspect that "Towelhead", which also deals a little bit with the subject of interracial relationships (black and arab) and racism is probably a much better choice of movies.
Its hella movies droppin' this weekend; The Dutchess, Blindness, Appaloosa, Igor, My Best Friend's Girl, Ghost Town...my money is on the Western - Appaloosa. Lately, Hollywood has been trying to make some decent westerns. Don't waste your money on this Lakeview Terrace shit. Wait for it to come on Lifetime.
This was a bullshit, done to death plot with nothing more than a "black twist" of characters to push the "poor white victim" mentality onto the masses so white folks can cheer for "the white man". Samuel plays a cop who is probably a bit on the obsessive compulsive side who takes a disdain towards his new neighbors and decides to press it and the whole thing blows out of proportion. The scenario is bullshit even though its plausible. Samuel's character isn't necessarily a bad cop, although he gets in some trouble. He roughs up a suspect that shot at him twice (which we all know is grounds for "lead poisoning" with the LAPD) while giving him a speech on being a responsible father. It was just a punch to the ribs and a threat. Don't worry, that doesn't play heavily into the movie's plot so its not that big of a spoiler.
They try to be politically correct with this shit because they build a slight case in favor of Samuel by the shit that goes wrong in his life. STILL, they eventually make it a clearer case against him when they pump up the aggression. Kerry Washington annoyed the shit out of me in this. Her character is stereotypical of a sista who dates white boys, complete with the over-accentuating of words to sound as "proper" as possible. (It fits because she actually talks like that) Ron Glass was an "uppity negroe" and seemed to be the black equivalent of the typical rich white dude in the movies. He plays Kerry's father who doesn't approve of her and Chris being together. Patrick Wilson, who plays Chris, has one character flaw, which is really more of a fear than a flaw. Other than that, he's the typical white guy who gets shit from the "niggas" for being with a sista.
Whateva. Fuck outta here, cracka.
Anyway, Samuel is basically a bully with a badge who fucks with them. He's also a stern father over his two children who live with him.
They at least made an attempt to make Abel (Samuel) three-dimensional but he was still technically the "bad guy".
I won't even start on the subliminals in this movie. All I can say is that I wouldn't spend two cents on this shit. Hollywood can take this propaganda bullshit and shove it up their ass. Fuckin' devils. If the cop had been white and the couple had been BM/WF, Hollywood wouldn't have made this movie. Hollywood rarely makes a BM/WF interracial couple have any substance to them. They are always either young teens or troubled or one one of them gets killed before the movie is over.
Y'all can go see this shit if you want to but I wouldn't fuck with it again. I suspect that "Towelhead", which also deals a little bit with the subject of interracial relationships (black and arab) and racism is probably a much better choice of movies.
Its hella movies droppin' this weekend; The Dutchess, Blindness, Appaloosa, Igor, My Best Friend's Girl, Ghost Town...my money is on the Western - Appaloosa. Lately, Hollywood has been trying to make some decent westerns. Don't waste your money on this Lakeview Terrace shit. Wait for it to come on Lifetime.
Hancock
Who's going to see Hancock? Raise your hands! Who HAS to go see Hancock because the wife/girlfriend/bitch and/or kids want to go and your ass has to pay? Raise your hands. Who's going to see Hancock because they think its gonna be off the chain? Raise your hands.
Now, everybody from group 1 and group 3 put your hands down and save your money for the DVD.
Now first off, let's get some things straight up in this bitch. Will Smith is my nigga. He has the life that many black men want - he's one of the 5 highest paid actors in the U.S. He has a bangin' wife and beautiful kids. Most of the world respects him because they watched him go from nothing to something by hard work in his field. He managed to do all of that without slangin' yayo or having to have to step on a bunch of necks to get there. In effect, Will Smith is somewhat of a "superhero" in his own right. Any successful black man who comes up in that way is (see: Barack Obama, etc.) I wanted to make it clear that I am not shitting on Will Smith the man.
