In the midst of all of the summer blockbusters comes a most unexpected piece of cinema - District 9.
District 9 is this year's Blood Diamond. Seriously. It is. I shit you not. They billed this joint as an action/sci-fi flick but it has some of the deepest social commentary of any major film released so far this year.
The story is told following a character named Wikus who gets the job of what is basically head of the "alien civil affairs" project that is overseeing a huge migration of aliens that came to Earth 20 years ago and reside just outside of the city of Johannesburg in an area called District 9. The aliens are malnourished and many are somewhat unruly and in need of medical care. They are set up in CAMPS. Any of this sound familiar? The company responsible for the project (called the MNU) also happens to be the biggest arms dealer in the world and are interested in alien weapon technology. The aliens interact with humans and tend to barter with Nigerian rebels. Starting to sound more familiar?
So, Wikus is responsible for getting them to sign forms that allow them to legally be migrated. Aliens? Sign forms? You know that's some bullshit, right? With the help of an army, he goes in and tries to get them to agree to move in 24 hours. Of course, not all of the aliens are happy with the idea of migration. (No shit). During the course of his journey, we see what is a mirror of what has happened with the refugee camps in Johannesburg. What I thought was going to be a an action packed Independence Day 2 kind of joint actually turned out to be more like Blood Diamonds. I can't say I'm the least bit disappointed. It draws attention to a bigger issue and also calls for the examination of the human condition and how it deals with the almost hand-in-hand existence of poverty and cruelty.
There is a lot of action in this film. There is also a deeper social commentary that absolutely has to be examined when discussing it. Since G.I. Joe had enough action for two movies, I'm glad that this movie took the direction it did.
Because I'm not a spoiler type, I can't go into more detail about what Wikus goes through without giving away important plot points. He befriends an alien and his son and the rest of the movie is about their journey. In all honesty, if you are one of those types who is into more sophisticated movies but has a secret penchant for death and destruction that needs filling from time-to-time, this movie is the stone to kill your two birds with.
I can't not recommend this movie. Its good. I can say that if you are expecting the same type of flick as G.I. Joe and Transformers, you've got another thing coming. I think the biggest letdown for many people will probably be that this movie isn't mindless enough. The trailers are purposely deceptive in order to get heads into the theaters. I can also say that you have to suspend belief going in as there are things that don't add up unless you allow for creative license. You can't enjoy a movie if you bring too many "whys" in with you. That being said, I say go see it. I may even fuck with it again after it hits the theaters. Its big budget, so big screen is the best outlet for it.
The CGI is damn good.
The story is damn good.
The movie is good overall. Just don't go in with the ID2 expectations and you won't be disappointed.
Peace.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
A Perfect Getaway
Well, well, well. So this is what you get when you put Hitman, Quintin from Bandidas and Alice from the Resident Evil movies together? Hmmm. Not bad. Not bad at all. Despite a done to death whos-the-killer style semi-action thriller premise, the actors turned what should have been a run-of-the-mill movie with straight to DVD potential into an interesting flick.
Set in Hawaii, the idea basically plays out like this: there's a killer couple who is lurking about after just committing murder on one of the islands. You (the audience) are presented with three sets of couples and you have to figure out who is the killer couple. Unfortunately for me, I figured it out about six minutes in. Despite that, the actors make it a very interesting story. Steve Zahn plays his usual somewhat awkward and quirky character. Milla is his newlywed wife who is caught up in the idea of enjoying the trip through the lovely landscape of Hawaii. On the way, they hastily offer this couple a ride - an ex-con and a hippie chick - and then rescind it and then re-offer after they have pissed off the ex-con. Yeah, they's funny-stylin' on 'em. A little further in the journey, they meet a slightly crazy ex-special ops cat (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend and from there its all about trying to figure out what's up.
The acting in this movie is pretty good. You get a full sense of the characters and the story is pretty well developed. To top it off, normally, these types of movies happen in a house in the middle of nowhere but having it happen in a tropical paradise adds a unique sense of reality to the movie.
Normally, I would say this shit is going straight to DVD but I actually enjoyed the movie. The acting is on point. Even though I figured it out early on, I still had fun watching. Its paced very well and has sparse moments of humor that really make the characters interesting. Now I probably wouldn't drop $10-11 a head to see this joint at night but this would make a good matinee and a damn good rental. I already know this joint is gonna get slept on. It shouldn't, but it will. If you like mysteries with a light feel to them, this is your flick. I almost didn't fuck with it but I'm glad I did. Unfortunately, there's not much flesh in this film from the women folk, so its kinda safe but there are some pretty ugly flesh wounds so the gore factor is not exactly at the bottom end.
All in all, its a good joint to fuck with if you are looking for a flick this weekend.
