You can always tell when its Oscar season. Mofos start pullin' out the big guns. Pride and Glory is a crime drama that definitely comes out blasting in terms of performances. Before I start, just let me say this: sometimes you can see the plot lines Hollywood has for its Oscars. This year, my prediction is that John Voight and his daughter, Angelina Jolie, with BOTH be nominated for Oscars. I missed my screener for The Changeling but everybody I talked to that saw it said that this movie was great and Angelina is going to get an Oscar nomination for this. I rarely hear that from a wide range of people with different tastes in movies, so even though I don't know, I'm just gonna roll with it and predict that shit on the strength. What I do know is that John Voight kicked some major dramatic ass in his performance in this movie. Another Oscar nod will go to Ed Norton. (Does he ever do poorly in a role?) Even though I was unfamiliar with this dude - Noah Emmerich - I can safely say that his career is about to jump off because he was off the hook as well. This movie also pleased people like me who are not huge Colin Ferrell fans. You only had to deal with him in doses. As a matter of fact, this movie didn't have any bad acting in it (even though Colin never seems to be able to shake his accent - and probably never tries to). The performances were top notch.
In case you hadn't figured it out from the trailers, this is basically a movie about police corruption. John Voight is the head of a family of cops - Noah is the oldest brother and the CO, Ed Norton is the "thinker" who's destined to be detective and rise through the ranks like his father did and Colin is...guess...the "bad boy" brother-in-law of the family? Maybe.
The story kicks off with four cops getting iced trying to bust a drug dealer. Noah (Francis Jr.) finds out that all of his buddies got fucked up trying to catch this dude named Angel Tezo. Its there where you learn who is who in the movie. John Voight (Francis Sr.) asks Ed Norton (Ray) to head the task force on the investigation. This uncovers a scandal involving a ring of bad cops who have been murdering for hire and dealing on the side as well as robbing and all of the shit criminals do. This movie serves as a backdrop for the acting. The story line is not new and you can probably predict the ending. With that in mind, I'd have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The acting is on point. Also, this movie touches on something that not every film deals with. There is a nice combination of showing what's going on and how the media interprets it and how the masses perceive it.
To a small degree, this movie is sensitive to the struggles of cops and what they have to go through. What I found kinda funny and cool was that the cops in the movie all had very different looking wives and girlfriends. One cop had an Asian wife, Ed was going through a divorce from the beautiful Camen Ejogo (I know her from The Sally Hemings movie, "Boycott" where she was Coretta Scott King, and from "Lackawanna Blues"). Colin's wife looked Jewish, Noah's wife was white although she had no hair because she had cancer, and John Voight's wife looked Italian. It gave a variance in perception of them.
Now, while I had no real problems with the movie, I thought there was a little bit of miscasting. I'm talking about Rick Gonzalez. He plays one of the higher-up drug dealers in the city; I think he was Angel Tezo's rival. I'm sorry but Ben from Reaper ain't runnin' SHIT! While I think dude is a pretty good actor (rent/download "Illegal Tender", its a damn good flick), there's nobody that can convince me that this pretty mutha fucka is a boss on the streets. It would be like if Prince had actually taken the role he was offered in Michael Jackson's "Bad" video as the tough gang leader. I just wasn't buying it. "Who's bad?" Not this skinny ass nuggaha! His performance was cool and its good to see homeboy workin' but...really. That mutha fucka would be a jailhouse bitch. No way any real street niggas would let El DeBarge Jr. run shit on the streets.
Speaking of pussies, gawd damn, gawd damn! Keep your eyes open for this chick named Raquel Jordan! In this flick, she plays The strung out girlfriend of Angel Tezo (played by Ramon Rodriguez). Man, if there was ever a campaign for heroin or crack addict pussy, she would be the poster child! Even though most of the time she looked ravaged from abuse and drug use, she was still bangin'! You know I have to mention the dimes in the movie! Remember when I told y'all to watch for Debra Nascimento in the Hulk? Aight, then.
While this is not the best movie I've seen this year or anything like that, I have to say the acting is good. Its character-driven, so the people are more important than the story. Ed acted his ass off in this as did John Voight. The performances were damn good all around. The story has been done. The cinematography is very blue . The whole movie has a blue tint to it. Blue = cops? Maybe. Don't know, don't care. It looked pretty cool.
Now this joint is long. The movie had to be about 2 1/2 hours. If you've got to piss, don't try to hold out till the end of the movie. I heard that the Angelina flick, "The Changeling" was long like that, too. Tis the season and Oscars are the reason.
I say fuck with this if you like crime dramas or Ed Norton. While there is some action it in, it is not an action flick. Cops will like this flick. There's not much nudity. I think Raquel Jordan showed some flesh but it was so quick I don't remember. This is not one for the family. There is nothing for kids in this movie and there's a particular scene with a baby and an iron that's rather disturbing. It would probably shake a child up.
Matinee this mutha fucka or wait for the DVD. Its really a good joint to watch at the house with some friends. That way you can pause this shit when you need to pee.
Peace.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
The first thing that strikes one about this movie is the title. Obviously a play off the famous book "How To Win Friends And Influence People", this romantic comedy follows the life of Sidney Young (Simon Pegg) as he goes from being a goofy owner of a small magazine to becoming a big time journalist for a major magazine run by Jeff Bridges. Along the way, he encounters a woman named Allison (played by Kirsten Dunst) who helps him pursue his dreamgirl, the newest hottie in Hollywood - Sophie Maes (played by the newest hottie in Hollywood - Meagan Fox). Simon puts his own spin on a story you've seen hundreds of times before and it turned out to be pretty funny.
The flick has some cool ass cameos and of course has a little "trailer" when the credits are running. The whole movie is sprinkled with Pegg's offbeat British sense of humor and the cast did extremely well playing off one another.
Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox! Gawd damn, gawd damn! Meagan is one of the baddest chicks in Hollywood - no bullshit. I didn't see it in Transformers but you can damn sure see it in this movie. While there are no nude scenes, she looks "gooder than a muther fucker" in this joint! Her role is a new, flighty, almost naive starlet who Simon meets when he starts his job at Jeff Bridges's magazine. Gillian Anderson did a good job playing her publicist. Anyone who has seen Gillian in interviews knows that she is silly as fuck, so its always fun to see her in the stiff roles like Skully and this one where she plays a very Hollywood "bitch" type.
In making this film, they covered a couple of things that most movies don't usually touch - coke use and gay Jews. Of course Simon had to have ad-libbed on some of those parts. They were too classic! The film itself uses the typical romantic comedy to examine all of the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. All of the smoozing and the parties and the open coke use (they don't dwell on it but they do cover it).
I know this movie wasn't written by Simon but I bet he did a lot of re-writes on the script because it was full of "Pegg-isms" that will have you rolling on the floor if you see it. I know it may seem like I haven't said much about the flick. That's because you have seen this movie in many, many, many other movies before.
If you like Simon Pegg, you should see it. If you like Meagan Fox, you should definitely see it. If you like laughing at the pretentious foolishness of Hollywood, you should damn sure see this movie.
In my opinion, this movie was only missing three things:
Nick Frost (Simon's chubby buddy)
Nudity
Zombies!!!
Sorry, no nude shots of Meagan, although she's bangin' in almost every scene she's in. She has a hot ass underwear scene for what that's worth. Kristen did a decent job on her role, but I'd say if any of you thought she was attractive before, you'll be putting the last nail in that coffin. She looks pretty raggedy these days. Fuck it, she's paid. I ain't hatin'.
While I don't normally fuck with movies like this without being coerced into doing so, I have to say I enjoyed this joint. It glides along playfully and doesn't get dry. Simon keeps it going from scene to scene. I'm sure its PG-13, so you can take the old lady to it and she won't be trippin' about a bunch of naked hoes (unfortunately).
If you like Simon, you'll probably like this flick. I gotta thumbs up this one. Its definitely worth a matineé. Its a good movie to take a date to. I'd even say catch the bootleg when it drops this weekend.
If you had a shitty week and you need a good laugh, fuck wit it.
Peace.
The flick has some cool ass cameos and of course has a little "trailer" when the credits are running. The whole movie is sprinkled with Pegg's offbeat British sense of humor and the cast did extremely well playing off one another.
Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox, Meagan Fox! Gawd damn, gawd damn! Meagan is one of the baddest chicks in Hollywood - no bullshit. I didn't see it in Transformers but you can damn sure see it in this movie. While there are no nude scenes, she looks "gooder than a muther fucker" in this joint! Her role is a new, flighty, almost naive starlet who Simon meets when he starts his job at Jeff Bridges's magazine. Gillian Anderson did a good job playing her publicist. Anyone who has seen Gillian in interviews knows that she is silly as fuck, so its always fun to see her in the stiff roles like Skully and this one where she plays a very Hollywood "bitch" type.