Now that that's clear - this movie was some emotionally driven bullshit. Its a chick flick with a superhero in it. Its a kid's movie. One of the things that can make or break a superhero movie is a good villian. This one doesn't have it. The 2003 Hulk didn't either and look how that went. I wouldn't say the movie sucks but its an action-comedy. Naw, fuck that Hollywood media term bullshit. You know what this movie is? Its a special effects children's story with funny parts in it. Basically, Hancock is a lone hero in the world who is looking for acceptance. The nigga has emotional problems. He drinks all the time because he is depressed. He is depressed because he's somewhat of a fuck-up even though he's a hero. He's somewhat of a fuck-up because he stopped caring when people stopped appreciating him and started picking at all of his flaws no matter what he did. This movie should have been called "What if Superman was a nigga". Basically everyone treats him like a nigg(er) regardless of what he tries to do. He saves Jason Bateman's life, who just so happens to work in public relations and decides to try to help Hancock get a better public image. One of those things involved guess what? What do all white folk want us to do when they can't control us? Yep. He has to GO TO JAIL. I found this particular part of the movie annoying and couldn't help but think "they would have never asked Superman to go to jail for wrecking shit". Even Mr. Incredible from the Incredibles didn't have to do time. How much time did Tony Stark have to do? Did Spider-Man do a bid? The Thing? Nope. The big fear that I have about this movie is that most of mainstream white America - who its aimed at - is not going to truly understand that there is an underlying message about life as a black man in this movie and because this movie failed to properly delve into it (of course it wouldn't - its basically a kid's movie), people will only feel sorry for Hancock instead of understanding the perspective that he lives from. Its all about "if this supernigga would just live within the parameters we set for him, everything will be okay" and to a lesser extent, that's how life really is for many of us. Assimilate or there will be trouble. If you do, there's a small reward of acknowledgment and semi-acceptance in it for you. But, I digress.
Anyway, more shit happens that I can't disclose without spoiling the movie. He discovers that he knows someone from way back. Eventually he reveals that he has amnesia (that old shit again?) and can't remember who or what he is. All this self-realization and internal examination shit got on my nerves and amidst a bunch of "touching family moments" and "kid and 'Mean Joe' moments" (old school coke commercial) and "awww" moments they managed to work in some special effects. I think I only actually counted three deaths total. One doesn't count and the other two you can only assume they are dead because you didn't see them die - but its a safe assumption. This movie needed a super-villian BADLY! The only reason its not PG is because of the language. There's no nudity and all of the action is in shoot-outs where nobody dies and in displays of abilities by Hancock. To top it off, they throw in a star-crossed lovers type story. Now you KNOW Will ain't gettin' no pussy in a PG flick, right? Wesley would; Will? "Aw hell naw!"
Man, I want to say that this flick is great and everybody should go see it. I want to say that its better than "I Am Legend". In truth, all I can really say is that its good to take the kids to, your wife/girlfriend/bitch will probably like it more than you will and that Akiva Goldsman is a fuckin' hack writer/producer that needs to get the fuck outta the movie industry. Now that I've seen his face in this movie, maybe I can "loom" Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy into murking this mutha fucka. Did I just cross movies? Oops, sorry.
Hancock will probably do well at the box office but its not the summer blockbuster that most of Will's other movies have been. As it stands, if given the choice, I think I'd rather be Will Smith than Hancock and if given the choice to see them again for the first time, I'd rather see I Am Legend than Hancock. That's not a bad thing to me because I liked "I Am Legend". I'm just not down with the 'chick flcik wrapped in a superhero movie' theme that this movie carried. Don't invite me to John Hancock's pity party; invite me to Mike Lowery's pussy party.
DVD it if you can. Matinee it if you must. If you think I'm lyin' then you're an asshole. That's all I'mma say. Peace.
Now, everybody from group 1 and group 3 put your hands down and save your money for the DVD.
Now first off, let's get some things straight up in this bitch. Will Smith is my nigga. He has the life that many black men want - he's one of the 5 highest paid actors in the U.S. He has a bangin' wife and beautiful kids. Most of the world respects him because they watched him go from nothing to something by hard work in his field. He managed to do all of that without slangin' yayo or having to have to step on a bunch of necks to get there. In effect, Will Smith is somewhat of a "superhero" in his own right. Any successful black man who comes up in that way is (see: Barack Obama, etc.) I wanted to make it clear that I am not shitting on Will Smith the man.