Set in Hawaii, the idea basically plays out like this: there's a killer couple who is lurking about after just committing murder on one of the islands. You (the audience) are presented with three sets of couples and you have to figure out who is the killer couple. Unfortunately for me, I figured it out about six minutes in. Despite that, the actors make it a very interesting story. Steve Zahn plays his usual somewhat awkward and quirky character. Milla is his newlywed wife who is caught up in the idea of enjoying the trip through the lovely landscape of Hawaii. On the way, they hastily offer this couple a ride - an ex-con and a hippie chick - and then rescind it and then re-offer after they have pissed off the ex-con. Yeah, they's funny-stylin' on 'em. A little further in the journey, they meet a slightly crazy ex-special ops cat (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend and from there its all about trying to figure out what's up.
The acting in this movie is pretty good. You get a full sense of the characters and the story is pretty well developed. To top it off, normally, these types of movies happen in a house in the middle of nowhere but having it happen in a tropical paradise adds a unique sense of reality to the movie.
Normally, I would say this shit is going straight to DVD but I actually enjoyed the movie. The acting is on point. Even though I figured it out early on, I still had fun watching. Its paced very well and has sparse moments of humor that really make the characters interesting. Now I probably wouldn't drop $10-11 a head to see this joint at night but this would make a good matinee and a damn good rental. I already know this joint is gonna get slept on. It shouldn't, but it will. If you like mysteries with a light feel to them, this is your flick. I almost didn't fuck with it but I'm glad I did. Unfortunately, there's not much flesh in this film from the women folk, so its kinda safe but there are some pretty ugly flesh wounds so the gore factor is not exactly at the bottom end.
All in all, its a good joint to fuck with if you are looking for a flick this weekend.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Yeah, mutha fuckas!
Megan Fox is back...
Optimus Prime is back...
Megatron is back...
Jazz is..uh,...well...errr....
This is a big ass flick. Its so big that realistically, you shouldn't even bother with a bootleg of it. I'm not kidding. The ONLY real way to see this movie is in the theater with a big ass bucket of popcorn or a happy meal and a drink you snuck in under your jacket. This movie takes the last movie and multiplies it by 5. The CGI is humongous. There are way more Transformers, way more fight scenes and its way longer...as in two hours and twenty-three minutes! Yep. Piss before you go to the theater.
Okay, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because unless you've been living under a rock or been in jail for the past few years, you already know what time it is with the Transformers.
This time, the Autobots are chasing something new. There's a new, bigger enemy. Of course, Sam is the key...again. Come on, you don't need plot. This movie is about giant robots kicking the shit out of each other sprinkled with various shots of Megan looking hot as fuck. YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT ITS ABOUT.
Now I know the geeks wanna know shit like "Is Soundwave in this" or "What about the Constructicons, Omega Supreme..blah, blah, blah..." FUCK YOU. If you want to know any of that specific shit, take yo ass to the movie or find one of those geek ass spoiler message boards.
The only thing you need to know about this movie is what I have already told you.
This is the biggest movie of the year so far.
Even if you don't like the movie, you will still be able to say you got your money's worth.
If you're going to download and watch a fuzzy ass CAM, you may as well not even watch the movie. This movie is made for the theater experience. At least wait for a good R5 bootleg. This shit is LARGE.
That being said, its "decent" but not great. The humans take a back seat to the CGI and some of the characters from the first movie are reduced to mere one-liners. There are a couple of new faces in this one but over all its about metal vs. metal and you get exactly that. If you like big budget pop-crowd movies, this is as mainstream as it gets. I can't honestly think of a reason to see or not see this movie. Its pretty cut and dry. Either you like giant robot fights or you don't.
Megan Fox is back...
Optimus Prime is back...
Megatron is back...
Jazz is..uh,...well...errr....
This is a big ass flick. Its so big that realistically, you shouldn't even bother with a bootleg of it. I'm not kidding. The ONLY real way to see this movie is in the theater with a big ass bucket of popcorn or a happy meal and a drink you snuck in under your jacket. This movie takes the last movie and multiplies it by 5. The CGI is humongous. There are way more Transformers, way more fight scenes and its way longer...as in two hours and twenty-three minutes! Yep. Piss before you go to the theater.
Okay, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because unless you've been living under a rock or been in jail for the past few years, you already know what time it is with the Transformers.
This time, the Autobots are chasing something new. There's a new, bigger enemy. Of course, Sam is the key...again. Come on, you don't need plot. This movie is about giant robots kicking the shit out of each other sprinkled with various shots of Megan looking hot as fuck. YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT ITS ABOUT.
Now I know the geeks wanna know shit like "Is Soundwave in this" or "What about the Constructicons, Omega Supreme..blah, blah, blah..." FUCK YOU. If you want to know any of that specific shit, take yo ass to the movie or find one of those geek ass spoiler message boards.
The only thing you need to know about this movie is what I have already told you.
This is the biggest movie of the year so far.
Even if you don't like the movie, you will still be able to say you got your money's worth.
If you're going to download and watch a fuzzy ass CAM, you may as well not even watch the movie. This movie is made for the theater experience. At least wait for a good R5 bootleg. This shit is LARGE.