In making this film, they covered a couple of things that most movies don't usually touch - coke use and gay Jews. Of course Simon had to have ad-libbed on some of those parts. They were too classic! The film itself uses the typical romantic comedy to examine all of the bullshit that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. All of the smoozing and the parties and the open coke use (they don't dwell on it but they do cover it).
I know this movie wasn't written by Simon but I bet he did a lot of re-writes on the script because it was full of "Pegg-isms" that will have you rolling on the floor if you see it. I know it may seem like I haven't said much about the flick. That's because you have seen this movie in many, many, many other movies before.
If you like Simon Pegg, you should see it. If you like Meagan Fox, you should definitely see it. If you like laughing at the pretentious foolishness of Hollywood, you should damn sure see this movie.
In my opinion, this movie was only missing three things:
Nick Frost (Simon's chubby buddy)
Nudity
Zombies!!!
Sorry, no nude shots of Meagan, although she's bangin' in almost every scene she's in. She has a hot ass underwear scene for what that's worth. Kristen did a decent job on her role, but I'd say if any of you thought she was attractive before, you'll be putting the last nail in that coffin. She looks pretty raggedy these days. Fuck it, she's paid. I ain't hatin'.
While I don't normally fuck with movies like this without being coerced into doing so, I have to say I enjoyed this joint. It glides along playfully and doesn't get dry. Simon keeps it going from scene to scene. I'm sure its PG-13, so you can take the old lady to it and she won't be trippin' about a bunch of naked hoes (unfortunately).
If you like Simon, you'll probably like this flick. I gotta thumbs up this one. Its definitely worth a matineé. Its a good movie to take a date to. I'd even say catch the bootleg when it drops this weekend.
If you had a shitty week and you need a good laugh, fuck wit it.
Peace.
The Incredible Hulk
What's the fastest way to get from point A to point B? A straight line. Well, I think the director thought the same thing. This movie is called a "reboot" and it is just that. They wasted no time getting right down to the point in that they showed you the Hulk's origin while the opening credits are running in the form of pictures and blurred memory flashes of Bruce Banner. Fuck the dumb shit; get to the story - just the way the audience likes it. Most everybody saw the first one by now; no need to fuck around. The story then takes you to Bruce living in Brazil, and not the nice part where everyone is partying. The fuckin' flavelas. He's working in a bottling company that bottles sodas and is communicating with someone named Mr. Blue who is trying to help him find a cure (surprise, surprise). After an accidental cut on his finger that leads the American government and General Ross to his location, he Hulks up, dukes it out with a few soldiers and bolts. Of course he finds himself back to Betty Ross, who is dating a doctor - last name: Samson. Hulk comic book fans will know who he is. I would go into more of the plot but what's the point? You know how these things go. People fuck with Bruce, he gets pissed, Hulks up, kicks ass and powers down half naked in some strange ass place. A good Christmas gift for Bruce Banner - Rosetta Stone with all of the language packs. Also, unlike the first film, you get a true sense of the dichotomy of the Hulk. The tortured soul craving for a normal life really comes though in this film. So, let's get down to the questions people really have:
Is it better than the first one? YES.
Is the CGI better? Of course.
Can Edward Norton pull off the role? He did. I don't think Eric Bana did a bad job as the Hulk, I thought it was a shitty script, which brings us to the next question:
Was the story line better? Yes. They also had better settings and a decent antagonist for Hulk to fight. That helped a lot.
Does the CGI look real? No. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like a game. A really, really good game. The Hulk doesn't look real but the interaction with the real people is done in such a way that it blends so well you are able to suspend disbelief, as it should be when something is well done.
Who's hotter as Betty Ross? Jennifer Connelly '03 or Liv Tyler '08? Connelly kicked Liv's ass as Betty Ross. Though they both look like Betty, Liv at NO POINT IN THIS MOVIE convinced me for one second that she was Dr. Elisabeth Ross. Jennifer was easily able to pull off the smart girl role. Liv ain't that bright in real life and it shows in her acting. In my opinion, she was the worst thing in the movie. They should have tried for Anne Hathaway or just recast Jennifer Connelly. Tim Roth on the other hand was damn good as Blonsky.
Were there lots of cameos? Yes, and they were all cool and well placed.
Any scenes after the credits? Not this time. (at least not at the screener) Don't leave early, though. The last scene is cool.
Is this worth the money to go see? I'd have to say yes. Ed Norton did well and like the new James Bond, even though he's not somebody you'd expect to play the role, he does a good job with it.
They did a great job of conveying the loneliness that comes with being the Hulk in the script and the scenes and the pace were good. Its on par with Iron Man. If they are going to start doing superhero movies this way, count me in for the next few. Amazon.com would say "If you liked Iron Man you may like the following movie" I'd put money on it but understand that there is a lot more CGI in this than what is noticeable in Iron Man. That makes it seem more "fantasy like" . Don't worry, its still good.
Can I take the wife/girlfriend and kids? Its the Hulk; what the hell do you think?
Lots of action? Hmmm. Sort of. The fight scenes are off the hook and way more explosive and graphic than in the first Hulk movie. Still, this Hulk seems a little less powerful than the one from the first movie. I can't explain it but he just does. He seems less likely to run around a canyon. Still, the action scenes that are there are off the gawd damn hook and way better than the first movie.
In conclusion, if I didn't already see it for free, I'd still fuck with it. I say matinee it. Not because its not worth the full price but because gas is so damn high you've got to cut corners somewhere.
Here, fuck with a free popcorn with the purchase of a drink:
http://www.moviewatcher.com/servlet/user-controller/coupon?coupon=mwpopcorn
That's an AMC theater coupon. Don't say I never gave yo asses nothin'.
Is it better than the first one? YES.
Is the CGI better? Of course.
Can Edward Norton pull off the role? He did. I don't think Eric Bana did a bad job as the Hulk, I thought it was a shitty script, which brings us to the next question:
Was the story line better? Yes. They also had better settings and a decent antagonist for Hulk to fight. That helped a lot.
Does the CGI look real? No. It doesn't. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like a game. A really, really good game. The Hulk doesn't look real but the interaction with the real people is done in such a way that it blends so well you are able to suspend disbelief, as it should be when something is well done.
Who's hotter as Betty Ross? Jennifer Connelly '03 or Liv Tyler '08? Connelly kicked Liv's ass as Betty Ross. Though they both look like Betty, Liv at NO POINT IN THIS MOVIE convinced me for one second that she was Dr. Elisabeth Ross. Jennifer was easily able to pull off the smart girl role. Liv ain't that bright in real life and it shows in her acting. In my opinion, she was the worst thing in the movie. They should have tried for Anne Hathaway or just recast Jennifer Connelly. Tim Roth on the other hand was damn good as Blonsky.
Were there lots of cameos? Yes, and they were all cool and well placed.
Any scenes after the credits? Not this time. (at least not at the screener) Don't leave early, though. The last scene is cool.
Is this worth the money to go see? I'd have to say yes. Ed Norton did well and like the new James Bond, even though he's not somebody you'd expect to play the role, he does a good job with it.
They did a great job of conveying the loneliness that comes with being the Hulk in the script and the scenes and the pace were good. Its on par with Iron Man. If they are going to start doing superhero movies this way, count me in for the next few. Amazon.com would say "If you liked Iron Man you may like the following movie" I'd put money on it but understand that there is a lot more CGI in this than what is noticeable in Iron Man. That makes it seem more "fantasy like" . Don't worry, its still good.
Can I take the wife/girlfriend and kids? Its the Hulk; what the hell do you think?
Lots of action? Hmmm. Sort of. The fight scenes are off the hook and way more explosive and graphic than in the first Hulk movie. Still, this Hulk seems a little less powerful than the one from the first movie. I can't explain it but he just does. He seems less likely to run around a canyon. Still, the action scenes that are there are off the gawd damn hook and way better than the first movie.
In conclusion, if I didn't already see it for free, I'd still fuck with it. I say matinee it. Not because its not worth the full price but because gas is so damn high you've got to cut corners somewhere.
Here, fuck with a free popcorn with the purchase of a drink:
http://www.moviewatcher.com/servlet/user-controller/coupon?coupon=mwpopcorn
That's an AMC theater coupon. Don't say I never gave yo asses nothin'.