Now that that's clear - this movie was some emotionally driven bullshit. Its a chick flick with a superhero in it. Its a kid's movie. One of the things that can make or break a superhero movie is a good villian. This one doesn't have it. The 2003 Hulk didn't either and look how that went. I wouldn't say the movie sucks but its an action-comedy. Naw, fuck that Hollywood media term bullshit. You know what this movie is? Its a special effects children's story with funny parts in it. Basically, Hancock is a lone hero in the world who is looking for acceptance. The nigga has emotional problems. He drinks all the time because he is depressed. He is depressed because he's somewhat of a fuck-up even though he's a hero. He's somewhat of a fuck-up because he stopped caring when people stopped appreciating him and started picking at all of his flaws no matter what he did. This movie should have been called "What if Superman was a nigga". Basically everyone treats him like a nigg(er) regardless of what he tries to do. He saves Jason Bateman's life, who just so happens to work in public relations and decides to try to help Hancock get a better public image. One of those things involved guess what? What do all white folk want us to do when they can't control us? Yep. He has to GO TO JAIL. I found this particular part of the movie annoying and couldn't help but think "they would have never asked Superman to go to jail for wrecking shit". Even Mr. Incredible from the Incredibles didn't have to do time. How much time did Tony Stark have to do? Did Spider-Man do a bid? The Thing? Nope. The big fear that I have about this movie is that most of mainstream white America - who its aimed at - is not going to truly understand that there is an underlying message about life as a black man in this movie and because this movie failed to properly delve into it (of course it wouldn't - its basically a kid's movie), people will only feel sorry for Hancock instead of understanding the perspective that he lives from. Its all about "if this supernigga would just live within the parameters we set for him, everything will be okay" and to a lesser extent, that's how life really is for many of us. Assimilate or there will be trouble. If you do, there's a small reward of acknowledgment and semi-acceptance in it for you. But, I digress.
Anyway, more shit happens that I can't disclose without spoiling the movie. He discovers that he knows someone from way back. Eventually he reveals that he has amnesia (that old shit again?) and can't remember who or what he is. All this self-realization and internal examination shit got on my nerves and amidst a bunch of "touching family moments" and "kid and 'Mean Joe' moments" (old school coke commercial) and "awww" moments they managed to work in some special effects. I think I only actually counted three deaths total. One doesn't count and the other two you can only assume they are dead because you didn't see them die - but its a safe assumption. This movie needed a super-villian BADLY! The only reason its not PG is because of the language. There's no nudity and all of the action is in shoot-outs where nobody dies and in displays of abilities by Hancock. To top it off, they throw in a star-crossed lovers type story. Now you KNOW Will ain't gettin' no pussy in a PG flick, right? Wesley would; Will? "Aw hell naw!"
Man, I want to say that this flick is great and everybody should go see it. I want to say that its better than "I Am Legend". In truth, all I can really say is that its good to take the kids to, your wife/girlfriend/bitch will probably like it more than you will and that Akiva Goldsman is a fuckin' hack writer/producer that needs to get the fuck outta the movie industry. Now that I've seen his face in this movie, maybe I can "loom" Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy into murking this mutha fucka. Did I just cross movies? Oops, sorry.
Hancock will probably do well at the box office but its not the summer blockbuster that most of Will's other movies have been. As it stands, if given the choice, I think I'd rather be Will Smith than Hancock and if given the choice to see them again for the first time, I'd rather see I Am Legend than Hancock. That's not a bad thing to me because I liked "I Am Legend". I'm just not down with the 'chick flcik wrapped in a superhero movie' theme that this movie carried. Don't invite me to John Hancock's pity party; invite me to Mike Lowery's pussy party.
DVD it if you can. Matinee it if you must. If you think I'm lyin' then you're an asshole. That's all I'mma say. Peace.
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