That being said, its "decent" but not great. The humans take a back seat to the CGI and some of the characters from the first movie are reduced to mere one-liners. There are a couple of new faces in this one but over all its about metal vs. metal and you get exactly that. If you like big budget pop-crowd movies, this is as mainstream as it gets. I can't honestly think of a reason to see or not see this movie. Its pretty cut and dry. Either you like giant robot fights or you don't.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Taking Of Pelham 123
Well, looks like its another game of "Let's Remake a Classic" as they finally get around to fucking with this one.
Ironically, I just re-watched the original with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw just a couple of weeks ago.
There are considerable differences between these two movies. The original was a slick, stylish film about the hijacking of a subway car - Pelham 123 in which Walter Matthau, the dispatch operator, exchanged a lot of slick dialogue with Robert Shaw, his real-life friend and co-star. Robert Shaw was the hijacker, seeking to get ransom money and would only talk to Walter Matthau. A lot of good dialogue was exchanged in that film.
Stepping into Matthau's role is Denzel Washington. Into Shaw's - John Travolta. A good pairing if you ask me. For some reason, I like Travolta much better as a bad guy. In this movie, he continues to impress as a bad guy.
Now if you think you're going to get a heads up on this film by going back and watching the old one, think again, mutha fucka! Not gonna happen. The old film was very textured in that it showed NY as it was in the 70s. Well, NY is very obviously a different place now. Times are different and people react differently to different things. Technology is different and they utilize all of that in this movie. Also, because the average moviegoer has the attention span of a gnat, its not laid out the same way the original was with a lot of clever back-n-forth between the two main characters. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's some - just not as much or in the same way as the original. In this flick, Denzel is not a cop. He doesn't play his normal, cooler than thou character. Travolta playas an arrogant and commanding fucker...almost like his normal bad guy roles, but he's not as clam in this and you never know when he's going to flip.
If you haven't seen the original (or the trailers), you may not know that this is a hijacking movie. In truth, this film is more than a hijacking movie. I think the idea was pretty decent and they don't reveal the full plot to the audience until late in the movie. John Turturro and Luiz Guzman give good performances, although John is playing a slightly watered down version of his role as the asshole agent in Transformers. James Gandolfini gives a good show at being the "I don't give a fuck" mayor who is trying as fast as he can to get to the end of his term and say "Fuck NY".
Okay, here's the quick rundown - John and a few henchmen orchestrate the hijacking of a subway car and ask for ransom. Most of the communication is between John and Denzel as Denzel is the current controller for that particular section. The movie explores a few options - "Is there more to it all than this?" "Are Denzel and John in on this together?" all the while keeping the audience interested by sparse action resulting in a few deaths here and there. Most of the movie plays out in the subway car and the controller's offices.
Now, since this is a modern movie, modern movie goers have far more expectations than the audiences of the 70s, so there are differences. I can't tell you what they are, but there are differences. While this movie lacks the style and slick lyricism of the original, it will hold your attention if you're one of the pop crowd of movie goers who gets "bored with too much talking" and want to see some shit get fucked up. Tony Scott is a good director and doesn't disappoint.
My criticism, ,however is that in my opinion, Tony brought Dave Chappelle's "Wrap It Up" box on the set with him for the end. Its like they said "Aight, let's finish this shit quick and NOW!" Part of the appeal of the original was the end with the sneeze and the look on Walter Matthau's face. This movie does NOT end that way. I think the end is my least favorite part of the movie. I still have to hand it to them for making what is otherwise a tired concept (hijackings are sooo 80s) into a watchable film. I think Tony went a little too Hollywood and underestimates the general audience's tolerance for great acting and good dialog. To be honest, this film had more action than it needed and that detracted slightly from the character interaction. I think Denzel held back nicely while Travolta was wilding out as he does sometimes.
I would say this joint is worth a matinee or if you're going on a date, even a night viewing. I've spent money on worse movies.
This movie teeters between being typical and exceptional, falling short of being a great remake but being far from being a shitty one. The Denzel/Travolta performance is worth it for me, but some people are going to dislike this movie no matter what I say. I'd fuck with it again if I had to. Ain't shit else worth fuckin' with that's opening on the 12th except for possibly the new Eddie Murphy joint - Imagine That. Unless you're gonna catch up on the shit you've already missed, what else you gonna fuck with? The Taking Of Pelham 123 is probably your best bet. If not, its damn sure a good rental when the DVD drops. Fuck with it.
Ironically, I just re-watched the original with Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw just a couple of weeks ago.
There are considerable differences between these two movies. The original was a slick, stylish film about the hijacking of a subway car - Pelham 123 in which Walter Matthau, the dispatch operator, exchanged a lot of slick dialogue with Robert Shaw, his real-life friend and co-star. Robert Shaw was the hijacker, seeking to get ransom money and would only talk to Walter Matthau. A lot of good dialogue was exchanged in that film.
Stepping into Matthau's role is Denzel Washington. Into Shaw's - John Travolta. A good pairing if you ask me. For some reason, I like Travolta much better as a bad guy. In this movie, he continues to impress as a bad guy.