Get Smart vs. Wanted
Which one to see, which one to see?
In one corner, weighing in at about 110 minutes is Wanted, starring the fuckin' faun from the Chronicles of Narnia, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie.
In another corner, weighing in at about 2 hours is Get Smart, a movie remake of an old television show starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway...and Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson.
While I could give a full blow-by-blow on "Get Smart", I can't say jack shit about "Wanted" without giving away something, so I'm doin' it like this:
These two fighters are fairly well matched for a shot at being the top weekend warrior. Get Smart is smart, funny and has lots of references to the old show without being so overly-indulgent that you would have had to see every episode of the t.v. series to get the movie.
Wanted is action packed with over-the-top violence (think "Shoot Em Up") thats sure to fill any adrenaline junky's fix for the weekend.
McAvoy works in accounting services. Carell is an intel agent but more of a nerd than McAvoy.
Jolie is a hot bitch who kills people. Hathaway is a hot bitch who kills people.
One is a PG-13 comedy that takes the old school route of developing a complex plot for a comedy that requires a bit of thinking but keeps you laughing even though its a little less comedic than you might expect it to be.
The other is an R-rated action flick with completely IMPOSSIBLE SHIT that might make you laugh AT IT instead of with it at times but is geared towards a male audience. Its got guns, killing and Angelina Jolie.
Get Smart has a plot twist. Wanted has...you guessed it...a plot twist.
Get Smart has fast ass cars. Wanted has fast ass cars that flip.
Get Smart has a cool ass brotha in it named Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson. "Wanted" has a cool as brotha in it named Common.
Get Smart has gadgets and cool ass James Bond shit. Wanted has bullets that curve, break away and throw the physics of bullets completely out of the window.
Fuck with Get Smart if you are seeking comedy relief, fairly good acting, star cameos with some action in it and long for the old days where the good guy gets the bad guy without being a fucked up wreck at the end.
Fuck with Wanted if you want to see some off the wall assassin shit where a young mutha fucka with a fucked up life, a boring job and dirty whore of a girlfriend grows into a killing machine and wrecks shit with a fine bitch by his side for about an hour. So, in conclusion you have two decent contenders (Fuck the Love Guru) dukin' it out for the crown this weekend. If I had to pay full price, I have to give the edge to "Get Smart". It was a "smarter" movie and even though it had a couple of ridiculous scenes, I thought it made for a better bang-for-your-buck movie. "Wanted" is pure flash and adrenaline. To be honest, I'd pay matinee prices just to hear Morgan Freeman say "Mutha Fucka" again! I almost forgot that "Easy Reader" was also Fast Black from "Street Smart". Still, if you have any great expectations for a spectacular plot line, you will leave "Wanted" pissed off. It ain't that deep. Really. Oh, it TRIED to be but...well...
"Get Smart" has more going on in the story and even though its a comedy, its still an espionage movie with a James Bond feel to it. Anne Hathaway did a damn good job in this movie as she shifted her acting style according to how her character (Agent 99) interacted with Agent 86. That's tricky to do. I was wrong about her being right for the Hulk as Betty Ross - she's overqualified for that role. Liv still can't act "smart" to save her life but I'm not gonna dwell on that shit.
You can take the kids to see Get Smart. I wouldn't take them to see Wanted if they are real young because of the assassinations. Its crazy "bullet-time" shit in this movie! Crazy shit. That's also why I'd have to say matinee that bitch if you go see it. Look at it like this:
Get Smart is a date. Wanted is a jump-off. You will get your nut at the end of Wanted but then you'd wanna kick that bitch out. With Get Smart, you'd want to take that chick to breakfast or at least let her sleep over.
If you didn't like Shoot Em Up, you probably won't like Wanted.
If you didn't like Mel Brooks style comedy, you probably won't like Get Smart.
If you don't like spending money, you probably won't like either one of these flicks because going to the movies is getting expensive as hell these days when you have to drive and pay for parking. Is anyone's fight at this point, but my money is on "Get Smart" - its like "Casino Royale" with funny. It will also win out in rewatch value (i.e. DVD sales). "Wanted" is cool but its like "Shoot Em Up", "Hitman" or "Crank"; if you expect anything more than fast-paced action then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. ONLY SEE "WANTED" IF YOU ARE IN THE MOOD FOR ACTION.
You've been warned. Oh - just in case you're wondering, no sex scenes in either movie and you only get a backshot of Angelina getting out of water in Wanted.
The women are teasing instead of pleasing this summer.
In one corner, weighing in at about 110 minutes is Wanted, starring the fuckin' faun from the Chronicles of Narnia, Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie.
In another corner, weighing in at about 2 hours is Get Smart, a movie remake of an old television show starring Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway...and Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson.
While I could give a full blow-by-blow on "Get Smart", I can't say jack shit about "Wanted" without giving away something, so I'm doin' it like this:
These two fighters are fairly well matched for a shot at being the top weekend warrior. Get Smart is smart, funny and has lots of references to the old show without being so overly-indulgent that you would have had to see every episode of the t.v. series to get the movie.
Wanted is action packed with over-the-top violence (think "Shoot Em Up") thats sure to fill any adrenaline junky's fix for the weekend.
McAvoy works in accounting services. Carell is an intel agent but more of a nerd than McAvoy.
Jolie is a hot bitch who kills people. Hathaway is a hot bitch who kills people.
One is a PG-13 comedy that takes the old school route of developing a complex plot for a comedy that requires a bit of thinking but keeps you laughing even though its a little less comedic than you might expect it to be.
The other is an R-rated action flick with completely IMPOSSIBLE SHIT that might make you laugh AT IT instead of with it at times but is geared towards a male audience. Its got guns, killing and Angelina Jolie.
Get Smart has a plot twist. Wanted has...you guessed it...a plot twist.
Get Smart has fast ass cars. Wanted has fast ass cars that flip.
Get Smart has a cool ass brotha in it named Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson. "Wanted" has a cool as brotha in it named Common.
Get Smart has gadgets and cool ass James Bond shit. Wanted has bullets that curve, break away and throw the physics of bullets completely out of the window.
Fuck with Get Smart if you are seeking comedy relief, fairly good acting, star cameos with some action in it and long for the old days where the good guy gets the bad guy without being a fucked up wreck at the end.
Fuck with Wanted if you want to see some off the wall assassin shit where a young mutha fucka with a fucked up life, a boring job and dirty whore of a girlfriend grows into a killing machine and wrecks shit with a fine bitch by his side for about an hour. So, in conclusion you have two decent contenders (Fuck the Love Guru) dukin' it out for the crown this weekend. If I had to pay full price, I have to give the edge to "Get Smart". It was a "smarter" movie and even though it had a couple of ridiculous scenes, I thought it made for a better bang-for-your-buck movie. "Wanted" is pure flash and adrenaline. To be honest, I'd pay matinee prices just to hear Morgan Freeman say "Mutha Fucka" again! I almost forgot that "Easy Reader" was also Fast Black from "Street Smart". Still, if you have any great expectations for a spectacular plot line, you will leave "Wanted" pissed off. It ain't that deep. Really. Oh, it TRIED to be but...well...
"Get Smart" has more going on in the story and even though its a comedy, its still an espionage movie with a James Bond feel to it. Anne Hathaway did a damn good job in this movie as she shifted her acting style according to how her character (Agent 99) interacted with Agent 86. That's tricky to do. I was wrong about her being right for the Hulk as Betty Ross - she's overqualified for that role. Liv still can't act "smart" to save her life but I'm not gonna dwell on that shit.
You can take the kids to see Get Smart. I wouldn't take them to see Wanted if they are real young because of the assassinations. Its crazy "bullet-time" shit in this movie! Crazy shit. That's also why I'd have to say matinee that bitch if you go see it. Look at it like this:
Get Smart is a date. Wanted is a jump-off. You will get your nut at the end of Wanted but then you'd wanna kick that bitch out. With Get Smart, you'd want to take that chick to breakfast or at least let her sleep over.
If you didn't like Shoot Em Up, you probably won't like Wanted.
If you didn't like Mel Brooks style comedy, you probably won't like Get Smart.
If you don't like spending money, you probably won't like either one of these flicks because going to the movies is getting expensive as hell these days when you have to drive and pay for parking. Is anyone's fight at this point, but my money is on "Get Smart" - its like "Casino Royale" with funny. It will also win out in rewatch value (i.e. DVD sales). "Wanted" is cool but its like "Shoot Em Up", "Hitman" or "Crank"; if you expect anything more than fast-paced action then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. ONLY SEE "WANTED" IF YOU ARE IN THE MOOD FOR ACTION.
