The Unborn

I almost didn't write a review for this shit. Its the first flick I've screened this year and it SUCKED. The best thing about this movie was Meagan Good and what the fuck is Gary Oldman doin'? Oh wait, I get it. This is David S. Goyer's flick. David wrote Batman. Gary played comissioner Gordon. Nevermind. I get the connection.
David Goyer should no be allowed to write and direct at the same time. Dude is one of those mutha fuckas who instead of being able to edit himself, instead arrogantly finds no fault with his work and tries to make it work anyway. I guess he didn't learn shit from Blade: Trinity. He fucked that series up so bad, people would literally have to "unwatch" Blade: Trinity in order to fix it. Great writer; shitty director.
Well, this is no different. Cute ass Odette Yustman starts seeing the ghost of a little boy. He starts fucking with her, appearing all over the place. Turns out its a ghost trying to be reborn. She seeks help from various sources, first with her friend who believes in ghosts (played by the sexy Meagan Good). Meagan's character was fun, funny and probably the most entertaining out of the bunch. Honestly, she was the most memorable, and not just because she's fine as hell.
She also sought advice from a Rabbi played by Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman? WTF? Sorry. That shit shocks me every time. It would have been like seeing Ben Kingsly in Cloverfield. A true "WTF" moment. (that's "what the fuck" for the dumbasses)
Anyway, the little ghost boy fucks with her, fucks with her friends and kicks up a lot of shit.
Now I don't know shit about Kabalah, or Jewish mysticism but I know the rules of an American horror flick.
Black folk must die.
White folk must find something old or chant some shit to make a ghost go away.
The main character is usually female and has to come to some grand realization at the end in order to destroy the antagonist.
Knowing that, you can say you've already seen this flick and you're just going to fill in the details, right?
Now would you go if I said, that the gratuitous nudity is very minimal and all you see is back and a little side boob from a chick built like a 12 year old boy?
Would you go if I told you that all of the "scare tactics" are "jump scares" ?
Would you go if I told you that they could show this shit on the sci-fi channel unedited?
Would you go if I told you to stay your ass at home and download the bootleg or rent the shit when it comes on DVD if you MUST see it?
Well, that's what I'm telling you. Fuck this bullshit. Unless you've been in jail for the past 15 years and haven't seen any movie at all and someone came to their senses at the last minute and hands you free tickets, do yourself a favor and pass on this shit until its on cable.
Yes, Odette looks like a granola version of Meagan Fox. You do get to see some cameltoe. Yes Meagan Good looks fine as fuck in this movie and delivers the best performance of the film (aside from Gary, of course but that's like hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer). Yes there is a scary child in it.
With all of those seeming slightly redeeming traits, this shit is just not scary unless you are 15.
Want to see a great flick? Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you can find it. Its easily one of the best flicks that came out in 2008 and is definitely worth every penny you spend to see it.
Pass on this shit altogether.