Now if you think you're going to get a heads up on this film by going back and watching the old one, think again, mutha fucka! Not gonna happen. The old film was very textured in that it showed NY as it was in the 70s. Well, NY is very obviously a different place now. Times are different and people react differently to different things. Technology is different and they utilize all of that in this movie. Also, because the average moviegoer has the attention span of a gnat, its not laid out the same way the original was with a lot of clever back-n-forth between the two main characters. Oh, don't get me wrong, there's some - just not as much or in the same way as the original. In this flick, Denzel is not a cop. He doesn't play his normal, cooler than thou character. Travolta playas an arrogant and commanding fucker...almost like his normal bad guy roles, but he's not as clam in this and you never know when he's going to flip.
If you haven't seen the original (or the trailers), you may not know that this is a hijacking movie. In truth, this film is more than a hijacking movie. I think the idea was pretty decent and they don't reveal the full plot to the audience until late in the movie. John Turturro and Luiz Guzman give good performances, although John is playing a slightly watered down version of his role as the asshole agent in Transformers. James Gandolfini gives a good show at being the "I don't give a fuck" mayor who is trying as fast as he can to get to the end of his term and say "Fuck NY".
Okay, here's the quick rundown - John and a few henchmen orchestrate the hijacking of a subway car and ask for ransom. Most of the communication is between John and Denzel as Denzel is the current controller for that particular section. The movie explores a few options - "Is there more to it all than this?" "Are Denzel and John in on this together?" all the while keeping the audience interested by sparse action resulting in a few deaths here and there. Most of the movie plays out in the subway car and the controller's offices.
Now, since this is a modern movie, modern movie goers have far more expectations than the audiences of the 70s, so there are differences. I can't tell you what they are, but there are differences. While this movie lacks the style and slick lyricism of the original, it will hold your attention if you're one of the pop crowd of movie goers who gets "bored with too much talking" and want to see some shit get fucked up. Tony Scott is a good director and doesn't disappoint.
My criticism, ,however is that in my opinion, Tony brought Dave Chappelle's "Wrap It Up" box on the set with him for the end. Its like they said "Aight, let's finish this shit quick and NOW!" Part of the appeal of the original was the end with the sneeze and the look on Walter Matthau's face. This movie does NOT end that way. I think the end is my least favorite part of the movie. I still have to hand it to them for making what is otherwise a tired concept (hijackings are sooo 80s) into a watchable film. I think Tony went a little too Hollywood and underestimates the general audience's tolerance for great acting and good dialog. To be honest, this film had more action than it needed and that detracted slightly from the character interaction. I think Denzel held back nicely while Travolta was wilding out as he does sometimes.
I would say this joint is worth a matinee or if you're going on a date, even a night viewing. I've spent money on worse movies.
This movie teeters between being typical and exceptional, falling short of being a great remake but being far from being a shitty one. The Denzel/Travolta performance is worth it for me, but some people are going to dislike this movie no matter what I say. I'd fuck with it again if I had to. Ain't shit else worth fuckin' with that's opening on the 12th except for possibly the new Eddie Murphy joint - Imagine That. Unless you're gonna catch up on the shit you've already missed, what else you gonna fuck with? The Taking Of Pelham 123 is probably your best bet. If not, its damn sure a good rental when the DVD drops. Fuck with it.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Next Day Air - Mo Review
Donald Faison is a talented dude who is funny as fuck on Scrubs. Mos Def is a talented dude who is a fire rapper and has a unique onscreen presence. Mike Epps is an all around funny mofo that can add life to an otherwise dull movie. Wood Harris has been killin' it on screen for years and Darius McCrary...well...there was always Family Matters, Eddie. Still, with the talent line up in this movie, you would think you'd be able to squeeze out a decent comedy about a mis-delivered box of drugs, a couple of high ass delivery dudes, some pissed off dealers and some happy ass two-time loser crooks. You would think, right? Well, Benny Boom almost did with his directorial debut. The problem is that this movie couldn't decide what kind of comedy it was going to be, if it was going to be a comedy at all.
Let me lay it out a little bit:
Donald Faison (Leo) is a fuck up. He's a delivery driver who gets high 24/7 and is only holding onto his job because his mom (Debbie Allen) is the supervisor. Wood Harris (Guch) and Mike Epps (Brody) are homies that are "crime buddies" who constantly fuck up heists, the latest one being a bank robbery where they end up jacking the security tapes instead of the money. Cisco Reyes (Jesus - that's HAY-zeus, but not if you let him tell it) is waiting for a big shipment of coke from his boss while being constantly reprimanded by his pestering girlfriend Yasmin Deliz (Chita). [Mos Def]Damn, that bitch was bad![/Mos Def]
Leo fucks up and delivers the box to Jesus's neighbors, Brody and Guch. See where this is going? The shit should have been funny as fuck. They made a few crucial mistakes. Mos Def is highly underused. He's only in a couple of scenes - one of which is in the trailer. Secondly, the movie goes from being a comedy to being a black comedy (not a black cast comedy, fools! A black comedy like War Of The Roses or Pulp Fiction) to being a drama with a message? I'm not even sure. That's the problem. Benny, you need to go back to directing videos, nigga - if you can't get your shit together. One of the most important parts of directing is DIRECTION and this movie had too many. Instead of being "typical" they tried to flip shit up. I wish they'd have chosen to be typical. The reason there are formulas for certain types of movies is because they work. If this were an indie film, they could have played with it a bit more and it could have been tight. Instead, they were vague about what kind of movie you were seeing and the characters were not likable enough for you to feel compassion for any of them. There have been many movies to fall into this trap before. I remember not caring if any of the characters from Cloverfield survived because none of them were all that relatable. This movie, while having funny characters, also had characters that were too flawed to see as the protagonist and you end up defaulting to characters that are "less fucked up" than others.