You've been warned. Oh - just in case you're wondering, no sex scenes in either movie and you only get a backshot of Angelina getting out of water in Wanted.
The women are teasing instead of pleasing this summer.
Body Of Lies
I know what you're thinking. What? Another espionage movie?
Yes, another one. Body of Lies takes a journey through Jordan with Leonardo DiCaprio as a spy in the Middle East (and in my opinion an unconvincing one at that) who is doing guess what? Well if you've seen "The Kingdom" or "Traitor" you already know. Trying to get to the old man behind the boys setting off the bombs.
You know how this shit works. Don't front. Russell Crowe puts it down as Ed, Leo's boss, who is a cold, ruthless bastard who spends most of his time being a good father to his children. Seriously, most of the movie, he's taking his kids to school or to soccer games while giving Leo orders to fuck shit up. Leo plays a dude named Roger who is trying to find himself and his place in the world while going on missions to try to get to the bottom of the latest, greatest terrorist organization. Riiight. :rolleyes: In the meantime, he meets a banging little Iranian chick named Aisha (sounds like a sista's name :D ) and is trying to establish a life for himself outside of his work.
Now, I have to say I enjoyed the movie because as with most of these espionage movies, it has a good story. I thought "Traitor" and "The Kingdom" were better in certain ways overall but this one doesn't suck. Its good. Russell Crowe proves that he's ten times the actor that Leo is by playing a very convincing southern redneck turned CIA bureaucrat. Russell is all about "fuck 'em and fry 'em while Leo, being in the midst of all of the shit, is much more sympathetic to the people and what's going on in the real Arab world.
Leonardo is a hot and cold actor in my opinion. Sometimes he's really on point and sometimes he's "meh". Although he's been is some really good movies (including this one), he still comes off as some chick's little brother to me. This role was a step back from his performance in "Blood Diamond", where I think he actually showed some A list acting chops. That may well have been Leo's best work as an actor.
Anyway, under Ridley Scott's direction, you already know this movie is gonna take number one at the box office this weekend. You may as well fuck with it if you're gonna fuck with anything else in this realm. If I had to choose between this and Eagle Eye, I'd pick this for the story and Eagle Eye for the action. If I had to watch one over again, it would be this one. I'm sure it'll get an academy nod while Traitor (the better of these two in my opinion) might just slip by the academy. We'll see.
Its worth the money to go see it anytime. Of course there's no nudity but there are a couple of rough death scenes and a torture scene or two that's cringe-worthy.
The movie is too heavy for children. Don't take 'em.
Its a good flick; worth fuckin' with if you're going to spend money on a movie. Its right at the two hour mark, so piss before you watch it.
Oh, here's a bonus review:
If you were thinking of watching Quarantine - don't. Let me save you the trouble. It is a complete, almost shot-for-shot remake of this Spanish horror movie called [REC]. You can either rent it or if you have a rapidshare account, fuck with it that way. [REC] came out in 2007 and they remade that mutha fucka and dropped it THIS YEAR! Ain't that a bitch? Fuck with the original. Its in Spanish but the subtitles are hardcoded into the film. Its okay. Its like 28 Days Later taking place in one apartment building, shot with one camera, "reality" style.
[REC] 2007 DVDRip
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191612/r.07.sub.hard.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191432/r.07.sub.hard.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191480/r.07.sub.hard.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204129/r.07.sub.hard.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204435/r.07.sub.hard.part5.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204121/r.07.sub.hard.part6.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204368/r.07.sub.hard.part7.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109212137/r.07.sub.hard.part8.rar
Yes, another one. Body of Lies takes a journey through Jordan with Leonardo DiCaprio as a spy in the Middle East (and in my opinion an unconvincing one at that) who is doing guess what? Well if you've seen "The Kingdom" or "Traitor" you already know. Trying to get to the old man behind the boys setting off the bombs.
You know how this shit works. Don't front. Russell Crowe puts it down as Ed, Leo's boss, who is a cold, ruthless bastard who spends most of his time being a good father to his children. Seriously, most of the movie, he's taking his kids to school or to soccer games while giving Leo orders to fuck shit up. Leo plays a dude named Roger who is trying to find himself and his place in the world while going on missions to try to get to the bottom of the latest, greatest terrorist organization. Riiight. :rolleyes: In the meantime, he meets a banging little Iranian chick named Aisha (sounds like a sista's name :D ) and is trying to establish a life for himself outside of his work.
Now, I have to say I enjoyed the movie because as with most of these espionage movies, it has a good story. I thought "Traitor" and "The Kingdom" were better in certain ways overall but this one doesn't suck. Its good. Russell Crowe proves that he's ten times the actor that Leo is by playing a very convincing southern redneck turned CIA bureaucrat. Russell is all about "fuck 'em and fry 'em while Leo, being in the midst of all of the shit, is much more sympathetic to the people and what's going on in the real Arab world.
Leonardo is a hot and cold actor in my opinion. Sometimes he's really on point and sometimes he's "meh". Although he's been is some really good movies (including this one), he still comes off as some chick's little brother to me. This role was a step back from his performance in "Blood Diamond", where I think he actually showed some A list acting chops. That may well have been Leo's best work as an actor.
Anyway, under Ridley Scott's direction, you already know this movie is gonna take number one at the box office this weekend. You may as well fuck with it if you're gonna fuck with anything else in this realm. If I had to choose between this and Eagle Eye, I'd pick this for the story and Eagle Eye for the action. If I had to watch one over again, it would be this one. I'm sure it'll get an academy nod while Traitor (the better of these two in my opinion) might just slip by the academy. We'll see.
Its worth the money to go see it anytime. Of course there's no nudity but there are a couple of rough death scenes and a torture scene or two that's cringe-worthy.
The movie is too heavy for children. Don't take 'em.
Its a good flick; worth fuckin' with if you're going to spend money on a movie. Its right at the two hour mark, so piss before you watch it.
Oh, here's a bonus review:
If you were thinking of watching Quarantine - don't. Let me save you the trouble. It is a complete, almost shot-for-shot remake of this Spanish horror movie called [REC]. You can either rent it or if you have a rapidshare account, fuck with it that way. [REC] came out in 2007 and they remade that mutha fucka and dropped it THIS YEAR! Ain't that a bitch? Fuck with the original. Its in Spanish but the subtitles are hardcoded into the film. Its okay. Its like 28 Days Later taking place in one apartment building, shot with one camera, "reality" style.
[REC] 2007 DVDRip
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191612/r.07.sub.hard.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191432/r.07.sub.hard.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109191480/r.07.sub.hard.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204129/r.07.sub.hard.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204435/r.07.sub.hard.part5.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204121/r.07.sub.hard.part6.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109204368/r.07.sub.hard.part7.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/109212137/r.07.sub.hard.part8.rar
Appaloosa
Has your town been overrun by gangsters? Did they kill your sheriff and his deputies? Do they come in and do what ever they want to and take whatever they want to? Well, if that's your situation, you may wanna employ the services of someone like Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and his trusty sidekick Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen).
Ed Harris plays Virgil Cole, a "lawman for hire" who often fumbles his vocabulary who, with his buddy Everett (Vigo) cruise around the wild west in search of what would today be considered basically security service jobs. A town called Appaloosa gets overrun by the henchmen of a man by the name of Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) who's good manners and seemingly laid back demeanor hide a vicious, dirty, low down mutha fucka. The heads of the town employ Virgil and Everett to take it back. Vigo declares martial law on the town (so he can shoot whoever he needs to) and they get busy. That's basically the story line.
In comes Renee Zellweger who plays a character named Allison French, who is somewhat mysterious with somewhat questionable morals. She eventually takes a liking to who? Of course - Virgil Cole. I think its not too hard to figure these things out. Its a damn western!
Now, Hollywood hit a home run with 3:10 to Yuma. It was an action packed movie with very interesting characters and gunfights and chase scenes. This movie is very different. It moves at the pace of a horse's trot, takes place mostly in town and has more comedy than action. Now, don't get me wrong - its not a comedy. Its just that there are a lot of funny lines in this movie in the dialog exchange between Ed and Vigo and between the two of them and others. They had great onscreen chemistry and had no problem convincing an audience that they'd been friends for a long time.