I went in wanting to like this movie. I admit that. The ending made me have to cast a dark cloud on this film.
If you go see this joint, go see it because you want to support Benny in hopes he gets it right next time. Go see it because you know all of the white folk and Trek fans are going to be at Star Trek. Go to see fine ass Yasmin Deliz, who actually proved to have much more potential as an actress after this film. Go for the theater experience. Go for the popcorn and artificial butter. Just don't go thinking Mo suggested it. I would really wait till this movie is on video to see it.
Let me lay it out a little bit:
Donald Faison (Leo) is a fuck up. He's a delivery driver who gets high 24/7 and is only holding onto his job because his mom (Debbie Allen) is the supervisor. Wood Harris (Guch) and Mike Epps (Brody) are homies that are "crime buddies" who constantly fuck up heists, the latest one being a bank robbery where they end up jacking the security tapes instead of the money. Cisco Reyes (Jesus - that's HAY-zeus, but not if you let him tell it) is waiting for a big shipment of coke from his boss while being constantly reprimanded by his pestering girlfriend Yasmin Deliz (Chita). [Mos Def]Damn, that bitch was bad![/Mos Def]
Leo fucks up and delivers the box to Jesus's neighbors, Brody and Guch. See where this is going? The shit should have been funny as fuck. They made a few crucial mistakes. Mos Def is highly underused. He's only in a couple of scenes - one of which is in the trailer. Secondly, the movie goes from being a comedy to being a black comedy (not a black cast comedy, fools! A black comedy like War Of The Roses or Pulp Fiction) to being a drama with a message? I'm not even sure. That's the problem. Benny, you need to go back to directing videos, nigga - if you can't get your shit together. One of the most important parts of directing is DIRECTION and this movie had too many. Instead of being "typical" they tried to flip shit up. I wish they'd have chosen to be typical. The reason there are formulas for certain types of movies is because they work. If this were an indie film, they could have played with it a bit more and it could have been tight. Instead, they were vague about what kind of movie you were seeing and the characters were not likable enough for you to feel compassion for any of them. There have been many movies to fall into this trap before. I remember not caring if any of the characters from Cloverfield survived because none of them were all that relatable. This movie, while having funny characters, also had characters that were too flawed to see as the protagonist and you end up defaulting to characters that are "less fucked up" than others.
I went in wanting to like this movie. I admit that. The ending made me have to cast a dark cloud on this film.
If you go see this joint, go see it because you want to support Benny in hopes he gets it right next time. Go see it because you know all of the white folk and Trek fans are going to be at Star Trek. Go to see fine ass Yasmin Deliz, who actually proved to have much more potential as an actress after this film. Go for the theater experience. Go for the popcorn and artificial butter. Just don't go thinking Mo suggested it. I would really wait till this movie is on video to see it.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Star Trek
So JJ Abrahms must have felt guilty after that Cloverfield fiasco and decided to come back in a big way.
I was floored by the job he did on Star Trek. This shit is off the hook. Of course, we know all of the characters, which means Abrahms was walking a tightrope because if he miscast any one character, everyone would hate his movie. He didn't. I was completely feelin' Zoe Saldana as Uhura. Kirk was pompous and headstrong without the bad acting. Casting John Cho as Sulu and Simon Peg as Scotty was a damn good idea because this movie is much funnier than I expected. Its borderline comedy. Now they did change a few details and take a couple of creative licenses but nothing that would fuck up the characters. The plot line was tight and the best casting was actually probably Carl Urban as McCoy. Dude had him dead on! Leonard Nemoy himself chose Spock - and he chose well. Dude that played Chekov had the voice down perfect and the goofy stares, too.The effects were off the chain, the story was thorough, the characters were dead on and you can see how they developed into the characters of the original cast from their experiences. I honestly have no complaints at all about this flick. Now, I'm not saying its perfect. Eric Bana came off as a little too anxious for a Romulan and I could have stood to see a bigger fight scene with him. Other than that, it was off the hook. I fully recommend this joint. In case you're wondering or haven't seen the trailer, its a prequel that takes place before the actually first Star Trek series. Dumb question time:
Q: Can I take the kids?
A: Duh.
Q: Should I matineé this mutha fucka?
A: Any time is fine. Its actually worth the money.
Q: Will this beat Wolverine at the box office?
A: Why the fuck do you care? Did you invest in one of the movies? If not, then who gives a fuck? It ain't your money. Stop worrying about other peoples' cash flow.
This, in my opinion, is a better movie than Wolverine.
Personally, there's not a choice between the two. Wolverine was decent but I could site several things that make it less desirable of a movie. Star Trek was WELL DONE on all levels. It doesn't matter if you're an old trekkie from the first series or if you've never seen a Star Trek episode in your life. This was a good movie all around. It was a good balance of sci-fi, adventure and comedy and will probably be worth re-watching years from now.
Bottom line: Fucks with this. Take the kids. Take your girl. Enjoy. I know there will always be somebody who doesn't like it. I can't help you there. This is a good joint. Its worth a trip to the theater. A fuzzy bootleg won't do it justice.
I was floored by the job he did on Star Trek. This shit is off the hook. Of course, we know all of the characters, which means Abrahms was walking a tightrope because if he miscast any one character, everyone would hate his movie. He didn't. I was completely feelin' Zoe Saldana as Uhura. Kirk was pompous and headstrong without the bad acting. Casting John Cho as Sulu and Simon Peg as Scotty was a damn good idea because this movie is much funnier than I expected. Its borderline comedy. Now they did change a few details and take a couple of creative licenses but nothing that would fuck up the characters. The plot line was tight and the best casting was actually probably Carl Urban as McCoy. Dude had him dead on! Leonard Nemoy himself chose Spock - and he chose well. Dude that played Chekov had the voice down perfect and the goofy stares, too.The effects were off the chain, the story was thorough, the characters were dead on and you can see how they developed into the characters of the original cast from their experiences. I honestly have no complaints at all about this flick. Now, I'm not saying its perfect. Eric Bana came off as a little too anxious for a Romulan and I could have stood to see a bigger fight scene with him. Other than that, it was off the hook. I fully recommend this joint. In case you're wondering or haven't seen the trailer, its a prequel that takes place before the actually first Star Trek series. Dumb question time:
Q: Can I take the kids?
A: Duh.
Q: Should I matineé this mutha fucka?
A: Any time is fine. Its actually worth the money.
Q: Will this beat Wolverine at the box office?
A: Why the fuck do you care? Did you invest in one of the movies? If not, then who gives a fuck? It ain't your money. Stop worrying about other peoples' cash flow.
This, in my opinion, is a better movie than Wolverine.
Personally, there's not a choice between the two. Wolverine was decent but I could site several things that make it less desirable of a movie. Star Trek was WELL DONE on all levels. It doesn't matter if you're an old trekkie from the first series or if you've never seen a Star Trek episode in your life. This was a good movie all around. It was a good balance of sci-fi, adventure and comedy and will probably be worth re-watching years from now.
Bottom line: Fucks with this. Take the kids. Take your girl. Enjoy. I know there will always be somebody who doesn't like it. I can't help you there. This is a good joint. Its worth a trip to the theater. A fuzzy bootleg won't do it justice.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Last House On The Left
In this era of remakes where it seems like nobody has an original thought, all you can usually do is hope that they at least do a good job on the remake. Well, I think Hollywood is starting to get the idea with movies like The Last House On The Left.
Normally, most would sit up and compare it to the original version. Well, fuck that. I'm not gonna do it...THIS TIME. A quick run down on the flick: A family rolls out to this summer home in the woods. (Last house on the left my ass, it was the ONLY house on the left). Daughter - champion swimmer, only child. She, mom and dad the doctor are just out kicking it, doing what happy upper middle class white folk do.
Daughter decides to go kick it with her friend the pothead. They run into this teen boy with the good stuff (sticky icky) and they bounce over to his hotel room to smoke one. Daughter is reluctant but friend is good to go (as always). While they are there, in comes Daddy, his girl and his uncle. That's when the party starts. Since they are all psychopaths (except the son), its no surprise that they wild out. Being that they are wanted criminals, the son realizes that he fucked up when his dad, uncle and dad's bitch take them into the woods and kick off what has to be one of the most graphic and unsettling rape scenes in American film in the last 15 years or so. I mean that shit was hard! (So that's what killer Dad does when he's not hunting down John Connor, huh?) The wild thing is that you actually see more nudity in this movie from killer Dad's girlfriend than you do of the victim (daughter) but the scene itself is harsh. You really realize how traumatizing rape probably is and they really drive home how vicious humans can be. Now, this scene is not as cold as Monica Bellucci's scene in "Irreversible", which in my opinion is the most graphic rape scene in cinema, but its not too far off. Now, the shit gets interesting because it really takes a turn for the worst for the girls and as it turns out, the "family" is very near the house with the daughter's mom and dad and it starts to storm, so guess where they show up?