This flick seemed more like what you would call a realistic depiction of the old west. There was a lot of time spent on porches, no one in the movie was in that big of a hurry to do anything and the pace was a lot slower than an action western like 3:10 To Yuma. This film focused on the characters and gave more of a realistic depiction of how things probably went down back in the day. What I especially found interesting was the way the gunfights were carried out. There was much more etiquette than what is normally displayed in most westerns. Given the fact that etiquette dictated a great deal in the early years of America, I actually didn't find it hard to believe at all.
Now - what I didn't like about the movie.
I have a great deal of respect for Jeremy Irons. He's a good actor who has played a lot of different roles. I liked his character in this movie but I really had a hard time getting past his British accent slips. I just couldn't imagine a rich, British mutha fucka like him out in the middle of nowhere. Early on in the movie, they mention that he is friends with the President of the U.S., too? Aw, HELL NAW! Well, since he had about 15-20 henchmen at his beck and call, I guess I could let that slide. I guess he was doing the big fish in a small pond thang. Whateva.
Secondly and most unbelievably was Renee Zellweger. Okay, this broad was basically the vixen of the movie! Yeah, you heard me! Renee fuckin' Zellweger! Git the fuck outta here, right? I know! While there was one other woman in the movie besides Renee (well, and the maid), the Spanish hotel whore that Vigo was fucking, Renee was the one who had the loosest booty in the movie. Now while I have nothing against Renee personally, you'd think that a bitch with a name like Allison French would be a little more...hotter? Sexier? Cuter? Hell, let's not bullshit ourselves, Renee is the chick you go home with at the very end of the night who has to be out by morning and you don't keep her number unless she knows some tricks or something. Like I said, it was a realistic view of the old west. I guess any bitch who bathes every night, wears dresses and perfume and knows how to cook, clean and play the piano was a catch in a small ass town like Appaloosa.Still, I would have cast someone else if it were me.
Unless you like Westerns, I wouldn't suggest this movie. I thought it was a pretty good flick but I still won't recommend it. Its slow and that can be a turn off to most of today's movie goers. I found the dialog entertaining and the acting (especially between Vigo and Ed) was primo but this is not one for the mainstream. Also, at times the direction seems a bit scattered and less focused. There are points where you feel like you are just looking at peoples' lives rather than a movie and you are waiting for shit to happen.
This film in my opinion, is a rental for people who kinda like westerns or kinda like Vigo Mortensen or kinda like Ed Harris. I know this is going to sound conflicting but would I watch it again? Yep. There is some great dialog in the movie and I'd watch it again just for that. I think it was a good movie. Still, unless you are into the above mentioned, I'd have to say skip it and wait for the DVD or cable (most likely HBO) showing of it. Its worth watching, but it ain't got none of "us" in it AT ALL. The few Indians it had in it were bit parts and that's about as ethnically diverse as this movie got. Well, there was the Mexican maid.
Unless you have a fetish for seeing the back of Renee Zellweger's saggy no-ass, [well, there's a nipple shot through an almost see-through top of the Spanish chick Vigo was fucking (Ariadna Gil) but that's about it] you might wanna pass on expecting nudity. There's a couple of words here and there and Ed Harris sings halfway through the end credits but overall, its not that explicit. Its not even that violent compared to other westerns. Its a safe movie to see but overall, most folk who didn't grow up watching western reruns when they were younger probably won't relate to or like this flick. If you are 30 or over, you remember when the old westerns came on on Saturdays after the cartoons, so you're prepped for what's to come if you choose to see it. I say hold out till it hits HBO or DVD.
Ed Harris plays Virgil Cole, a "lawman for hire" who often fumbles his vocabulary who, with his buddy Everett (Vigo) cruise around the wild west in search of what would today be considered basically security service jobs. A town called Appaloosa gets overrun by the henchmen of a man by the name of Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) who's good manners and seemingly laid back demeanor hide a vicious, dirty, low down mutha fucka. The heads of the town employ Virgil and Everett to take it back. Vigo declares martial law on the town (so he can shoot whoever he needs to) and they get busy. That's basically the story line.
In comes Renee Zellweger who plays a character named Allison French, who is somewhat mysterious with somewhat questionable morals. She eventually takes a liking to who? Of course - Virgil Cole. I think its not too hard to figure these things out. Its a damn western!
Now, Hollywood hit a home run with 3:10 to Yuma. It was an action packed movie with very interesting characters and gunfights and chase scenes. This movie is very different. It moves at the pace of a horse's trot, takes place mostly in town and has more comedy than action. Now, don't get me wrong - its not a comedy. Its just that there are a lot of funny lines in this movie in the dialog exchange between Ed and Vigo and between the two of them and others. They had great onscreen chemistry and had no problem convincing an audience that they'd been friends for a long time.
This flick seemed more like what you would call a realistic depiction of the old west. There was a lot of time spent on porches, no one in the movie was in that big of a hurry to do anything and the pace was a lot slower than an action western like 3:10 To Yuma. This film focused on the characters and gave more of a realistic depiction of how things probably went down back in the day. What I especially found interesting was the way the gunfights were carried out. There was much more etiquette than what is normally displayed in most westerns. Given the fact that etiquette dictated a great deal in the early years of America, I actually didn't find it hard to believe at all.
Now - what I didn't like about the movie.
I have a great deal of respect for Jeremy Irons. He's a good actor who has played a lot of different roles. I liked his character in this movie but I really had a hard time getting past his British accent slips. I just couldn't imagine a rich, British mutha fucka like him out in the middle of nowhere. Early on in the movie, they mention that he is friends with the President of the U.S., too? Aw, HELL NAW! Well, since he had about 15-20 henchmen at his beck and call, I guess I could let that slide. I guess he was doing the big fish in a small pond thang. Whateva.
Secondly and most unbelievably was Renee Zellweger. Okay, this broad was basically the vixen of the movie! Yeah, you heard me! Renee fuckin' Zellweger! Git the fuck outta here, right? I know! While there was one other woman in the movie besides Renee (well, and the maid), the Spanish hotel whore that Vigo was fucking, Renee was the one who had the loosest booty in the movie. Now while I have nothing against Renee personally, you'd think that a bitch with a name like Allison French would be a little more...hotter? Sexier? Cuter? Hell, let's not bullshit ourselves, Renee is the chick you go home with at the very end of the night who has to be out by morning and you don't keep her number unless she knows some tricks or something. Like I said, it was a realistic view of the old west. I guess any bitch who bathes every night, wears dresses and perfume and knows how to cook, clean and play the piano was a catch in a small ass town like Appaloosa.Still, I would have cast someone else if it were me.
Unless you like Westerns, I wouldn't suggest this movie. I thought it was a pretty good flick but I still won't recommend it. Its slow and that can be a turn off to most of today's movie goers. I found the dialog entertaining and the acting (especially between Vigo and Ed) was primo but this is not one for the mainstream. Also, at times the direction seems a bit scattered and less focused. There are points where you feel like you are just looking at peoples' lives rather than a movie and you are waiting for shit to happen.
This film in my opinion, is a rental for people who kinda like westerns or kinda like Vigo Mortensen or kinda like Ed Harris. I know this is going to sound conflicting but would I watch it again? Yep. There is some great dialog in the movie and I'd watch it again just for that. I think it was a good movie. Still, unless you are into the above mentioned, I'd have to say skip it and wait for the DVD or cable (most likely HBO) showing of it. Its worth watching, but it ain't got none of "us" in it AT ALL. The few Indians it had in it were bit parts and that's about as ethnically diverse as this movie got. Well, there was the Mexican maid.
Unless you have a fetish for seeing the back of Renee Zellweger's saggy no-ass, [well, there's a nipple shot through an almost see-through top of the Spanish chick Vigo was fucking (Ariadna Gil) but that's about it] you might wanna pass on expecting nudity. There's a couple of words here and there and Ed Harris sings halfway through the end credits but overall, its not that explicit. Its not even that violent compared to other westerns. Its a safe movie to see but overall, most folk who didn't grow up watching western reruns when they were younger probably won't relate to or like this flick. If you are 30 or over, you remember when the old westerns came on on Saturdays after the cartoons, so you're prepped for what's to come if you choose to see it. I say hold out till it hits HBO or DVD.
Blindness
I went into this film expecting something profound and moving and deep.
Everybody goes blind due to some unexplained reason except for one person - Julianne Moore. She's the wife of an eye doctor who gets the "white blindness" from an Asian guy who comes into his office after going blind in his car. Subsequently, you see everyone who visited him and everyone from his office eventually in this "zone" that can be described basically as a quarantine camp. The movie is basically an character study of what happens when something disrupts the social order on a massive scale. To keep it real, I didn't like this shit. Oh, I got it. I got the message of the frailty of the human condition and how people can become under stressful situations. I just didn't like it. This movie was so busy trying to make a point that it forgot to be a movie. I know I'm supposed to praise it and shit because the guy that did City Of God, an actual brilliant movie, did this one and I'm supposed to call him a "genius" and shit.