Yeah, after a carefully placed item gets noticed, the shit pops off! You already know how these types of movies are gonna go if you've seen a lot of thrillers. Unlike a lot of other recent movies, Last House On The Left actually is a thrill to watch. I think because its a hard R instead of PG-13 and that made a big difference.
Okay, now for the questions: If I go, can I take my 6, 9, 13, 15 year old? HELL NO!
Its it worth paying full admission price for?
Uh, I probably wouldn't just because its a mid-budget thriller and the acting is just "okay" but if you want to see a real R rated movie like they used to have back in the 70s/80s, this is it. As a matter of fact, its one of the most "R" rated movies I've seen this year. Its well worth the matinee price but heed my warning, if you take a female, she may get up and walk out of this one and don't expect to get no action afterward unless she has rape fantasies. There's nothing that gets a woman out of the mood like seeing another woman get violated.
This movie isn't that bad. As a matter of fact, its pretty good and stands up on its own, even though its a remake. I have a couple of personal issues with how weak Dr. Dad came off at times. I'm sick of Hollywood trying to send the subtle messages that men are weak. That shit is played out. But, fuck it. I won't go there...THIS TIME.
This shit ain't for kids and it ain't for teens either. If you go, DON'T TAKE THEM.
Its worth the dough for a matineé if you see a lot of movies. If you don't, go ahead and pay the full price. I've seen people pay more for worse.
Hollywood is starting to come around and make real R-rated cinema again. I like this trend. I'm sick of having to wait for the "unrated DVD" to see the real movie.
Peace.
Normally, most would sit up and compare it to the original version. Well, fuck that. I'm not gonna do it...THIS TIME. A quick run down on the flick: A family rolls out to this summer home in the woods. (Last house on the left my ass, it was the ONLY house on the left). Daughter - champion swimmer, only child. She, mom and dad the doctor are just out kicking it, doing what happy upper middle class white folk do.
Daughter decides to go kick it with her friend the pothead. They run into this teen boy with the good stuff (sticky icky) and they bounce over to his hotel room to smoke one. Daughter is reluctant but friend is good to go (as always). While they are there, in comes Daddy, his girl and his uncle. That's when the party starts. Since they are all psychopaths (except the son), its no surprise that they wild out. Being that they are wanted criminals, the son realizes that he fucked up when his dad, uncle and dad's bitch take them into the woods and kick off what has to be one of the most graphic and unsettling rape scenes in American film in the last 15 years or so. I mean that shit was hard! (So that's what killer Dad does when he's not hunting down John Connor, huh?) The wild thing is that you actually see more nudity in this movie from killer Dad's girlfriend than you do of the victim (daughter) but the scene itself is harsh. You really realize how traumatizing rape probably is and they really drive home how vicious humans can be. Now, this scene is not as cold as Monica Bellucci's scene in "Irreversible", which in my opinion is the most graphic rape scene in cinema, but its not too far off. Now, the shit gets interesting because it really takes a turn for the worst for the girls and as it turns out, the "family" is very near the house with the daughter's mom and dad and it starts to storm, so guess where they show up?
Yeah, after a carefully placed item gets noticed, the shit pops off! You already know how these types of movies are gonna go if you've seen a lot of thrillers. Unlike a lot of other recent movies, Last House On The Left actually is a thrill to watch. I think because its a hard R instead of PG-13 and that made a big difference.
Okay, now for the questions: If I go, can I take my 6, 9, 13, 15 year old? HELL NO!
Its it worth paying full admission price for?
Uh, I probably wouldn't just because its a mid-budget thriller and the acting is just "okay" but if you want to see a real R rated movie like they used to have back in the 70s/80s, this is it. As a matter of fact, its one of the most "R" rated movies I've seen this year. Its well worth the matinee price but heed my warning, if you take a female, she may get up and walk out of this one and don't expect to get no action afterward unless she has rape fantasies. There's nothing that gets a woman out of the mood like seeing another woman get violated.
This movie isn't that bad. As a matter of fact, its pretty good and stands up on its own, even though its a remake. I have a couple of personal issues with how weak Dr. Dad came off at times. I'm sick of Hollywood trying to send the subtle messages that men are weak. That shit is played out. But, fuck it. I won't go there...THIS TIME.
This shit ain't for kids and it ain't for teens either. If you go, DON'T TAKE THEM.
Its worth the dough for a matineé if you see a lot of movies. If you don't, go ahead and pay the full price. I've seen people pay more for worse.
Hollywood is starting to come around and make real R-rated cinema again. I like this trend. I'm sick of having to wait for the "unrated DVD" to see the real movie.
Peace.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Unborn
I almost didn't write a review for this shit. Its the first flick I've screened this year and it SUCKED. The best thing about this movie was Meagan Good and what the fuck is Gary Oldman doin'? Oh wait, I get it. This is David S. Goyer's flick. David wrote Batman. Gary played comissioner Gordon. Nevermind. I get the connection.