Fuck that. This movie was some boring, lukewarm, artsy-fartsy assed BULLSHIT.
Even seeing Alice Braga naked was less than thrilling and Julianne Moore should keep her clothes on - even in the shower. Yes, there is a nude shower scene with three women in it. No there is no lez shit going on. No its not "hot". Moving right along. I'm not even going to review this shit properly because it doesn't deserve a bunch of words. Its not too hard to say BORING and WACK. The only people who will think this shit is genius are dumbed down, brain-dead idiots and pseudo-intellectuals who will say it was great for cool points among their peers.
Save your money. Save your bandwidth. Don't pay to see this shit. Don't even waste rapidshare bandwidth downloading it. Its fucking stupid.
If everybody else is blind and you can see, who's running shit? YOU. You would think. Not this bitch. Nope. She fell in line with the social protocol of anarchy within the camp and even allowed herself to be raped. YES, I said ALLOWED HERSELF. (Blind muh fuckas formed a gang and was rationing food out and decided that women had to fuck for food)
This shit is too stupid to accept and so busy trying to be meaningful that as a movie, it ended up sucking.
Do yourselves a favor and turn a blind eye to "Blindness". Wait till the shit comes on t.v. Its not even a decent rental. Fuck that garbage.
I want my two hours back.
Next time somebody writes a movie about "white blindness", they need to let Spike Lee direct it. The white blindness they need to be making movies about will never get made. I'm talkin' bout the real "white blindness that goes on in our society on the regular.
Racial social exclusion. Where's THAT fuckin' movie, huh?
Everybody goes blind due to some unexplained reason except for one person - Julianne Moore. She's the wife of an eye doctor who gets the "white blindness" from an Asian guy who comes into his office after going blind in his car. Subsequently, you see everyone who visited him and everyone from his office eventually in this "zone" that can be described basically as a quarantine camp. The movie is basically an character study of what happens when something disrupts the social order on a massive scale. To keep it real, I didn't like this shit. Oh, I got it. I got the message of the frailty of the human condition and how people can become under stressful situations. I just didn't like it. This movie was so busy trying to make a point that it forgot to be a movie. I know I'm supposed to praise it and shit because the guy that did City Of God, an actual brilliant movie, did this one and I'm supposed to call him a "genius" and shit.
Fuck that. This movie was some boring, lukewarm, artsy-fartsy assed BULLSHIT.
Even seeing Alice Braga naked was less than thrilling and Julianne Moore should keep her clothes on - even in the shower. Yes, there is a nude shower scene with three women in it. No there is no lez shit going on. No its not "hot". Moving right along. I'm not even going to review this shit properly because it doesn't deserve a bunch of words. Its not too hard to say BORING and WACK. The only people who will think this shit is genius are dumbed down, brain-dead idiots and pseudo-intellectuals who will say it was great for cool points among their peers.
Save your money. Save your bandwidth. Don't pay to see this shit. Don't even waste rapidshare bandwidth downloading it. Its fucking stupid.
If everybody else is blind and you can see, who's running shit? YOU. You would think. Not this bitch. Nope. She fell in line with the social protocol of anarchy within the camp and even allowed herself to be raped. YES, I said ALLOWED HERSELF. (Blind muh fuckas formed a gang and was rationing food out and decided that women had to fuck for food)
This shit is too stupid to accept and so busy trying to be meaningful that as a movie, it ended up sucking.
Do yourselves a favor and turn a blind eye to "Blindness". Wait till the shit comes on t.v. Its not even a decent rental. Fuck that garbage.
I want my two hours back.
Next time somebody writes a movie about "white blindness", they need to let Spike Lee direct it. The white blindness they need to be making movies about will never get made. I'm talkin' bout the real "white blindness that goes on in our society on the regular.
Racial social exclusion. Where's THAT fuckin' movie, huh?
Eagle Eye
Hey Neo, Skynet just made you an Enemy of the State - what cha gonna do now?
I wanna sit here and tell you that Eagle Eye is the break out movie of the year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye is one of the best action films I've seen this year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye will blow you away.
But I don't want to lie to you.
This movie is a Hollywood hacktastic, hactacular, hackbuster. They rehashed so many other flicks you can literally point out the movies they stole ideas from and make it a trivia game. The plot is actually not bad but the devices they use to get you through it are all-too familiar. Hell, I was waiting for that mutha fucka Shia LaFluff to use the force at some point. Hell, they did everything else.
This movie has more action than you can shake a stick at. Really. It does. I got eye strain watching this shit. Plot? Yeah, there's one but it doesn't unfold immediately. They slip it in midway through the movie. Acting? I'm bout sick of Shia's ass. He needs to chill after Transformers 2 and take a break. Then he should play a serial killer or something. As usual, the real acting is done by the vet - Billy Bob Thorton. Rosario did okay. Kinda stiff and no nudity - not even a damn shoulder or back shot. She was in uniform the whole flick. She did play off Anthony Mackie well, though. Is it just me or has she completely avoided looking sexy after "Rent"? I know she's trying to be seen as a strong woman and all but damn if she ain't overdoing that shit.
Michelle Monaghan has doomed herself to mommy role hell with this movie. She may as well sign a contract with the Lifetime Channel and call it a career. MI-3 was it for her.
If it seems like I'm dancing around describing the flick, its because I am. The first sentence was enough. Anything outside of that would be a spoiler.
A word of warning if you are thinking of seeing this movie:
YOU MUST SUSPEND ALL BELIEF BEFORE GOING IN.
If you don't there's a good chance you will hate it.
I went for the action. I was satisfied. Is it a good movie? Well, that's a matter of opinion. (not mine) Is it a "thrill ride"? Hell yes. Shit's almost non-stop.
You might get tired of Shia LaBeouf's annoying ass but if you're into action, this one is full of it (Think Die Hard 4 level and then some).
My biggest issue with this flick is how these Hollyweird hacks jammed so many other movie ideas into this one. If you can let that slide, along with over the top action sequences with impossible outcomes like people walking away unscathed from explosive car crashes, then you might just like this movie.
Please, do yourself a favor and don't try to find the logic, science or physics in this movie. If you do, you will hate it. Just hop in, go along for the ride and jump off when you get dizzy (which should be about 10 minutes in).
There's no sex, no nudity and not that much foul language, so its basically kid-safe. Unfortunately, there's no titillation at all, so all of us fellas are stuck to enjoying the action, but they give you a triple dose to make up for it.
I'm guessing Miracle At St. Anna - Spike Lee's new joint is probably the best bet for the weekend. Again, I passed on a good flick in favor of an okay one. I heard "Choke" was funny, too. I didn't see it myself, though. I'd say go catch Towelhead or Miracle At St. Anna if you want to get your deep, thought-provoking flick on. (I have seen neither, so proceed with caution) I think if you're looking for an action flick this week - this is probably your only decent option. Its not a bad option, but it is what it is: an adrenaline shot with a rehashed plot.
How many government conspiracy movies can you see before you get fed up?
Well, this weekend you'll get the chance to add one to the list. Thumbs? Meh. I've probably written more than enough already. I'd call it a thumbs up for action junkies only.
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I wanna sit here and tell you that Eagle Eye is the break out movie of the year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye is one of the best action films I've seen this year.
I wanna tell you that Eagle Eye will blow you away.
But I don't want to lie to you.
This movie is a Hollywood hacktastic, hactacular, hackbuster. They rehashed so many other flicks you can literally point out the movies they stole ideas from and make it a trivia game. The plot is actually not bad but the devices they use to get you through it are all-too familiar. Hell, I was waiting for that mutha fucka Shia LaFluff to use the force at some point. Hell, they did everything else.
This movie has more action than you can shake a stick at. Really. It does. I got eye strain watching this shit. Plot? Yeah, there's one but it doesn't unfold immediately. They slip it in midway through the movie. Acting? I'm bout sick of Shia's ass. He needs to chill after Transformers 2 and take a break. Then he should play a serial killer or something. As usual, the real acting is done by the vet - Billy Bob Thorton. Rosario did okay. Kinda stiff and no nudity - not even a damn shoulder or back shot. She was in uniform the whole flick. She did play off Anthony Mackie well, though. Is it just me or has she completely avoided looking sexy after "Rent"? I know she's trying to be seen as a strong woman and all but damn if she ain't overdoing that shit.