David Goyer should no be allowed to write and direct at the same time. Dude is one of those mutha fuckas who instead of being able to edit himself, instead arrogantly finds no fault with his work and tries to make it work anyway. I guess he didn't learn shit from Blade: Trinity. He fucked that series up so bad, people would literally have to "unwatch" Blade: Trinity in order to fix it. Great writer; shitty director.
Well, this is no different. Cute ass Odette Yustman starts seeing the ghost of a little boy. He starts fucking with her, appearing all over the place. Turns out its a ghost trying to be reborn. She seeks help from various sources, first with her friend who believes in ghosts (played by the sexy Meagan Good). Meagan's character was fun, funny and probably the most entertaining out of the bunch. Honestly, she was the most memorable, and not just because she's fine as hell.
She also sought advice from a Rabbi played by Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman? WTF? Sorry. That shit shocks me every time. It would have been like seeing Ben Kingsly in Cloverfield. A true "WTF" moment. (that's "what the fuck" for the dumbasses)
Anyway, the little ghost boy fucks with her, fucks with her friends and kicks up a lot of shit.
Now I don't know shit about Kabalah, or Jewish mysticism but I know the rules of an American horror flick.
Black folk must die.
White folk must find something old or chant some shit to make a ghost go away.
The main character is usually female and has to come to some grand realization at the end in order to destroy the antagonist.
Knowing that, you can say you've already seen this flick and you're just going to fill in the details, right?
Now would you go if I said, that the gratuitous nudity is very minimal and all you see is back and a little side boob from a chick built like a 12 year old boy?
Would you go if I told you that all of the "scare tactics" are "jump scares" ?
Would you go if I told you that they could show this shit on the sci-fi channel unedited?
Would you go if I told you to stay your ass at home and download the bootleg or rent the shit when it comes on DVD if you MUST see it?
Well, that's what I'm telling you. Fuck this bullshit. Unless you've been in jail for the past 15 years and haven't seen any movie at all and someone came to their senses at the last minute and hands you free tickets, do yourself a favor and pass on this shit until its on cable.
Yes, Odette looks like a granola version of Meagan Fox. You do get to see some cameltoe. Yes Meagan Good looks fine as fuck in this movie and delivers the best performance of the film (aside from Gary, of course but that's like hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer). Yes there is a scary child in it.
With all of those seeming slightly redeeming traits, this shit is just not scary unless you are 15.
Want to see a great flick? Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you can find it. Its easily one of the best flicks that came out in 2008 and is definitely worth every penny you spend to see it.
Pass on this shit altogether.
David Goyer should no be allowed to write and direct at the same time. Dude is one of those mutha fuckas who instead of being able to edit himself, instead arrogantly finds no fault with his work and tries to make it work anyway. I guess he didn't learn shit from Blade: Trinity. He fucked that series up so bad, people would literally have to "unwatch" Blade: Trinity in order to fix it. Great writer; shitty director.
Well, this is no different. Cute ass Odette Yustman starts seeing the ghost of a little boy. He starts fucking with her, appearing all over the place. Turns out its a ghost trying to be reborn. She seeks help from various sources, first with her friend who believes in ghosts (played by the sexy Meagan Good). Meagan's character was fun, funny and probably the most entertaining out of the bunch. Honestly, she was the most memorable, and not just because she's fine as hell.
She also sought advice from a Rabbi played by Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman? WTF? Sorry. That shit shocks me every time. It would have been like seeing Ben Kingsly in Cloverfield. A true "WTF" moment. (that's "what the fuck" for the dumbasses)
Anyway, the little ghost boy fucks with her, fucks with her friends and kicks up a lot of shit.
Now I don't know shit about Kabalah, or Jewish mysticism but I know the rules of an American horror flick.
Black folk must die.
White folk must find something old or chant some shit to make a ghost go away.
The main character is usually female and has to come to some grand realization at the end in order to destroy the antagonist.
Knowing that, you can say you've already seen this flick and you're just going to fill in the details, right?
Now would you go if I said, that the gratuitous nudity is very minimal and all you see is back and a little side boob from a chick built like a 12 year old boy?
Would you go if I told you that all of the "scare tactics" are "jump scares" ?
Would you go if I told you that they could show this shit on the sci-fi channel unedited?
Would you go if I told you to stay your ass at home and download the bootleg or rent the shit when it comes on DVD if you MUST see it?
Well, that's what I'm telling you. Fuck this bullshit. Unless you've been in jail for the past 15 years and haven't seen any movie at all and someone came to their senses at the last minute and hands you free tickets, do yourself a favor and pass on this shit until its on cable.
Yes, Odette looks like a granola version of Meagan Fox. You do get to see some cameltoe. Yes Meagan Good looks fine as fuck in this movie and delivers the best performance of the film (aside from Gary, of course but that's like hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer). Yes there is a scary child in it.
With all of those seeming slightly redeeming traits, this shit is just not scary unless you are 15.
Want to see a great flick? Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you can find it. Its easily one of the best flicks that came out in 2008 and is definitely worth every penny you spend to see it.
Pass on this shit altogether.
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