Michelle Monaghan has doomed herself to mommy role hell with this movie. She may as well sign a contract with the Lifetime Channel and call it a career. MI-3 was it for her.
If it seems like I'm dancing around describing the flick, its because I am. The first sentence was enough. Anything outside of that would be a spoiler.
A word of warning if you are thinking of seeing this movie:
YOU MUST SUSPEND ALL BELIEF BEFORE GOING IN.
If you don't there's a good chance you will hate it.
I went for the action. I was satisfied. Is it a good movie? Well, that's a matter of opinion. (not mine) Is it a "thrill ride"? Hell yes. Shit's almost non-stop.
You might get tired of Shia LaBeouf's annoying ass but if you're into action, this one is full of it (Think Die Hard 4 level and then some).
My biggest issue with this flick is how these Hollyweird hacks jammed so many other movie ideas into this one. If you can let that slide, along with over the top action sequences with impossible outcomes like people walking away unscathed from explosive car crashes, then you might just like this movie.
Please, do yourself a favor and don't try to find the logic, science or physics in this movie. If you do, you will hate it. Just hop in, go along for the ride and jump off when you get dizzy (which should be about 10 minutes in).
There's no sex, no nudity and not that much foul language, so its basically kid-safe. Unfortunately, there's no titillation at all, so all of us fellas are stuck to enjoying the action, but they give you a triple dose to make up for it.
I'm guessing Miracle At St. Anna - Spike Lee's new joint is probably the best bet for the weekend. Again, I passed on a good flick in favor of an okay one. I heard "Choke" was funny, too. I didn't see it myself, though. I'd say go catch Towelhead or Miracle At St. Anna if you want to get your deep, thought-provoking flick on. (I have seen neither, so proceed with caution) I think if you're looking for an action flick this week - this is probably your only decent option. Its not a bad option, but it is what it is: an adrenaline shot with a rehashed plot.
How many government conspiracy movies can you see before you get fed up?
Well, this weekend you'll get the chance to add one to the list. Thumbs? Meh. I've probably written more than enough already. I'd call it a thumbs up for action junkies only.
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Lakeview Terrace
Fuck Lakeview Terrace. I mean it. I really mean it. I try to be unbiased in reviewing shit but this piece of Lifetime Channel bullshit can kiss my ass. For real, you will see this shit on either the Lifetime or Oxygen channel in the next year or so. Just in case one of you mutha fuckas has lost your balls and your wife/girlfriend/jumpoff is dragging you to the movies to see this shit, I will TRY not to spoil it too much.
This was a bullshit, done to death plot with nothing more than a "black twist" of characters to push the "poor white victim" mentality onto the masses so white folks can cheer for "the white man". Samuel plays a cop who is probably a bit on the obsessive compulsive side who takes a disdain towards his new neighbors and decides to press it and the whole thing blows out of proportion. The scenario is bullshit even though its plausible. Samuel's character isn't necessarily a bad cop, although he gets in some trouble. He roughs up a suspect that shot at him twice (which we all know is grounds for "lead poisoning" with the LAPD) while giving him a speech on being a responsible father. It was just a punch to the ribs and a threat. Don't worry, that doesn't play heavily into the movie's plot so its not that big of a spoiler.
They try to be politically correct with this shit because they build a slight case in favor of Samuel by the shit that goes wrong in his life. STILL, they eventually make it a clearer case against him when they pump up the aggression. Kerry Washington annoyed the shit out of me in this. Her character is stereotypical of a sista who dates white boys, complete with the over-accentuating of words to sound as "proper" as possible. (It fits because she actually talks like that) Ron Glass was an "uppity negroe" and seemed to be the black equivalent of the typical rich white dude in the movies. He plays Kerry's father who doesn't approve of her and Chris being together. Patrick Wilson, who plays Chris, has one character flaw, which is really more of a fear than a flaw. Other than that, he's the typical white guy who gets shit from the "niggas" for being with a sista.
Whateva. Fuck outta here, cracka.
Anyway, Samuel is basically a bully with a badge who fucks with them. He's also a stern father over his two children who live with him.
They at least made an attempt to make Abel (Samuel) three-dimensional but he was still technically the "bad guy".
I won't even start on the subliminals in this movie. All I can say is that I wouldn't spend two cents on this shit. Hollywood can take this propaganda bullshit and shove it up their ass. Fuckin' devils. If the cop had been white and the couple had been BM/WF, Hollywood wouldn't have made this movie. Hollywood rarely makes a BM/WF interracial couple have any substance to them. They are always either young teens or troubled or one one of them gets killed before the movie is over.
Y'all can go see this shit if you want to but I wouldn't fuck with it again. I suspect that "Towelhead", which also deals a little bit with the subject of interracial relationships (black and arab) and racism is probably a much better choice of movies.
Its hella movies droppin' this weekend; The Dutchess, Blindness, Appaloosa, Igor, My Best Friend's Girl, Ghost Town...my money is on the Western - Appaloosa. Lately, Hollywood has been trying to make some decent westerns. Don't waste your money on this Lakeview Terrace shit. Wait for it to come on Lifetime.
This was a bullshit, done to death plot with nothing more than a "black twist" of characters to push the "poor white victim" mentality onto the masses so white folks can cheer for "the white man". Samuel plays a cop who is probably a bit on the obsessive compulsive side who takes a disdain towards his new neighbors and decides to press it and the whole thing blows out of proportion. The scenario is bullshit even though its plausible. Samuel's character isn't necessarily a bad cop, although he gets in some trouble. He roughs up a suspect that shot at him twice (which we all know is grounds for "lead poisoning" with the LAPD) while giving him a speech on being a responsible father. It was just a punch to the ribs and a threat. Don't worry, that doesn't play heavily into the movie's plot so its not that big of a spoiler.
They try to be politically correct with this shit because they build a slight case in favor of Samuel by the shit that goes wrong in his life. STILL, they eventually make it a clearer case against him when they pump up the aggression. Kerry Washington annoyed the shit out of me in this. Her character is stereotypical of a sista who dates white boys, complete with the over-accentuating of words to sound as "proper" as possible. (It fits because she actually talks like that) Ron Glass was an "uppity negroe" and seemed to be the black equivalent of the typical rich white dude in the movies. He plays Kerry's father who doesn't approve of her and Chris being together. Patrick Wilson, who plays Chris, has one character flaw, which is really more of a fear than a flaw. Other than that, he's the typical white guy who gets shit from the "niggas" for being with a sista.
Whateva. Fuck outta here, cracka.
Anyway, Samuel is basically a bully with a badge who fucks with them. He's also a stern father over his two children who live with him.
They at least made an attempt to make Abel (Samuel) three-dimensional but he was still technically the "bad guy".
I won't even start on the subliminals in this movie. All I can say is that I wouldn't spend two cents on this shit. Hollywood can take this propaganda bullshit and shove it up their ass. Fuckin' devils. If the cop had been white and the couple had been BM/WF, Hollywood wouldn't have made this movie. Hollywood rarely makes a BM/WF interracial couple have any substance to them. They are always either young teens or troubled or one one of them gets killed before the movie is over.
Y'all can go see this shit if you want to but I wouldn't fuck with it again. I suspect that "Towelhead", which also deals a little bit with the subject of interracial relationships (black and arab) and racism is probably a much better choice of movies.
Its hella movies droppin' this weekend; The Dutchess, Blindness, Appaloosa, Igor, My Best Friend's Girl, Ghost Town...my money is on the Western - Appaloosa. Lately, Hollywood has been trying to make some decent westerns. Don't waste your money on this Lakeview Terrace shit. Wait for it to come on Lifetime.
Hancock
Who's going to see Hancock? Raise your hands! Who HAS to go see Hancock because the wife/girlfriend/bitch and/or kids want to go and your ass has to pay? Raise your hands. Who's going to see Hancock because they think its gonna be off the chain? Raise your hands.
Now, everybody from group 1 and group 3 put your hands down and save your money for the DVD.
Now first off, let's get some things straight up in this bitch. Will Smith is my nigga. He has the life that many black men want - he's one of the 5 highest paid actors in the U.S. He has a bangin' wife and beautiful kids. Most of the world respects him because they watched him go from nothing to something by hard work in his field. He managed to do all of that without slangin' yayo or having to have to step on a bunch of necks to get there. In effect, Will Smith is somewhat of a "superhero" in his own right. Any successful black man who comes up in that way is (see: Barack Obama, etc.) I wanted to make it clear that I am not shitting on Will Smith the man.
Now that that's clear - this movie was some emotionally driven bullshit. Its a chick flick with a superhero in it. Its a kid's movie. One of the things that can make or break a superhero movie is a good villian. This one doesn't have it. The 2003 Hulk didn't either and look how that went. I wouldn't say the movie sucks but its an action-comedy. Naw, fuck that Hollywood media term bullshit. You know what this movie is? Its a special effects children's story with funny parts in it. Basically, Hancock is a lone hero in the world who is looking for acceptance. The nigga has emotional problems. He drinks all the time because he is depressed. He is depressed because he's somewhat of a fuck-up even though he's a hero. He's somewhat of a fuck-up because he stopped caring when people stopped appreciating him and started picking at all of his flaws no matter what he did. This movie should have been called "What if Superman was a nigga". Basically everyone treats him like a nigg(er) regardless of what he tries to do. He saves Jason Bateman's life, who just so happens to work in public relations and decides to try to help Hancock get a better public image. One of those things involved guess what? What do all white folk want us to do when they can't control us? Yep. He has to GO TO JAIL. I found this particular part of the movie annoying and couldn't help but think "they would have never asked Superman to go to jail for wrecking shit". Even Mr. Incredible from the Incredibles didn't have to do time. How much time did Tony Stark have to do? Did Spider-Man do a bid? The Thing? Nope. The big fear that I have about this movie is that most of mainstream white America - who its aimed at - is not going to truly understand that there is an underlying message about life as a black man in this movie and because this movie failed to properly delve into it (of course it wouldn't - its basically a kid's movie), people will only feel sorry for Hancock instead of understanding the perspective that he lives from. Its all about "if this supernigga would just live within the parameters we set for him, everything will be okay" and to a lesser extent, that's how life really is for many of us. Assimilate or there will be trouble. If you do, there's a small reward of acknowledgment and semi-acceptance in it for you. But, I digress.
Anyway, more shit happens that I can't disclose without spoiling the movie. He discovers that he knows someone from way back. Eventually he reveals that he has amnesia (that old shit again?) and can't remember who or what he is. All this self-realization and internal examination shit got on my nerves and amidst a bunch of "touching family moments" and "kid and 'Mean Joe' moments" (old school coke commercial) and "awww" moments they managed to work in some special effects. I think I only actually counted three deaths total. One doesn't count and the other two you can only assume they are dead because you didn't see them die - but its a safe assumption. This movie needed a super-villian BADLY! The only reason its not PG is because of the language. There's no nudity and all of the action is in shoot-outs where nobody dies and in displays of abilities by Hancock. To top it off, they throw in a star-crossed lovers type story. Now you KNOW Will ain't gettin' no pussy in a PG flick, right? Wesley would; Will? "Aw hell naw!"
Man, I want to say that this flick is great and everybody should go see it. I want to say that its better than "I Am Legend". In truth, all I can really say is that its good to take the kids to, your wife/girlfriend/bitch will probably like it more than you will and that Akiva Goldsman is a fuckin' hack writer/producer that needs to get the fuck outta the movie industry. Now that I've seen his face in this movie, maybe I can "loom" Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy into murking this mutha fucka. Did I just cross movies? Oops, sorry.
Hancock will probably do well at the box office but its not the summer blockbuster that most of Will's other movies have been. As it stands, if given the choice, I think I'd rather be Will Smith than Hancock and if given the choice to see them again for the first time, I'd rather see I Am Legend than Hancock. That's not a bad thing to me because I liked "I Am Legend". I'm just not down with the 'chick flcik wrapped in a superhero movie' theme that this movie carried. Don't invite me to John Hancock's pity party; invite me to Mike Lowery's pussy party.
DVD it if you can. Matinee it if you must. If you think I'm lyin' then you're an asshole. That's all I'mma say. Peace.
Now, everybody from group 1 and group 3 put your hands down and save your money for the DVD.
Now first off, let's get some things straight up in this bitch. Will Smith is my nigga. He has the life that many black men want - he's one of the 5 highest paid actors in the U.S. He has a bangin' wife and beautiful kids. Most of the world respects him because they watched him go from nothing to something by hard work in his field. He managed to do all of that without slangin' yayo or having to have to step on a bunch of necks to get there. In effect, Will Smith is somewhat of a "superhero" in his own right. Any successful black man who comes up in that way is (see: Barack Obama, etc.) I wanted to make it clear that I am not shitting on Will Smith the man.
Now that that's clear - this movie was some emotionally driven bullshit. Its a chick flick with a superhero in it. Its a kid's movie. One of the things that can make or break a superhero movie is a good villian. This one doesn't have it. The 2003 Hulk didn't either and look how that went. I wouldn't say the movie sucks but its an action-comedy. Naw, fuck that Hollywood media term bullshit. You know what this movie is? Its a special effects children's story with funny parts in it. Basically, Hancock is a lone hero in the world who is looking for acceptance. The nigga has emotional problems. He drinks all the time because he is depressed. He is depressed because he's somewhat of a fuck-up even though he's a hero. He's somewhat of a fuck-up because he stopped caring when people stopped appreciating him and started picking at all of his flaws no matter what he did. This movie should have been called "What if Superman was a nigga". Basically everyone treats him like a nigg(er) regardless of what he tries to do. He saves Jason Bateman's life, who just so happens to work in public relations and decides to try to help Hancock get a better public image. One of those things involved guess what? What do all white folk want us to do when they can't control us? Yep. He has to GO TO JAIL. I found this particular part of the movie annoying and couldn't help but think "they would have never asked Superman to go to jail for wrecking shit". Even Mr. Incredible from the Incredibles didn't have to do time. How much time did Tony Stark have to do? Did Spider-Man do a bid? The Thing? Nope. The big fear that I have about this movie is that most of mainstream white America - who its aimed at - is not going to truly understand that there is an underlying message about life as a black man in this movie and because this movie failed to properly delve into it (of course it wouldn't - its basically a kid's movie), people will only feel sorry for Hancock instead of understanding the perspective that he lives from. Its all about "if this supernigga would just live within the parameters we set for him, everything will be okay" and to a lesser extent, that's how life really is for many of us. Assimilate or there will be trouble. If you do, there's a small reward of acknowledgment and semi-acceptance in it for you. But, I digress.
Anyway, more shit happens that I can't disclose without spoiling the movie. He discovers that he knows someone from way back. Eventually he reveals that he has amnesia (that old shit again?) and can't remember who or what he is. All this self-realization and internal examination shit got on my nerves and amidst a bunch of "touching family moments" and "kid and 'Mean Joe' moments" (old school coke commercial) and "awww" moments they managed to work in some special effects. I think I only actually counted three deaths total. One doesn't count and the other two you can only assume they are dead because you didn't see them die - but its a safe assumption. This movie needed a super-villian BADLY! The only reason its not PG is because of the language. There's no nudity and all of the action is in shoot-outs where nobody dies and in displays of abilities by Hancock. To top it off, they throw in a star-crossed lovers type story. Now you KNOW Will ain't gettin' no pussy in a PG flick, right? Wesley would; Will? "Aw hell naw!"
Man, I want to say that this flick is great and everybody should go see it. I want to say that its better than "I Am Legend". In truth, all I can really say is that its good to take the kids to, your wife/girlfriend/bitch will probably like it more than you will and that Akiva Goldsman is a fuckin' hack writer/producer that needs to get the fuck outta the movie industry. Now that I've seen his face in this movie, maybe I can "loom" Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy into murking this mutha fucka. Did I just cross movies? Oops, sorry.
Hancock will probably do well at the box office but its not the summer blockbuster that most of Will's other movies have been. As it stands, if given the choice, I think I'd rather be Will Smith than Hancock and if given the choice to see them again for the first time, I'd rather see I Am Legend than Hancock. That's not a bad thing to me because I liked "I Am Legend". I'm just not down with the 'chick flcik wrapped in a superhero movie' theme that this movie carried. Don't invite me to John Hancock's pity party; invite me to Mike Lowery's pussy party.
DVD it if you can. Matinee it if you must. If you think I'm lyin' then you're an asshole. That's all I'mma say. Peace.
The first post
I'll be dropping an archive of some of my reviews so you busters can sample my style. If you dig the shit I drop, I'll be doing this shit on the regular. If you ain't feelin' me - cool. Fuck you. Bounce, bitch.
Like I said, I keeps it real up in chea!
There will be no pulling of punches, no restricting of language and no bullshitting.
Like I said, I keeps it real up in chea!
There will be no pulling of punches, no restricting of language and no bullshitting.
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